How do you handle hurting some1 u love... or forgiving yourself?

Question

I made a huge mistake & did something terrible 2 my sister that i cannot forgive myself4. (4the record, i did not sleep with her boyfriend 4 those of u wondering....) This has nothing 2 do with how she feels about it or whether she chooses 2 forgive me or not though. That is a separate issue. No matter how she chooses 2react i cannot find forgiveness 4 myself, i cannot put it behind me, i obsess over it it has me so overwhelmed with guilt & upset. I have always been her big sister, her protector, her confidant, her best friend, the person who "protects" her from these type of things. And now i've become the cause of 1 of these things. I feel terrible over it, i've never hurt her b4 but this is just inexusable & i cannot move past it 4 the life of me. Thanks in advance 2 all who reply

Answer 1

You will have to forgive yourself and move on in your own time. You are not perfect and you screwed up. So does everyone else at one time or another. At least you acknowledge that what you did was wrong. Just try not to do it again. Continue to be a big sister and above all else let her know how much you love her everyday if you can. Time cheats us. You can't change the past but you can shape the future. Good luck :)

Answer 2

It's unfortunate that you can't go into more detail as to what you did to your sister that is causing you to be so tormented. You said that you can't find forgiveness for yourself. Right now you can't, but give yourself some time to see if the intensity of your feelings subside. It might help you to talk to a mental health therapist about your feelings. No one's perfect. We all, at some time or other, say and do hurtful things to those we love. It seems to me you've learned a valueable lesson here because the guilt and self-recriminations you feel are so overwhelming, you are unlikely to do whatever it is you did, ever again.

Answer 3

Some of us can easily forgive others but have a terrible time forgiving ourselves. I'm not really sure how to forgive yourself & in my own experience, time doesn't take it away but just leaves bigger gaps between you punishing yourself for it.
I do know that if you don't find a way to forgive yourself, it will eat you up inside. I'm still working on how it's done but if I find a way, I'll let you know.

Answer 4

Sounds like self punishment is more harsh at this stage than anything else. You are the only one who can do the forgiving at this stage and until you're ready it won't happen. As for your sister, she might realise you just plain made a mistake.....

Answer 5

It is difficult to answer, when you don't tell us what you did.

I had a 13 year old sister when I was born. The whole idea of my arrival disgusted her. (as well as having to share a room with me and looking after me)

I have never blamed her but it has taken us a long time to become the best of friends. Stop worrying and let time take its course.

Answer 6

its awful that you would do that to your sister, expectally if you care for her like that, what ever it is

but the best thing you can do is keep on protecting her, and loving her, and be there for her and some day you'll have the oppertionity to make it up to you. just hope that your not dealing with a spiteful person becaues then you just screwed

Answer 7

forgiveness is the act of consiously allowing ourselves to be free from hurt, anger and pain which we feel another has inflicted upon us (not always) each of us is destined to be hurt by others, sometimes knowingly, sometimes unconsiously...

she's ur sister, she understands. ur too kind to be so full of guilt.

Answer 8

do your best not to repeat what you done....time heals all wounds, and your sisters forgiveness is good enough....

Answer 9

well, i guess you gotta make it up someway, and realize why you did it and make sure you dont do it again.