My boyfriend and I have been living together for about 3 months now. I have finally told the people at work and we got into discussing who pays for what and I told them I pay half of the mortgage and alittle of the food. He pays for the electric, water, half the mortgage and the food expenses. They were telling me why don't he pay for all the mortgage. I was wondering why they would think this way and maybe they only think this because they have husbands who pay for all of it. I don't think it fare. So I want to ask is my portion fare am I paying to little or is it just right? How are your financial situation devided between you and your spouse?
2006-12-27 10:30:56 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My boyfriend and I have been living together for about a year and a half and basically he pays the rent and I pay the other bills and we split the cost of groceries. He makes more money than I do and when it is all said and done if I need money for something and he has it he will give it to me and the other way around. You guys just do whatever works for you.
2006-12-27 10:34:44 · answer #1 · answered by lisa h 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first it is the wife. My check pays all and her check is our extra money. You are living together and not married so you pay around half and he does the the other half. You are giving him benifits so he usually pays a little it more than you. How much each of you make also makes a little difference in this. If he makes a bit more than you then he pays a little more. If you do then you can. If one of you have an extra payment like a student loan or a car that both uses then this also gets a little consideration. The big thing is to find what works for the two of you.
2006-12-27 10:41:13 · answer #2 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My spouse of 39 years and I have had a mutual financial arrangement for 25 years (that is when I started working).
But a marriage is different than being roommates. You should be splitting all bills and expenses down the middle, pay each with your own checks, you need evidence of everything you pay. Once you are in a casual living relationship without marriage, odds are that the ending will get ugly. Have evidence that you pay your share.
Pay EXACTLY as you would if you were renting and roommates.
Our arrangement (he has always made the most money) is true. He pays the big bills and I pay all of the small ones. He has always paid the mortgage payment, electric, taxes, all insurances, his own car expenses, his own cell phone expenses.
I pay all of my car expenses, all groceries, all gifts (except my own), my cell phone, lawn care service, all of my work expenses,
(gas and lunches and clothes), and the house phone service.
This has always worked for us, since we both like having control of our own money and are in a lifetime committed relationship.
2006-12-27 10:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is totally appropriate that you split the expenses pretty much 50/50. You have not been together that long and have yet to learn whether this will become a long term (20 years or more) relationship leading to family. For the time being, the ONLY appropriate thing, in my opinion is for the expenses to be split equally unless your salaries are way out of line with each other and one can EASILY afford and is amenable to paying more.
2006-12-27 10:40:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well- it's not. Everyone i know and their family does this. Put their money together and pay everything form there. I think that what you are doing is stupid! you should not have to pay for half the mortage- I know you'r tying to be considerate and help out but- in the end- his money is your money and your money is his money anyway. I think the stronger person should be the one to halde all the bills. In some cases- guys are more responsible with money than women but in some cases- women are smarter about what to do with it too. Do this- created a budget spreadsheet on excell. Input all personal & house bills including credit cards, mortgage, loans. savings etc. Assume how much money you & your husband will bring in each month put together (example me & my hubby comes up to $4,500) subtract that number from all that needs to be paid and do it that way. You will find out that you will be saving alot more money this way. Her's a tip- I don't think it's good for a man to have "extra" money in his pockets for all you know he's spending it with another woman or at a strip club on tips. I suggest that you put your meny together and YOU manage it.
2006-12-27 11:05:53 · answer #5 · answered by Cheesy Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they key here is that you are DATING-- and now you are paying 1/2 his mortgage. If you break up- he keeps the house and you get nothing. If you want to pay half- then get your name on the title of the house. You are making his life very easy-- I hope he is spending some of his extra money on you. Lastly-- if you are happy-why would you listen to the Buffoons at work-what the hell do they know?
2006-12-27 11:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by just helping 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he is pulling more financial weight because you are doing more around the house (house work is work too-- with a value attached) ....then if you are not paying half- you are not paying enough.
If you are not doing something to offset the expense, you are not pulling your weight.
Only men who feel insecure want to pay for it all... or most. If they pay, then they have the control.
Well, I guess it's unfair to say "insecure" there are still guys out there that have been taught as children that "The man must provide" and it lessens them as Men if they can't or just don't.
Maybe he's just nice, and doesn't want to strain you, and he can afford it. There are still "nice" people out there.
It comes down to you.
Are you respecting yourself?
If you want to say "I can stand on my own two feet, but I choose to put my shoes under his bed" then don't let others make you feel ashamed for wanting self-respect and self reliance.
2006-12-27 10:51:13 · answer #7 · answered by There you are∫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may not be applicable since you are not married but my spouse and I just deposit our paychecks into one checking account and pay the bills with it. We set aside a certain percentage for savings and the rest is considered a part of the family budget. There is no "his" and "mine". We both work hard and respect each other when it comes to spending our hard earned dollars. If there is a major purchase to be made it is discussed and researched before a decision is made.
2006-12-27 10:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before my wife and I were married and we were just living together, we split the bills based on the ratios of our income.
For instance, I made 60% of the income in the household and she made 40%. So I paid 60% of all the household expenses and she paid 40%.
We'd put all the bills together for the month, she'd give me a check for 40% of it and then I'd pay the bills.
For groceries we usually just split it down the middle, or since I made more I'd just pay for them.
After we got married we got a joint checking account and all our money started going into one big pot. I still pay the bills, but it is from OUR money now. Not "mine and hers".
2006-12-27 10:35:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a single mother so, I pay everything. However, If I were to have a live in relationship I would expect to pay half of the expenses. No one lives for free. Are you happy with the arrangement? That is really all that counts. And take this bit of advise stop telling people your business, they really should not make any comments anyway. It is not their lives, if you are happy that is really all that counts. God bless****
2006-12-27 10:36:03 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋