I have been married for 7 years and my marriage has not been the same for the past 2 1/2 years... We are more like roommates than we are husband and wife..I have a good husband but he never wants to spend time with me...He constantly watches sports, never home and never really talks to me..I have told him how I feel and he still does not try to change in any kind of way...I am lonely and we spend no time together what so ever.....We are not even intimate but maybe twice a year..Does anyone have any advice???
2006-12-27 10:44:35 · 43 answers · asked by Cidne T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It takes two to tango, Sweetie.
2006-12-27 10:48:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Been there, done this. Actually filed for divorce and served him the papers myself, hardest thing I ever did, not knowing what else to do, after months of telling him how I felt. It was the extreme, but was the wake-up call he needed I guess. HE finally wanted to go to counseling, so we did. The counselors were great at getting us to actually communicate again, not just talk.
They recommended the book HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS, which brought a major marriage change around within weeks. I Highly Recommend it!!!
ALSO: Focus on the positive. In marriage, sometimes, when things start going south, you tend to dwell on the negative, and you start using words like he ALWAYS this, or he NEVER that...
Focus on the positive, even if all you can find is one thing. If you are forever focusing on everything he doesn't do right, you won't even notice what he does do so wonderfully. Remember those character traits that attracted you to him in the first place? If you look, I am sure at least one of them, if not more, are still there. =o)
Remember that your body changes in taste every 7 years. You might have an allergy that you never had before, or all of the sudden you hate chocolate... I know, crazy, but it happens....
2006-12-27 11:45:55 · answer #2 · answered by Heather G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something new!!! Change your looks, try things you have never tried before, go on a little vacation, go on a picnic and talk! If you need help in opening up, play a game that will get you both to be open and intimate
In the bedroom:
Lots of foreplay, use toys and experiment, guys love using toys on a woman, thats the fun of sex is experimenting, and be open to new ideas, you may think it's something you won't like, but in the end it may surprise you.
Try all variations and see what stimulates you most.
You need to be creative to avoid sexual boredom. Try a new location, rent a hotel room, experiment with new positions, buy new lingerie, rent a sexy video, try a hot bath, candles and a massage. Cast your inhibitions to the wind. And then get busy!
And if that doesn't work have a good guy friend call and leave you a saucy message for the hubby to overhear, that will perk up his interest!
2006-12-27 10:49:14 · answer #3 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same spot and I left. It has been a year and a half now since I left and I have never regreated anything more in my life. After going to counseling I have figured out that i still love my husband and the reasons I left were all things we could have worked out with a little help. Go and see a counselor. If your husband won't go with you go alone. The insight you will gain will help you make the right decision. Dig deep into yourself and find the correct answer, don't listen to friends or this forum, figure out what you want and be sure of it. It is a lonely world out here.
2006-12-27 11:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by strider 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First are you still in love with him. Do you want this marriage to work? If Yes then maybe you should try to look good all the time. Some women have the tendency to let themselves go once they get married. I think it's important to keep that which attracted your husband to you. Keep him on his toes all the time. Do you still look as good as the first weeks or months of your relationship (i do not mean age wise).Spice up your marriage with new things.
I have never let myself go since i have been married.My mother told me there women out there who are always ready to take my husband. I always eat well to maintain my figure. I love it when other men compliment me in front of my husband, actually men tell my husband "you are a Lucky man" that always keeps my husband wanting me. My Husband thinks i can have another him in a minute though i do not think so, but i like it when he thinks so.
Maybe your husband is having an affair if he's never home.
2006-12-27 11:19:29 · answer #5 · answered by Life is FUn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O
2015-01-28 12:50:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when we communicate the message gets lost. Never, ever sound accusatory but tell him that you love him, that he is a good husband but that you feel that you are drifting apart and want to rekindle what you had. Oftentimes actions speak louder than words. Make a date and tell him to meet you there, initiate sex, do something different and exciting. Don't expect it to all come from him.
You say that he has not tried to change. What about you? Is there something that you could be doing? It takes two to make a marriage work just as it takes two to make it slide.
2006-12-27 11:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason a husband doesn't want to spend time with his wife. Try to figure out what that reason is and see if things can change. It is very likely that you'll need some help because the reason will probably be a "hot button" one and there will be pain involved in exposing it.
2006-12-27 10:50:07 · answer #8 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say that you've already expressed your feelings to your husband and he still hasn't changed? I think it's time that you take it to the next level: Marriage counseling. He may not tell you what's up with him when you two are alone, but I guarantee it will come out during counseling. You may end up hearing something that you don't want to hear, but at least you won't be left out in the dark anymore. And please don't take the advice about leaving your husband from someone who still has theirs!
Signed: The Overweight Lover
2006-12-27 11:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by Grrr! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow.....thats bad. Yep I think you should leave him....you have tried to talk to him about how you feel but he obviously doesn't care....move on...you deserve better.
What more can you do other than be miserable the rest of your life. You don't deserve that kinda life...no one does...he probably is already detached from the relationship.
My husband and I are best friends and we hang out and talk about everything. We have a healthy sex life and we have been together for 5 years and married for 4.
If you need to talk email me or contact me via yahoo 360...
2006-12-27 11:06:28 · answer #10 · answered by ~*SuMmEr*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to +
go back to the point to where things changed.... major event, affair, job...etc...
Evaluate yourself too. It takes two to make a marriage work, divorce may sound easy but finding another mate that whats to be with you through the thick and thin just not for free sex maybe harder than you think...work on the marriage
2006-12-27 10:53:46 · answer #11 · answered by juicefsga 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋