49 years old and no one supports my decision to get pregnant?

Question

I am 49 years old and have one child with my 1st husband, my son is now 26 years old.

I am getting married to a wonderful man who is 57 and hasn't met the right woman to marry and have children with.

We want to have our own biological child, but my family is not supporting our decision.

At Christmas my son and daughter-in-law announced they are expecting their first baby. I am happy for them, but we want a baby too.


Is it too late for me especially now that I am going to be a grandma?

Answer 1

yes it is too late, stop being so selfish and think of others

Answer 2

Yes it is too late and it has nothing to do with being a grandma. It has to do with being 49 and 57. By the time the child is 10 and playing sports, your husband will be 67 and perhaps unable to participate/support the kid.

At 13 the child will have a father who will be 70 and a mom who is 62. A 13 yr old should not have to face the burdens he will with parents that age. When the kid is 16 and learning to drive, his father will be 73 and may not be able to drive anymore. His mom will be 65.

When the child is 21 and just starting his adult life he may find himself responsible for/the caretaker of a 78 yr old dad and a 70 year old mom. Instead of dating and getting married and thinking about buying a house, he'll be preoccupied with YOUR care.

You won't be able to help him with any of the young adult hurdles he'll be facing....

It is not fair to a child to have him at this late date----children were meant to be born to younger people so they would have a chance to grow up before parents and children swapped roles and the kids had to start caring for the parents.

I am very sorry to write this---and I know many will disagree and say "go for it"--- but just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you should.

Answer 3

The older you are when you give birth, the greater risk you run of having a child with health problems and/or birth defects. Guys can have kids up until the day the die. Their bodies continually produces new sperm. Not women though. Women have a certain number of eggs, and never produce more. The older the egg, the more likely the genetic material has become flawed. If you deciede to have children this late in life (and not adopt), be sure and talk with your doctor about the potential risks. In the end it is your decision. There is nothing wrong with having a grandchild and a child of the same age.

Answer 4

No, of course it is not too late, we live longer and longer these days.
Sometimes you have to do what you know is right in your heart no matter what.
I know you always want to please those who are really close to you and you hope for their support and understanding. Sometimes they are just not equipped to give it and sometimes they come around (you must forgive them - they are young).
It sounds like you and your partner are at a time and place in your life where you have a great deal to offer a child. You will be loving and kind parents. You have so much experience and patience to give that perhaps you did not have with your first. With age comes wisdom they say. Don't let anything stop you if you truly want another baby!!! Good Luck to you guys and may your family "see the light!!!!"

Answer 5

Sure! Only in america thus far! She's not a male she still has all her female elements.I simply surprise how so much male hormones this individual was once taking on the time of thought.That might cause problems with the little one.By way of the amount of hair under the hands i would say she continues to be taking some sort of male hormones.This can be a very strange story.It can be tough for me to wrap my head round it.I simply hope the child is okay.The child is just not punished for things the parents do! ♥

Answer 6

Let's see your son and daughter in law? I thought you were 13? And your getting married to a wonderful man who is 57 that is just gross at 13. Which is it 49 or 13? quit playing games


Not only that some of your other messages show you as a man with his wife on the pill, others a man whose wife is pregnant and others a man who wants his wife to service him when she can't have sex. Please choose a different name for each of your current personalities.

Answer 7

Enjoy the other better things in life like traveling and being a grand-parent. I am 26, expecting my with my second child. My mother-in-law have two small children with us and i feel sorry , she is a good parent but her days are spent working and attending PTA meeting she have no time for her self can't travel and go, as someone of her status and of course it takes away from her being grandparent because she have children to attend to herself. I believe you are going through a crisis, enjoy being a grandparent and be the the best.

Answer 8

I don't think that it is to late for you to have another child, but you are pushing 50. I think that after age 40, doctor's are a little concerned with 'older' women having children do to birth defects, etc. That is something to consider. If your child was born with a major birth defect and you are almost 50 yourself and your husband is 57, depending on the kind of defect that they may have if any, and your ages, will you both be able to properly care for that child?
I am not trying to discourage you in anyway, shape or form, but trying to give your food for thought.
Good luck with this.

Answer 9

Sounds like a wonderful opportunity to adopt an older child.

But, if you're hell-bent on it, keep in mind that the odds are quite good that you either won't get pregnant in the first place --

""Now I will still see a patient at age 45 who says, "You know, doctor, I am thinking of getting pregnant," Paulson tells WebMD."She has no idea that the idea of a pregnancy with her own eggs is quite remote, even with in vitro techniques. Most of these women are menstruating, but nearly all are quite infertile. That is a relatively common misconception, that regular periods mean you are still fertile.""

-- or will suffer through a miscarriage -- or abortion, after the usual battery of pre-natal testing for older women, and crazy-high risk of defects, before you or your body gives up on the idea. Why put yourself throught that? You already have a son, and a grandchild on the way; time to relax, I think. That your family is unsupportive is an excellent argument against the whole idea. Clearly, nobody's stepping up to say "And I'd love to be the one to help out when all three of you are in need of same!"

Answer 10

There are a few risks but if you are healthy and you and your husband want a child then WHY are you letting other people make choices for you? I can assure you that if they wanted a child they would not let you stand in their way....I think it is a wonderful idea,and you are older now and you and your husband would really know now how to be a parent...Now.....It don,t matter if you are a grandma,so what,you are a very young grandmother...and you have a long life ahead of you with your new husband....I say GO FOR IT! Go have you baby you will add a lot of joy to your life and it will make a everlasting bond between you and your husband....Good luck and GOD bless!

Answer 11

You know the decision is up to you and your husband...and that is where it stops. I know you want to consider every one elses views...but when it really comes down to it...it's not their place. I think that as long as you and your hubby have maintained a fairly healthy lifestyle...you can offer a child a lot. I have a very good friend who has a 2 1/2 year old daughter and 8 month old grand child. They seem to be doing just fine...he is 43. So, if this is something you both want...go for it!!!! Besides your family will fall apart at the seems with joy once this sweet little baby is born.