Should a soldier marry?

Question

A friend of mine ships out in a couple of weeks. He thinks he should propose to his girlfirend of 2 years before that. I think he feels it'll help 'keep' her, you know.? He's asked my thought on the matter and I've been kinda vague, the reason being that every miltary wife I've ever know has been unfaithful while hubby was away. I don't want to tell him this and depress him, though I think he knows somewhat. A soldier in a faraway place wants to feel like he has something waiting for him at home, a goal to get back to, etc. I can't in good conscience tell him to go for it, so should I just be non-commital about it like I have been?

*ssgtmommy01*

-Didn't mean to smear all military families. I have great respect for those that support the guys in the field faithfully. Bless you. No, I'm DEFINITELY not interested in her, Yes, they are 19 and 22 yrs old. 'Love' at that age doesn't mean the same thing as love at 30 or 35. Your advice goes against what many ahve said here, but you're in that situation so your words carry more weight.
God Bless.

Answer 1

Hello,

I am a Proud Marine Wife and NOT ALL military wives cheat. Grant it those that are young and still wet beind the ears fall into a whole different catergory.

I suggest that you continue to stand down on telling your friend just crap as all the military wives YOU"VE known cheat. His girlfriend isn't all or everyone.

You should tell him that it's his choice and wish him good luck. Yes military men are brothers and the wives are sisters. While your at it if you wish to tell him this crap I suggest that you also tell him that there are a lot of military men who cheat while away from the wives.

Now if you want to debate me on this I'd welcome it... You see it's called trust and a good foundation. How do you know that this girl want be and give him something to look forward coming back home too? How do you know that she want send him loving care packages? How do you know that she want be lets say one of the best KV's helping and getting things prepared for when the unit comes home? YOU DON"T..

Do yourself a favor and allow your friend to make his own choice without your input. Sounds like you might be interested in this girl yourself.. might that be a key factor?

"So should I just be non-commital about it like I have been?"
Yes you should stay out!

Follow the don't ask don't tell rule!

Answer 2

When I joined and when to OBC, I knew that, as a single man, I'd constantly be deployed around the world. So far, I've been right, and it's been EXTREMELY hard to build new associations. However, my parents remained true while my father served 24 years active duty, including combat and other TDY.

I know you've been trying to be supportive, but good friends also put things in perspective. Tell your friend what you feel and why you feel that way. I have a few good friends I still count on that way.

Answer 3

Having a loved one back home gives a soldier a goal.Something to focus on. Having children would be selfish because of the risks of getting killed. Children would miss their dads too much.There was a recent report about military children. Yes I do not think that soldiers should marry at all.

Answer 4

you friend is looking for advice, I can see what you mean about how they want to feel that they have something waiting for them etc. Although, I am sure he is not naive to all the cheating. Let him knwo that a proposal will not help "keep" her, I think in this honesty is the best advice you can give him. Let him know that it doesnt matter if he proposes or not, and let him know how you feel about it. Even though this may hurt him he needs to know the truth.

Answer 5

well i am a soilder myself and i think that what ur friend is asking is for ur help. he needs u to help him decide if she is the one for him and if she will be faithful, but that is were u come in, not saying watch every move she makes but remind her why she loves him and what he is doing for her. as a soilder he will come and go and she will feel like he is leaving her but she needs to realize that this was the sacrafice that they both made, u are in the right not telling him but also in the wrong cause he needs ur support in this loving manner. although i would tell him go 4 it, and make the best of it. u prob think that this would just not work and that what u need to tell him, just remember that u are his friend and all he did was ask u what should he do, ur opinion matters and thats what he wants. good luck and best for u and ur friend....... United States Air force A1C Tayfel

Answer 6

If he ask her to marry him...its not going to "keep" her.I guess if they really love each other...they could do it.My brother went into the war and he proposed to his girlfriend,it did the farthest thing from "keeping" her.She ended up cheating on him and getting engaged to another man,while she was still engaged with my brother.Only she didn't tell the other guy.If your friend really wants to marry his girlfriend,maybe he should wait to propose until he gets back.

Answer 7

you may get in hardship in case you're in an analogous unit and there's a difference in rank. they are able to sorting out once you positioned up the place of work work to get BAH. For BAH the Sr one does no longer get it for dependents till there is toddlers in contact. you could the two get BAH w/o dependents in case you're no longer residing in barracks and eligible for it.

Answer 8

No I don't think marrying someone to keep someone from going astray is a good idea. It sounds possessive.

Answer 9

I think marrying is okay, but, under the current circumstances, having children would be extremely selfish.

Answer 10

You are right, she may or may not be faithful, but you cant make that judgement for positive. He may or may not be ready for that comitment also. I think he needs to decide this on his own. Good luck tho!