she is getting very depressed due to daddy drinking and i can not get him to quit of his own will...he had a heart attack 3 months ago, and the doctor told him he could not drink with his meds...today is our 15th anniversary, and i hope that we can make many more.....any ideas?
2006-12-27 11:02:14 · 13 answers · asked by dyciane 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm 42 - I don't drink alcohol anymore - I quit in Jan.'99 (cold turkey) I drink non-alcoholic beer & non-alcoholic wine now. What can I say, alcohol or not, I like the stuff!! Sound's lame, but it's better than the dark spiralling road I was on starting from what, 16 year's old? It was beyond hard - I'm still critical to this day of how people treat non-drinkers(you're damned if you do & damned if you don't). You'd be surprised how dependant society is on alcohol, when you're on my side of the fence. Anyhow - don't nag your husband - my parents are still at it today, in their 70's - she'll never learn & he'll never quit. Don't make the same mistake and have your (no longer) child go through hell like I did, & consequently develop all kinds of social problems that will haunt her for the rest of her life!! I'm telling you man - you'll literally want to die if one day you'll see how truely devastating this can be on your baby girl - don't go there. Hug your wife & daughter, tell them you love them & try out the boozeless stuff - It's like water at first, but it grows on ya... Miss, have your husband read this if you can - and give him the support he needs to do this (but don't push!!)...btw - I don't believe in a higher power ,& can be a bit too shy for groups, therefore avoided places like AA & the like. But I don't what your husband is like - he may have to seek a 3rd party (maybe too ashamed in front of you & your daughter). That's up to him (you , my fellow lush if you're reading this) to figure out.
2006-12-27 11:33:45 · answer #1 · answered by The one with a tail... 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most people drink for a reason...sit down and talk to him about why he want to drink so much. Maybe it is something that you can help him with. Communication openly is a must for a healthy relationship. Does he know how your daughter feels???
If he is only having a few drinks no big deal...but if he is having several and it is changing his personality for the negative than it is a problem. If things are really severe you should leave him and get your daughter out of that situation.
2006-12-27 11:22:15 · answer #2 · answered by ~*SuMmEr*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being codependent. You need to call Al anon and get some help for yourself. You husband must decide on his own to quit drinking nothing or nobody will make him decide this. He needs to hit what alcoholics call their bottoms. This usually happens when family member have had enough of the drinkers behaviour and let them know they will no longer cover up for them and that they are on their own. Al anon and alateen will help you and your daughter understand the dynamics of alcoholism and what you both can do to deal with this disease. The trouble with alcoholism is that it affects the entire family not just the person drinking. I sense that you love this man but you really need to know that you can't do anything more for him. If a doctor has already told him this could be the end of his life then the ball is basically in his court and he has to choose whether he wants to live or die. Good luck to you and I can certainly understand the pain and frustration you must be experiencing.
2006-12-27 11:17:23 · answer #3 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
in basic terms Ask Her approximately It, enable her understand you're There For Her... in case you're Strict she would be able to insurrection. determine She Takes all of the Neccessary Precautions And issues (beginning administration, condoms ect) And in basic terms journey It Out wish This enables :) Oh And If She reveals Out Her Texts And Diaries have been study she would be able to get Mad And Lash Out as though She Is Being A being concerned be sure that's An Invaision On privateness Clo & Millie :D:D:D
2016-10-19 01:37:04 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I know what you mean. I was the daughter that wanted my dad to quit. I grew up around achool. My dad to this day drinks very heavily. I hate to say that nothing will work.
My Mom left my Dad because she could not handle it anymore. MY Dad then got him drinking buddy. I worry to this day about him. They don't eat like they should. It is a horrible situation. I am sorry that you and you're daughter have to go thru this.
I was really hoping that my Dad would stop when the Grand kids came along so he could watch them grow up. He has clammed down but won't quit.
I hope that maybe one day you're husband will quite... For you and you're daughter's sake.
Oh Yeah.........HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
2006-12-27 11:21:10 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Getz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until your husband admits he has an addiction and wants to seek recovery for himself he is not going to stop. Maybe you need to use a little tough love on him. If he is not willing to go into rehab and counseling, then separate for awhile. You and your daugther go live by yourselves for awhile and get both you and her into counseling so that you both know that this is his illness, his addiction and neither one of you are responsible for his actions. He is a grown man and needs to make his own choices. He just may need a little rude awakening to life without the two of you to do it. No matter what you may think if you continue to stay with him the way he is you are only enabling him to continue to be an alcoholic. By doing nothing you are telling him that he can continue in this lifestyle and there will be no negative consequences as far as you and his daugther are concerned.
2006-12-27 11:25:01 · answer #6 · answered by Sally B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your daughter should confront him on it. First, Does he recognize that there is problem. If so then that is a good 1st step. If there other family members near by, then I would suggest a family intervention. After that I would contact a professional in the field of dealing with alcoholism, NOT recovery groups such as A.A.
2006-12-27 11:21:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sincerest answer is that YOU can not get him to stop only he can stop because he wants to. My best advice is to set parameters around his drinking. No driving your daughter is easy. But how about- please do not drink in front of our daughter. Lastly- appeal to his "fatherly instincts" and ask- do you want your daughter to admire you as I know you or as your version of homer Simpson. Even Homer stopped for 30 days for Lisa. Good luck
2006-12-27 11:24:52 · answer #8 · answered by just helping 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counselling and praying is the option. I know it is a very hard task to get them to go to the counsellor.. but give it a try. Try as a family counselling and that will have a better impact as it will not make him feel that he is being victimized.
2006-12-27 11:13:35 · answer #9 · answered by SP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have the answer in your mind and are just wanting a confirmation. If he drinks and does no harm but only to himself then let it be but if he drinks and gets drunk then the answer is in your soul
2006-12-27 11:34:21 · answer #10 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋