I got engaged a year ago, we were happy. Infatuation more than the love actuallly
she is nice, but she is really boring. and i dont really feel love for her.
It is common, liking somebody first and then finding them boring?
Any suggestions?
2006-12-27 12:17:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I see lot of people saying, i should tell her straight away how i feel. But i was thinking when the relatiosnhip is new then, there is lot of excitement but it fades later on. so it has probably faded. Like i had my prize, so maybe i wait for few more months and see?
2006-12-27 12:28:34 · update #1
Hello,
Bless your heart! You know it's better for you to see this issue now than to have already walked down the isle and come to that conclusion.
It's clear that you don't love her like you used to and I am wondering if you truly did dear. Listen I suggest that you talk to this lady openly and honestly. And while your doing this don't sugar coat your feelings.
The last thing you need to be doing is stringing her along when you know deep in your heart how you feel about her. Don't waste your time nor hers in what looks like a dead in relationship.
It's not uncommon for this to happen and might I add it's a good thing it's happening to you now before you said the I do's!
I suggest that you let her go and move on it's obvious she isn't your soulmate otherwise you wouldn't be bored stiff!
Also if all this boredness continues you might end up hurting her like cheating or hooking up with someone who is fun, compatiable and so forth to you. Now that doesn't mean that you would set out to hurt her, but dear sweet one these things happen.
So before that even comes into the picture decide :
1. Do you love her enough to marry her?
2. Can you continue to deal with being bored with her?
3. What can I do to change this if I don't want to leave her?
4. Should I just let her go?
Listen to your heart.
Best of luck.. I'm sure everything will work out.
2006-12-27 12:43:16 · answer #1 · answered by ssgtmommy01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I still think you should tell her as soon as possible. When the newness of the relationship fades there are other awesome things that come with time. If the excitement has faded but hasn't turned into something else meaningful, it probably never will. You will end up hurting a lot more people if you stay in a relationship you are unhappy with. Trust me.
2006-12-27 12:38:16 · answer #2 · answered by Q&A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not common but it does happen. You should first be honest with yourself. Sounds like you are. Now be honest with her. Do Not marry if you feel this marriage will not work. It is harder to divorce than to break up an engagement. That is why they have engagement time. To find out and be sure if you want to marry. Tell her exactly how you feel, but be gentle with her feelings. She should be able to keep the ring if she feels she wants too. Don't ask for it back. You gave it to her so it should be hers. But she could give it back if it cost alot of money so you can take it to the jewlers and get some money back. Next time don't get engaged so fast. Take more time to know your real feelings. Sorry this happened. Good luck.
2006-12-27 12:24:41 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens. You need to tell her that you just don't feel the same anymore. Don't marry someone if your not sure. Big mistake! If you find her boring and you have nothing in common, then you will not be happy with her.
2006-12-27 12:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by gypsygrl1973 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think and feel... and if you don't really want her to be the woman who will be beside you for the rest of your life, and you think she's not the one that "somebody that completes you" anymore then time to talk. Tell her... its the bravest thing you'll ever make. It will hurt her for sure, but atleast not forever. Its just fair for both of you...she will soon recover and shall find a better man for her...
2006-12-27 12:30:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I think you need to end the engagement. If you feel this way already, and you are not even married yet...imagine how you will feel once you are married. Maybe you need to just be in the relationship without any marital pressures.
2006-12-27 13:34:23 · answer #6 · answered by dmc81076 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont feel you love her anymore you should tell her. Would you rather leave her at the alter and scar her for life or live the rest of your life unhappy with the one who isnt right for you.
I wish you luck and I send my best wshes from my heart to yours.
2006-12-27 12:24:09 · answer #7 · answered by soccerqt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out before you ruin both your lives. Also first go to a personal counselor to see if you are okay, since this is a big decision.
2006-12-27 12:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by winter_new_hampshire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If you truly loved her in the beginning, she wouldn't be boring now.
Tell her your feelings have changed. Who wants to married to a boring wife? You???
2006-12-27 13:21:05 · answer #9 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even think about telling her.
You should marry some one who is boring to you and you are not in love with.
2006-12-27 12:21:48 · answer #10 · answered by Akshun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋