Why do men cheat?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 9 months now...I know of a few times he has cheated on me...When we are together we have a lot of fun and Iove spending time with him..and it seems the same way on his end...Why is it when he leaves my sight it seems that everything goes out the window...Is it bad that I still love him a lot even though he has done this?

Answer 1

60% of males and 40% of females cheat.

I think it's not for the reasons people think. I believe there are a significant number of men and women that really are not cut out for monogamy. I know I'm not.

Unfortunately, the societal pressures for monogamy (or monoamory) are intense. I am polyamorous. I have the capacity to love more than one person at the same time. I don't cheat - i.e. I don't break the rules. If I'm interested in someone, my wife gets the meet the person and has the option of vetoing the relationship prior to it becoming highly emotional. My wife has my full permission to date (or more) anyone she wishes. My relationships are long term, or they attempt to be. They are based on love, sex isn't always involved.

I've run into many women that would be fine cheating with me, but cannot handle the idea that my wife would know and approve. It's a sad state of affairs (no pun intended), when social values would value dishonesty without violating accepted norms higher than honesty, but violation of socially accepted norms.

p.s. I've been married to my wife for 27 years. Happily.

Answer 2

Men that cheat have no integrity. No self respect.
if I felt I needed another woman , I would first break the current
relationship before starting another relationship.

Do not take his cheating on you personal. it is not you, it is him. and his foolishness because of his own unhappiness.
You are not responsible for his unhappiness.

Why do you love this guy, if he does not honor you with his actions?
maybe you don't really love him, but you just love the idea that you love him.

I think you should find another boyfriend that really just yearns for you.
Don't you deserve a boyfriend that only has eyes for you?

I would not treat my girl friend any other way. and expect the same from her. It's all about trust and integrity.
good luck

Answer 3

You already have the answer, great one.

Bear in mind, this thing "cheating" as it is called is not taught, though it often is validated -- but this is but due to the herd instinct kicking in and that other elixir, which is vanity !

"Cheating" does belong to a deep primordial nature and origin and therein was designed from a much greater reason for a much deeper purpose than what the modern world (or women)labels it to be.

There exists no override that anyone outside of a man can repeal but the man himself -- with one exception -- and get this and get this good: -- only true love can override this otherwise irrevocable nature in men. There exists no other exception.

Your mission, therefore, is to go and find out what you, yourself can do that avails you of this mighty truth. For it rests not with the man alone to solve this great riddle but with the woman as well.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with that at all because my boyfriend has never cheated on me but i feel the same way that you feel it be very nice when he is around but soon as he leaves out the door you wonder what he is doing at every single moment. I guess thats life because I love the hell out of my boyfriend and no one can change that no matter who he cheats with as long as you putting it on him baby girl he aint going no where and when he cheats he only seeing which girl gone do something you aint gonna do so dont trip over that

Answer 5

♥ i'm laughing at the 1st answer--
because the want to! But only a few do this and most are faithful.

--did i just hear,"most are faithful?" that's almost hilarious. n/e ways, wanting 2 cheat isn't a good enough reason 2. billions of people out there "want" 2 cheat, but they fight the temptation & being a man doesn't allow u 2 cheat just cuz ya felt like it. ♥

Answer 6

It's not bad that you still love him but it is bad that you're allowing him to continue this behavior. When you just deal with the times that he cheats on you never telling him that it's not acceptable, he's bound to just do it again and again.

I think that some men cheat because they think that the women that love them will just stick by their side anyway, in your case, this sounds true. My advice, get rid of the loser, you're too good for him anyway.

No one deserves that. Why should you love someone that doesn't love you back? Aren't you just setting yourself up to get hurt time and time again? This behavior will not stop until you tell him that it's not okay for him to treat you like that.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Hi,

Because he's getting something of value that he is driven to have out of doing it. He's not at the stage in his life yet to be with just one female. There are lots of women he hasn't experienced yet and he feels driven to...most men eventually get to a point where they are so attached to one woman that they are willing to avoid others in order to keep her, but he's not there...and the fact that he's cheating on you means that he will probably never be faithful to you. Men aren't naturally monogomous...but that doesn't mean you should tolerate anyone hanging around you that is lying, catting around, and generally dissing you. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

When people cheat it's sometimes because they are after something they're not getting out of the relationship.

Can you see things working out long term with this guy? You obviously can't trust him and his actions must really be hurting you. If you let him get away with it he's going to walk all over you and keep on doing it.

I think you should tell him that if he's going to keep seeing other girls then he can't see you. If he really does want to be with you then he'll quit cheating and if he doesn't then you're obviously supposed to be with someone else.

Hope it all works out for you.

Answer 9

and he will continue to do this because you have allowed him to do it by still being with him after the 2nd time i would of been gone i believe in giving someone another chance but more than once is too much. and its not that men cheat anymore than women do it just seems so because we are woman.you really need to move on to someone who respects you enough to stay true to you.

Answer 10

It's instinctual to "cheat," spreading the gene pool is healthy for the human race. But seriously, after 9 months if he really is dipping around, he's not serious about you in the long term.....