Im finding it more and more difficult when i meet my inlaws. Every time we meet, if its at the shops, work, our home or their home.. i have to kiss and hug them on arrival and leaving. I dont do this with my own close family so im finding it hard to get out of this. I have tried asking them to stay away incase i catch a cold or for them to stay away incase they catch my pretend cold but they just keep on doing it....
What advice can you give to help me stop this...... I feel bad for feeling like this, but just cant stand it anymore....
my husband understands how i feel but doesnt know how to help me... they are his parents but doesnt want to cause a problem
2006-12-27 12:27:57 · 20 answers · asked by confused 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
just to add a little more info.. its the kissing on lips with male father/cousin/brother that does make it worse.. i can manage the huggs ....
2006-12-27 12:37:09 · update #1
Without going into too much detail I can understand alot of the point you have all raised but what if i were trying to avoid catching germs so that i didnt spread them onto a sick relative.. they do not know i have a sick relative and i dont want them to know yet... because that would just cause more huggs and lip kissing
2006-12-27 12:47:45 · update #2
I think maybe your husband needs to calmly explain things in a mature manner to his parents. If you are not even that comfortable with your own family there is no reason for them to expect you to be that way with theirs. They should be able to understand.
2006-12-27 12:34:44 · answer #1 · answered by Q&A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My family didn't hug or kiss when we would meet, but my Xes family did, and I came to realize that in order for me to show that I really missed them when I would see them what better way to show this than a hug and a kiss, and when they left, what if I never saw them again, what a better way to depart than a hug and a kiss. Now when I visit my family I hug them and kiss all of them when I get there and when I leave. Now I am not trying to change your way of doing things but I can see the other side as well. I just don't see how your husband can understand your problem when you yourself don't know what it is.
2006-12-27 12:39:46 · answer #2 · answered by bootjack 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I used to be like you,because my family were not very huggy kissy,i wasnt.
When i met my second husband and all his family were like this ,i had to do it too,
The upshot was ,my kids loved it because i was showing them some affection,and now we are like that too.
It has broken the stand offishness that was in the family before,and we are all much more affectionate with each other and we are teaching the little grandchildren its not wrong to be loving and warm,in fact quite the opposite,its lovely.
2006-12-27 12:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by Pat R 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have that issue sometimes too. I love my inlaws. I deal with it because a few seconds of akwardness is better than an hour of arguing with my husband later or trying to reassure my inlaws that I like them.
2006-12-27 12:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by jfoxie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same. I'm not a huggy/kissy person.. but I just go along with it because it's not a big deal. I think it's really our problem, not theirs.
Be grateful.. my husband's family is European and the hugs and kisses are always TWO TIMES.
lol.. yikes.
2006-12-27 12:31:27 · answer #5 · answered by mosaic 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
they are serious sickos - seriously, even at church I will NOT hug men or kiss them, I had this problem with a bloke at church he was married and I told his wife straight - I dont liek it and after that there was no problem again, id also say youre invading my personal body space - seriously, or you could just make a dash for the car and wind up the weindows and lock the door before they get to you -eeewww - these people arent normal - do they want you to have sex with them too, some families are jsut too close - shudder
2006-12-27 14:22:57 · answer #6 · answered by Mercy J 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
the answer is simple tell them that you dont want too do this anymore.yes you probasly will hurt there feelings but if your not used too this kind of tenderness from your inlaws family and find it either embrassing or inaproitate when out in public or everytime you see them them simply tell them too back off.but honestly its family its not a full blown snog in the street is it...it sounds like there just trying in there own way too show you that they care....
2006-12-27 14:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by mitch 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could have your husband explain the germ phobia that you have to his parents...I'm sure they will understand! There is nothing wrong with not wanting to touch people because of germs and such....You could also try taking extra vitamins to fight off the germs that cause colds if you are afraid of telling your husband's parents! Good luck!!!
2006-12-27 12:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't shower and wash for a while, eat garlic and don't brush your teeth. They'll soon stop hugging and kissing you, but then maybe so will your husband!! If he loves you, he will be able to handle a stinky wife!
2006-12-27 12:33:21 · answer #9 · answered by S 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are going to have to be honest with your inlaws about the kissing bit, You are lucky.I dont get hugs. I have to ask friends,
2006-12-27 20:36:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋