I have been married for 12 years and always thought my marriage was good until a couple of months ago. Up until then I thought I was Mr. Dad, coaching my childs sport teams, helping out her family and so on. I guess somewhere down the line I started neglecting my wife and although we have been working on our marriage and doing better, I still can not make love to my wife without thinking of the other guy.
I guess the reason is, when I found out about my wifes infedellity it was by mere chance. I was looking in her cell phone at some photos and that when I found nude pictures that the other man sent her.
Well let me get to the point, this man was much more endowed than I am and I can't help but think she is not enjoying sex with me as much as she did with him beside the fact that when we are intimate I feel I can't give her what she wants.
2006-12-27 11:49:33 · 25 answers · asked by Caliman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its not your body that she was craving-it was the intimacy and closeness. She didn't choose the other guy because of his endowments- it was because he was a warm body and probably paid attention to her. Take it from me bigger is not always better.
2006-12-27 11:53:13 · answer #1 · answered by heatherhedyjon 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Endowment issues are common with guys, and I'm sure it's especially hard for you given an infidelity issue also. If I were you, I would confront my wife about it and talk with her about that very thing - endowment. We may have tough exteriors, but we're sensitive sorts inside. It's a tough issue to break your mind of when it becomes an issue, and the best thing you can do for yourself , and your wife, is get her honest feedback on the subject matter. There's plenty more to consider in sex than mere size issue, and you may be surprised to find she prefers you to the other guy no matter what. But you won't know until you ask her and you two talk about it. If you still have trouble keeping things up after, try some viagra. Seriously, it can only help boost your confidence getting back into the right swing of things with her. And maybe try a few new things (new approaches to the lovemaking), a little diversity always serves to better bond sexual relations.
Good Luck.
2006-12-27 12:24:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you discussed this with your wife? Is the affair over? Unless you've talked things out everything will remain the same. Find out what she wants sexually and fill her needs. No matter how well-endowed this guy is that doesn't substitute for a loving relationship. She needs to restore your confidence and that's only possible if she wants to make the marriage work. If not, move on!
2006-12-27 11:58:44 · answer #3 · answered by Johann 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women do not cheat to have their sexual desires met no matter what the books or anyone tells you.
Women (people) generally cheat to escape reality, to become a person they cannot be in reality.
I can't speak for your wife but sexual satisfaction is much better for me with a man who loves me (my husband). He knows my body best, my inhibitions are fewer, he understands what pleases me and I'm not afraid to ask for what I want. The best of all things happen in bed with people who love, respect and admire one another. Sex for sex sake is basically just a show.
Just because this man had a little more down south than you does not mean that your wife was any happier or even as happy with him sexually. If her relationship with him is still between you then that is an issue that must be addressed.
Time does not heal all. Time well spent might. She needs to earn your trust. It does not need to be given back freely. Have an open and frank discussion about what happened between them only if you can take what you may hear. Then use what you find out and let go.
If you find you cannot let go do remember that it's much better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else.
Good luck to you my friend and do be easy on yourself. I'll be thinking gently of you.
2006-12-27 12:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by outdone 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
your wife is the one that needs help not you ..... if she can't be honest with you and tell you what she was unfaithful for then she does not deserve you ...... if all she wants is someone hung like king Kong then her value system is way out of line with getting married...... there are sex toys that are far and away bigger than any guy will ever be.... get her one and tell her she can sing to it for all you care but that she can either keep it at home or don't let the door hit her in the *** as she leaves if she can't talk with you about everything then you don't have much of a marriage to work on. the old song it ain't the meat its the motion comes to mind.
2006-12-27 11:57:12 · answer #5 · answered by doc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Bro,don't be so hard on ytourself...First off you have to stop thinking of the other guy...Second,your looking at this as a compition,its not...I know it is tough but you really have to decide if this marriage is worth saving...If it is, then put it all behind you.If not,then you have to seek out a lawyer...I hope you can keep it together, sometimes people are weak and fall for something they think they need at the time...Forget the other guy and focus on the marriage....Good Luck
2006-12-27 11:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by Frank D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not about the sex. Talk to your wife, get into counseling. Cancel that cell phone number and that guy has to hit the road. Did you know that 40% of people in the US have genital herpes and that it can be spread even while they are asymptomatic? Not to mention other diseases. She's really forcing you to risk your own health while she parties around on you. Is she worth it?
2016-03-28 21:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The size of your pr!ck should probably be the least of your worries. You've got more important emotional issues to deal with.
The sex stuff can be fixed with any number of books or videos to teach an old dog new tricks. Better to focus on and be sure why she strayed in the first place. If you don't fix that, it will happen again. Of course she is a b*tch for not talking to you about it first before spreading for some other guy!
2006-12-27 11:57:08 · answer #8 · answered by mr_slacker70 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
This is probably one of the most difficult things in a relationship: coping after a lover cheats. I really don't know an answer, though I'm surprised you're staying with her. I wouldn't. Not only because of the lack of confidence, but the lack in trust, and the constant paranoia that she would be cheating on me or judging me. I'm sorry if this isnt' what you want to hear, but it would be really difficult to gain confidence after your wife has degraded you by throwing you aside and being with someone else.
2006-12-27 11:52:54 · answer #9 · answered by Scarlet 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First unless it was naked guy corking your wife, it is probably not and indication of her infidelity, but just a naked guy. Secondly, it is really true that it is not what you have, but what you can do with what you have. I have given women orgasms by using nothing more than my hands without every touching their genitals. Foreplay accounts for a lot. You can stimulate them through their boobs, and their lips, and their tongue. The key is to keep going and watch for changes in their behavior to see what they like. If they like it you keep going and going and going, even if you are bored. Once they get their cookies then it is your turn to get yours and I know you only need about 2 minutes. If bothers you that much, you can always get a penis job and get a 12 incher or something.
2006-12-27 12:00:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
well thats obvious thats why she went somewhere else...your a stronger man then i was i caught my wife cheating and had divorce papers 1 week later and took her to the cleaners...tossed her out with nothing but the clothes on her back
2006-12-27 11:53:39 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋