I have a 10 month old who you can seriouly call a mamas boy. Hes so attached to me. I have to be holding him all the time. He cries when i leave him in the living room and i go to the kitchen or anyother room. I just need a break!!! how can I help him to be by himself more independent without crying his lugs out!!!
2006-12-27 11:44:52 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Its hard, but in a few more months, when he is able to walk, he will become more independant. My son is almost 4 now, he used to be like that until he was 2...now he is a Daddy's boy, enjoy it while you can!
2006-12-27 11:53:38 · answer #1 · answered by sunnysideup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal, to start creating a little separation, make it into a game. you can't just jumpt straight into leaving him alone. Put him on the floor, and play peek-a-boo a few times, then pick him back up. After a while, you can leave him there longer. Set him near the door, get on the floor and peek around the door at him. He's already used to peek-a-boo, and this will be a good way to stretch those independence muscles!
Just carry him room to room, with a blankie that is his. If you need to do a task, you can play a little bit of games with him, then work about five minutes and then play again.
This is parenting, what we signed up for when we got the baby. It wasn't spelled out in the contract, unfortunately, but before you know it, you'll be going crazy because they never talk to you. Just do what you need to do to keep him happy, and work on those little separations for a while. It'll happen, it might take a year or two though, unless you can have a friend over to help.
2006-12-27 13:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh. I feel your pain. Are you alone or can you get some help. Does he participate in social activites during the day or is he homebound? You need to do a couple of things for your own sanity. First you need to call a friend and ask her to come over. Then you need to leave the room and let the friend handle him. Assure him that you'll be right back and increase the length of time you are away gradually. Crying sucks, but in a way you are providing him with all the attention he needs. It's what he knows...if he crys, mommy will come running. You need to start breaking that cycle and it's a *****. The guilt is major, but your doctor can tell you how to make it a more simple, less painful (to you) process.
You should attempt to get him into a play group with other kids. Even for 20 minutes, if he can see you, but has other things that will hold his interest, you will start to get the relief you need. When my daughter had colic, I found that I had to get out because I could feel the stress building and I didn't want to do something I'd later regret just because I was stressed. Get your support systems in place and contact your local library to see if they have programs for infants - they are usually free or a very nominal feel.
Good luck. Slow, short steps and your son be less clingy.
2006-12-27 11:55:40 · answer #3 · answered by Allison S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I had the answer to this, I would be a rich woman :D I have 3 boys...all 3 momma's boys too. The only thing that ever worked for me was time...they will grow out of the clingy phase but will always be momma's boys.
The only things I can think of are: short time outs (for you too!) in his crib, asking a friend to babysit, having bf/hubby take a shift while you enjoy shopping (even just window shopping), a bath, etc. It will take time for your little one to adjust.
Good luck!
2006-12-27 11:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by breakfromthekids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 month old babies aren't independent. My son was the SAME way! What he's displaying is a normal phase... it's called "separation anxiety" and it's actually a GOOD thing... because it shows that he's healthfully attached to his mother. Maybe you should buy a book on infant/childhood development. I know it's tiring... but it's normal.
2006-12-27 12:21:03 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a stage he is going through. At appropriate times leave him alone for a few minutes in his play pen. He needs to know that you will not always be at his immediate beck and call. He might cry at first but he will begin to understand. Just explain to him you are going to the other room to... and that you will be back in a few minutes. Give him a toy to play with. They understand a lot more than we give them credit for. Good luck!
2006-12-27 11:50:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My son was the same way for many years. He is now 12 and too cool to love on his mom and just hang out. My suggestion is to cherish it while you have it. I know it is tiresome but someday you will miss him wanting and needing you so much.
2006-12-27 11:48:14 · answer #7 · answered by Kristin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be tough and let his father hold him say for small amounts of time until he gets used to being held by other people.
2006-12-27 11:49:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's no choice I know what you mean, But to leave him cry and start punishing him just say ( I need to do somthing) or like I need to beat up the monsters! They always fall for that :)
2006-12-27 11:53:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Instead of holding him. put him down and let him be in the same room with you .
Talk to him. he is only 10months but babies understand certain
things if he is told enough/talked too.
2006-12-27 11:51:22 · answer #10 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋