Why do I feel different about her, just because I found out that she is Jewish?

Question

I am 13, just so you know. So today in my voice lesson, my singing teacher asked me how my vacation was. She is a Russian woman who is 39, and has a 17 year old daughter and is married. I told her what I did for Christmas and such, and asked her what she did. I am Russian, too, but Russian Orthodox. She said, "Well, we did not do much because we are Jewish and we don't celebrate Christmas." And then she told me how she celebrates Jewish holidays and such. All this time I thought she was Russian Orthodox like me. But she's not. I'm not anti-semetic in any way. My parents raised me to be a true Liberal, Democratic, Left-winged, Blue-blooded Russian born American. So, why do I feel differently about her? She doesn't even feel like the same person to me anymore.

It's not that I don't like her anymore. It's just that I don't feel the same way about her. I don't know about that in a good or bad way.

Answer 1

You feel different because part of the relationship you had with her before you knew her religion was based on a misconception. Don't stress out, just be aware that you were more comfortable with her when you thought she was more similar to you, and now you realise that there is another difference. Challenge your perceptions. Think about what you feel. What, if anything, has really changed in your relationship? Are you both still who you were before?

(and ignore all the people who are calling you an Anti-Semite, you need to think this through yourself, it's about feelings not religion)

Answer 2

Sounds as if your parents failed. You may have been raised a left winged blue blooded Russian liberal American Democrat but in reality some where a long the line you found out that people like you are not as good as you.

You are just a little kid, since you see this now you can change. Hating someone takes so much out of a person it just is not worth it. Who knows when you grow up the man you fall in love with and marry maybe one that at this point and time in your life you would never even consider being with....

Talk this over with your parents, ask them for help.

Answer 3

You have a problem with Jews. It makes a difference to YOU. When you thought she was like you, you were fine. Now that the very same person, whom you liked, is Jewish, now all of a sudden you don't like her. You feel that there is something very wrong and unforgivable about being Jewish. So it is no strange thing that you feel the way you do. It does conflict with what you think you believe. But there it is. If you really were as you believe you are, then her announcement that she is a Jew would make no difference to you. It does; you are not the liberal democrat you believe yourself to be. It is that simple.

Answer 4

That's a great question.
I would agree with the Pixie person.
Stereotypes are not bad by nature. We use them all the time and most of the time they work well. They save us cognitive time and space. We would be unable to function without stereotypes. True, there are negative stereotypes, but it strikes me that you aren't thinking poorly of her because of her Jewish faith.
Instead, it seems that you threw her into a stereotype that you have (which is what we do as people) and now she has broken out of that stereotype. Having spent time with her and most likely looking up to her (she is your teacher)-- your image of her has changed. Not necessarily for the worse, but it has changed. That's significant.
I would not worry about it too much. In a couple weeks your relationship will most likely return to normal.

Answer 5

You must evaluate your own feelings towards Jewish people and Jewish culture. And work on becoming a Red-Blooded Conservative.

Answer 6

I dont know why you would feel different you should not suspect anything when it comes to peoples religion I dont think this should change the way you feel unless u r a little biast it sounds like

Answer 7

you were born like that