and I don't love him.It is making me so very unhappy and stressed,which in turn makes me sick....I keep on getting stomach aches and sometimes I throw up.I don't sleep very well and I am losing it.I would love to leave,but I have no where to go,I don't have a car.I have a job,and I am going to school....So what I am asking is how do I do this?What can I do.I knowI need to leave soon before I go mad,but I need help.
2006-12-27 13:24:53 · 26 answers · asked by greeneyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Get a job first. Save up some money. Then get out.
In the mean time, go do things for yourself. All it takes is a walk down the street and back. Or listening to music. It doesn't have to cost you money.
Kudos for you for wanting independence and your own life.
2006-12-27 13:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I was you five months ago. The idea of moving back to my father's was horrible, inconceivable to me. I would be moving my three children to a one bedroom apartment that I had no money to even rent. I was reliant on a man that supported us when he wasn't also supporting a drinking habit. I was not going to school and I didn't have a job. All I had was a car. One day I came home and I caught him doing drugs. Our children were in the next room. I bit the bullet and left. I was terrified, sick to my stomach, at my father's mercy and he couldn't support us. I didn't know what to do. I opened up the yellow pages, went to the only thing I knew how to do (home care) and called every agency in the book. Within a week, I had a new job that made double the industry norm, I was paying my rent, registering my kids in a new school district, and making it work. I only work while my kids are in school and I completely support them on my own. I never thought that I would want to date again, and here I am dating a guy who treats me better than I have ever been treated before! My kids are happier, I'm happier, and my family finally feels like I'm going to be all right for the first time in years. I know it seems impossible but bite the bullet! Do it while you still have years left!! I am a real person and you can email me anytime you need to. Best of luck to you!!
2006-12-27 13:41:29 · answer #2 · answered by answergrrl3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are your child's grandparents? Do you have any friends you can trust to take care of your child?
If you are going to school, the facility most likely has a daycare center in it. Check that out.
Get a simple job at a flexible place such as Walmart or McDonalds. These places are open usually 24 hours & always need help.
You are elgible to have the state pay for your child's daycare costs while you work. Check into area daycares.
Lose the guy & do the above mentioned options. You will gain tremendous self-esteem.
Good Luck!
2006-12-27 13:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How come you are broke but have a job and he pays for everything? Honestly, you should save up as much as you can. Don't tell him you are thinking of leaving if you dont feel you can do this. Does he even have a clue you are uphappy? Do you have any family? friends that could help? Try going to social services for help in getting started out again. Put things away in storage. Copy his records, know his social security number and copy his checks. Is the child his? You will need to be sure you have full custody or he could just take him/her. Go for child support.
2006-12-27 13:30:25 · answer #4 · answered by Jay Jay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay babygirl be strong no matter what okay? you have to be strong for your child. I know this is a hard time because my best friend is going through the same thing. try to find a job that pays more then your other job and every check you get take half of it and put it in the bank. hopefully if you save up enough you can get your own place it doesn't have to be fancy but just something for you and your child. keep going to school though because you'll appreciate it in the long run because you'll be making so much money you'll look at your boyfriend like ha look I did this on my own. I hope this helps
2006-12-27 13:28:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That certainly is upsetting, and I think it's time that you have a real talk to this good guy whose been there for you. It is good that your conscious is letting you realize what you are doing is unfair. I would also see if there isn't a way to make yourself more Independent, setting money aside to do better to support yourself. If you have any family or friends that you help support you I would start contacting them.
But as for the guy, no doubt he's bonded with you & your child and maybe it's worth looking at the reasons you don't love him, which might be a simple matter of feeling too dependent on him, or he doesn't fit into your ideal relationship. Sometimes the people that are Right for us aren't who we expect. But either way it's better to be gentle but honest with him, than to lead him to wonder what's bothering you.
2006-12-27 13:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by Aphrodite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't mind a little dent in your dignity, there is always Foodstamps, Wellfare, and WIC (if you qualify), as well as housing assistance or shelters that you can receive or rely on until you get your feet back under you.
I don't condone abusing these charities, but some people really need the help. Don't feel bad that you want to get out of a crappy relationship. Take charge of your life. If you need more emotional support, try the website below.
2006-12-27 13:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by sapphire_adera 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he abusive? You could contact your local Women's Resource Center and see what they have to say. Do you have family? You could ask them for temporary help. FIND A JOB!!! If you can't get a job, go to the state job service center and find out how you can get free job skill training. The government has tons of programs for single mothers. Just do some research. Furthermore, you need to stop moping around. Your kids depend on you, and you don't have the luxury of being able to mope and feel sorry for yourself. Life as a parent is nothing but constant work and worry.
2006-12-27 13:27:30 · answer #8 · answered by littlechrismary 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you have a job and are going to school, your escape route is in progress. After you complete school, you should be able to support yourself. If you have no money, you may be able to get no cost therapy.
If this guy is abusive, then get some social services relief to live on your own, or in a hurry get to a shelter while you get the social services help.
There is a thing called karma. You reap what you sow. You are using someone. Do not do that again. You do not want to pay again.
2006-12-27 13:32:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with a counselor at school. They may be able to plug you in to some community resources. Try to set aside some money for rent and begin to price out apartments on public transportation lines. Try community centers, churches, housing authorities. any where you can to find the help you need.
Don't be afraid! You can do this! You are an intelligent, competent woman.
2006-12-27 13:30:23 · answer #10 · answered by dmjrev 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋