My best friend recently moved in with me... becuz she was having problems at home... I have a car and apartment.. but she doesnt have a car... also she doesnt pay any bills--- I guess to save up for a car.. I have to drive back and forth to pick her up alot plus she rarely gives me gas... But the other day she gave her mom 300 dollars??? whats that all about.. am I not being understanding?? what should I do??
2006-12-27 11:02:51 · 16 answers · asked by Renee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Oh no. She isn't seeing the overhead she is costing you. You need to confront her. The following is a confrontation method:
1. Affirm the relationship - Best friends?
2. Discuss issue - Cost of living, her share.
3. Discuss how the issue is effecting you - Incurring her expense
4. Discuss resolve - New cost of living, her share. I also suggest getting her a bus pass as a gift.
4. Discuss the new resolve beginning immediately 0 No confusion.
5. Reconfirm relationship - Still friends.
If she is unwilling to sit through a mature conversation, then she probably needs to move back home and grow up.
2006-12-27 11:10:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well eveyone has reasons for things and giving her mom 300 dollars is a good thing because that is her mom but at the same time I understand where you are coming from with that. Just sit down and talk to her don't be to mean about it because if she came form a messed up home then being mean will make her even more upset and that is not cool! just ask her i she could get a job and help with gas and bills! but if you can't do it then just deal with it and if she is truely a friend she will see that you are in need and will help out without you even askin!
2006-12-27 19:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by brownsugacookie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a talk with your friend. She is using you, although to be honest she might not realize it. If you agreed to let her move in and this is the first time she has lived away from home, she might not realize that there are expectations attached to her living with you. I have met pleeeeennnnttty of people who would not give that situation a second thought if they were the friend, and it is not intentional - it is a lack of life experience. You need to talk to her very nicely and explain that you were happy to help her out for a short time, but if she plans to continue to live there, then the two of you need to plan how she can contribute financially. Note here - she might get angry, and this might cost you a friend. But if you don't say anything, it is going to get worse, and you will DEFINITELY lose a friend. I know this has probably been a disappointment to you - it is sad when friends act this way.
2006-12-27 19:14:32 · answer #3 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just using you, don't let her take advantage of you! Next time she asks, say that you won't except this and if I'm going to be driving you around, you should at least give me gas money. Bring up the subject of her giving her mother 300 dollars. Ask her why she can't even afford to give you gas money but she can give her mother 300 dollars.
2006-12-27 19:26:41 · answer #4 · answered by The Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love my best friend and I think she would be great to live with but your situation sounds a lot like you are being used. I know that it would be so hard to do but you should talk to her about it. I think it sounds awful fishy that she gave her mom 300 dollars and then she doesn't pay any bills to you. Talk to her about it and you might get some answers. Good luck to you on that.
2006-12-27 19:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by brown eyed girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should ask her if she can pay half of the bills because she is living with you and to give you like 25 dollars for gas because you have places to go and people to see. And she is asking you to take her places and you have to not plan anything when she has to work and go places because then she is going to ask you to go somewhere else. You are being understanding because you are letting her live with you. If you weren't undertanding then you wouldn't let her live with you. You are a wonderful friend. Just ask her and see where it will take you. Does she tell you thanks when you give her rides.
2006-12-27 19:15:31 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just have a sit down and tell her how u feel. if she is a true friend she will understand, and see if u guys cant come up with some kind of an agreement. there has to be a way that she can help out and still save money, Good Luck
2006-12-27 21:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by solaciouscrumb9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Give her a chance to offer to pay some gas or rent, or ask her to find another place to live. You can't be financially responsbile for her. You have to be honest with her.
2006-12-27 19:07:21 · answer #8 · answered by waney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Did she give her mom the money to bank for her to buy a car?
2006-12-27 19:14:42 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to her. If you think about it, all the money is coming from your pocket anyways. If she's a good enough friend she'll understand that you dont can't pay for everything. No one like moochers.
2006-12-27 19:07:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋