We are UK born but His parents are Nigerian, mine are Jamaican?

Question

I am involved with a guy whom I met whilst we were at uni. who I also love. I am 3 yrs older and have 2 children from a previous relationship. Due to geography and our own personal emotional issues which we are trying to resolve within ourselves we/ I decided (wrongly or rightly) that it'd be best to get together officially after a lot of personal development on both parts.
Anyway, all that aside its been mutually agreed that we have feelings that although we have tried, we can't ignore....BUT.. I have been wondering about the realities of this union. e.g the fact that both our sets of parents have preconceived ideas about the others culture and country of origin plus the whole single parent thing. Serious feedback, advice or similar situations will be greatly appreciated. I have previously submitted this question under relationships, however, although I was grateful for all reponses no one really understood.

If there are any objections please break them down, cheers!

I forgot to mention I am actually in my late twenties.

In addition, the father of my children is not an issue and we broke up 8years ago.

Answer 1

Love is blind and what others believe is their problem. Best of Luck to both of you.

Answer 2

I've kind of been there and have been married to my guy for 15 years
I'm English white he's Irish decent two cultures and as you know the English don't get on as well as they should with the Irish plus my dad was what I'd say a Victorian value kind of person

what ever you decide it's gonna be 100% right for you both

the two cultures and reserve ideas of both parents are nothing they don't lives your lives you two do.
after all both your parents and your partners came to UK right?
then they had to take on the UK culture
and you both only know this culture so regardless of your back grounds if it feels right then go for it

they will come round in the end
your folk wont wanna lose their little girl and his folk wont wanna lose their golden boy

after all that's how they see you

your a mum so you can understand this with your children

go with your heart on this as everything else will fall into place

Answer 3

I can understand your situation. I am the son of nigerian born parents, and I remember growing up there was always a feeling of animosity between nigerians and jamaicans. Although I must say that I believe that this was mostly between my parents generation. Most of my friends were west indian, and only one of my friends was nigerian, so I don't think that this animosity existed as much in the children of nigerian and jamaican immigrants.

I can honestly tell you that nigerian parents of today are much less old fashioned, and they are more welcoming to other cultures than they were in the past. I really dont know why there was such an ill-feeling between the two commuinities, but i'd say it is because we are both very similar, both quite loud, both boisterous, and sometimes both very arrogant.

Most nigerian parents would like their child to marry another nigerian, but are not too hung up over it anymore. My younger brother's current girlfriend of 2 years is of jamaican heritage, and my mother adores her. I myself have never been out with a nigerian girl, but I have been out with 2 jamaican girls, 1 trinidadian girl, and 1 chinese girl. My mother has gotten on with all of them.

I dont know how my father would have approved of the situation if he were still alive, but I'd like to think that he would have been as accepting as my mother.

I do think that you should be a bit worried about how your parents will accept him though. My first girlfriend's family loved me untill they found out that I was african, and then I felt that they thought i wasn't good enough for their daughter.

Unfortunately, I cant tell you how his parents will react to you already having 2 kids. I guess it just depends on the individuals.This could possibly be the main problem, and not the fact that you are jamaican. I dont think that they will be over the moon about it, but they should come around in time once they realise how much he is in love with you, and how serious he is.

At the end of the day it is his decision, not theirs. Nigerians are usually a traditional bunch, but they wont disown him. They aint as bad as Asian parents. GOOD LUCK. I HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT.

Answer 4

you probably did no longer somewhat say lots nonetheless you have an tremendously valid element approximately subculture and preconceptions which maximum folk won't understand different than they're Nigerian or Jamacian as properly because of the fact the only discern element. What precisely are you attempting to flow. Get married or what? whilst it somewhat is uncomplicated for human beings to assert get on with your existence and what concerns is love, actuality shows that it somewhat is oftentimes no longer so because of the fact the two Nigerians and Jamaicans nonetheless have those family participants ties. What I advise is that the two certainly one of you're taking a seat and talk this themes in view of your destiny plans which i'm guessing is to get hitched. As you're the two youthful, that is going to likely be important so you might no longer attempt to get hooked with out addressing those themes and then start to confront the problems later especially as you have 2 infants to boost. what ever it somewhat is you do, you do no longer desire any instabilities on your love existence affecting them via some potential. stumble on a fashion of regarding your families on your plans, meet them and get to be attentive to them to be sure in case you could accomodate them and vice versa. then you certainly would be attentive to if certainly you men can climate those 'storms'. each and all the terrific.

Answer 5

I cant really see what the problem is you are having. You love each other and that is the end of it, you make your own lives together. My father once told me that when you grow up and marry or be partners that is your new family not the ones you grew up with. If other people do not accept the new family then that is their problem. You cant live by your parents rules all your lives and just bow to their predjudices. You have a life to live with your new bf and that should be good enough for you both babe. I lost all my family because I went with a coloured person and I am white, what the **** I am happy. go for it and let them come to terms with it not you or your bf. good luck. babe hope you dont mind but I just wiped 2 answers because the were racist and I didnt like them.

Answer 6

Get the families together, individuals usually have preconceptions of one another simply because they do not know or understand each others cultures. I'll be honest, those two cultures are different but your families might find interesting things about one another, that may allow them to warm up to each other.
The children thing might be a big problem for his parents because Nigerians are big on "traditional" families and they may question your values (you have to be prepared for that and ask yourself if you want to deal with that, is he worth it).
Ultimately its your decision, just know your children may be affected by the outcome, especially if you and him plan on having children together.
I would tell you to follow your heart, but that won't help your situation. Instead do what is best for your children. Is it really the time to focus on a relationship?
Good Luck

Answer 7

Well i think that if you love him and he loves you then nothing and no-one should become between you. If you both feel that strong about eachother then take this further and get together regardless of what each of your parents think. Your both old enough to make right or wrong decisions in your lives. Its upto both of you what happens between you both in the future not your parents.

So go for it and best of luck to you both x

Answer 8

Nigeria ant jamaica loverly warm cunteries not colt ant foggy liek engelant, why yu not dere go?

Answer 9

you both show enough maturity to realize you need to resolve your own issues before coming together.
your parents should not be a factor in this relationship.
respect their opinions but i think when it comes to happiness you are the only one responsible to make it happen. talk to your parents about it in order for them to be comfortable about the situation.
if the man is willing to stay with you and your kids, more power to you. you only have one chance in life. live it!!

Answer 10

You are moving in a wrong path .Iam so sorry for you