Have you fallen in love wiht another man being married??

Question

I've been married for 3 years, I was in love with my husband and he loves me a lot but he cannot give me what I need, all i need is support I have talked to him many many times and he seems not to understand me, I care a lot about him and I never thought of falling in love wiht another guy, but things have changed in my heart and I am scared of those feelings, becuase, not searching I found a men who is everything I have been looking in for, he is so nice to me and I have fell in love, He wishes he could marry me. this is the type of guy that would do anything to make me happy and to bring joy to my life, I am so hurt inside about all this and my mind makes me think a lot about my husband and how would life be without him. I need some good advice, How can I forget this new man I met, if he is willing to make me happy, I know him and words are not what he does best, but his actions. I am still so scared and sad I don't find the right direction to go, But I am sure I want to what's best.

Answer 1

First, leaving your husband for this other guy would just be running from one relationship to the other. Remember, right now this other guy is just fantasy. It's not real life. You haven't lived with him for three years. You're both still on "first date" behavior.

If you decide that you need to leave your husband don't be doing it while running to another man. You need to be single for awhile and work on you, then you can have a healthy relationship with someone else. Otherwise after a year or so you'll wake-up one morning in the same situation, just a different face laying next to you. You will be the constant in the equation.

Fix yourself, then work on finding someone. Right now you are trying to find yourself in someone else.

Answer 2

I know you have tried to talk to him but you need to decide how much longer you want to be unhappy. Sure you should make the best effort to work things out but at some point you need to tell him things have to change or you are done.

With regard to the other guy, do not jump into something right away. You are very vulnerable and I am not saying the other guy is not nice or genuine, but your decisions are based on feelings/emotion and probably not logic. Let things finalize with your husband, if that is what you decided to do, and then take time to clear your mind. If the guy truly cares for you he will understand that you have to make Laura happy for some time. Also, you have a child to consider and have to think how a change will impact the child if you and your hubby split up.

Take your time, you are young and need to make sure you do what is best for you and your child.

Answer 3

Tuff one sweetie~First of all do you have children? Cause if you do that is a whole different story. And if you don't then there could be a possibility of you being with the man your heart desires, but always remember "Not everything that shines is Gold" So with this in mind are you shure and ready to leave what you build up for many years? And if so then proceed and talk to your current husband remember~ Communication is the key to your success~ Now go and be happy!

Answer 4

I think that this marriage of yours needs some special attention and cards need to be put on the table before you end up losing something that you can fix. Don't tell your husband about this guy that you're apparently having at least what seems to be a mental affair with. But do tell your husband that you are finding yourself very dissatisfied and that you need him to listen to what your saying to him, because if he is not willing to listen that you are going to let your mind stray away and that he will not be able to bring you back once you throw in the towel. Tell him to wake up and to make sure that he is listening to your needs and wants. If he doesn't listen tell him that you are no longer in love with him and that the next step is divorce. If it were him that were in your shoes would you want him to tell you?

Answer 5

Sweetheart you are having an affair. Even if your not having sex. Your having an emotional affair. It sounds like you have already made up your mind. If your willing to go to counseling or if you are willing to keep working at this relationship then you need to let the guy you are not married to go. If your not wanting to and you feel you really have exhausted all of the resources pertaining to your marriage its time to move on. You need to tell him.
If there are no children involved then you may have it alot easier than other women. Its more destructive to the family to stay in a relationship that makes you feel miserable.

Answer 6

You are in a tough situation. I have been there. I was married to my first husband for three years (no kids - he already had them and didn't want any more). He was controlling, abusive, and would not get counseling or help for his alcohol addiction.

I divorced and married the other man who to this day has been wonderful to me. We've been together 10 years and survived some tough times. My first husband forgave me for leaving him and even blames himself, though I don't blame him. It was excruciatingly hard to do, but I know I made the right choice. It's your call though. No one can decide that for you.

Answer 7

How long have you known this other guy? Can you say honeymoon phase? Do you really think he will respect you if you cheat on your husband with him, he probably just wants to get laid. Once you leave your husband and go to him the fun will be over for him he will have won the prize get bored and move on to someone else leaving you lonely and not getting what you need. Do you really want to start the vicious cycle of unhealthy relationships?

Answer 8

You have to decide where your emotions are - if you still want to be with your husband then you need to put all your energy and emotion that direction. If there are no children involved, you may consider divorce but don't be surprised if your new love turns out to be worse than the one your are currently married to.

Answer 9

If you think you have exhausted all avenues with your husband then you need to get a divorce but remember that temptation is always stronger or feels stronger at the moment.

Answer 10

Nope-- I think that love has no borders. In some countries, intercultural/interracial marriages might be frowned upon, or people may have to deal with their parents' expectations.. but for the most part, we love who we love and that's all there is to it. Read "Romeo and Juliet".