We both work full time. No kids. He works longer hours.
But I started to feel like a maid at the Holiday Inn.
I love my husband, dont take me wrong. I just wish he could help out. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping.... Am I the only one like that? I tryed complaining, talking then even left the house dirtry for a wile... No help!
HELP ME!!!!!!!
2006-12-27 09:10:27 · 17 answers · asked by tanyasiv 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Laundry- if he leaves dirty clothes lying around, pick them up and put them in his car. Eventually he'll need clean socks or underwear. Don't do it for him. Let him ask you and you can patiently tell him you're not his maid, but you'll be more than happy to show him how to use the washer and dryer.
Cooking/shopping- Make a schedule with him. Tell him you'll be responsible for dinner/food on certain days and he'll be responsible on the other days. But let him know on his days you expect similar quality of meals that you'll prepare on your day. If he states he can't cook, offer to teach him.
As for the other chores, vacuum the living room when he's watching football or basketball or something on t.v. that he really likes. The other cleaning chores you should do when he's around. Make sure he knows you're cleaning and do it in a way that's somewhat disruptive to him. If he asks you to stop, just tell him nicely that the house needs to be cleaned and you just don't have any other time to do it.
2006-12-27 09:53:03 · answer #1 · answered by married2004 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I hate to say it, but I doubt it will ever change. I have been with my husband for 5 years, and he has ALWAYS been that way. We used to argue about it alot. His opinion is that since he works longer hours, and makes 4$ more an hour then me, that he should be able to come home and relax while I do the house work, and take care of the kids. His help only goes as far as taking out the trash, and only if I ask him to, and taking care of the kids on his days off if I have to work. Thats bout it. I even change my own oil and do tune ups on my car if necessary half the time. Not all the time. Dont leave the house dirty, if he is anything like my hubby, he will get upset, and might want to leave you over it. I dont know what else to tell you other then if you cant deal with it, you might have to leave him. See if maybe you can get him to do some of the heavy lifting, so to speak, around the house. If something needs moved, have him do it, since he is a guy. If trash needs to be taken out, ask him if he would. Be nice about it tho, or he might get upset. Say you need a somewhat heavy laundry basket moved into the laundry room, ask him if he could carry it in there for ya. Even a little help is better then none at all. Good luck. Hope you can deal with it like I have.
2006-12-27 09:23:18 · answer #2 · answered by countrygirl66032 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I hate to say it but that's a woman's role in a relationship. Also, if he works longer hours than you then maybe you could back off on the subject. Men don't really clean the house or do dishes. Perhaps you two could compromise about certain tasks. Like maybe he could be responsible for picking up his own clothes and such things. I gave up a long time ago on the subject. Now I simply assume full responsibility of the household and he is much happier. Sometimes you have to give in for your own peace of mind. Good Luck!
2006-12-27 09:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by limeallure 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hire a part-time housekeeper. When the lawn needs care, hire someone to do it. The heck with playing the blame game - life is too short. If he does not like you hiring help, tell him you've got a life, and you'll be darned if you're going to spend it slaving like a maid at the Holiday Inn! Let him chew on that awhile, and then tell him either he pitches in and does fifty percent of the housekeeping chores - and does 'em correctly - or you're going to keep the hired help. If he does not like that, show the selfish slob the door and tell him not to let it hit him in the behind on his way out - permanently out, that is! Yo - I do the cooking, dishes, laundry and help with the shopping in my marriage. So did my dad, and his dad before him, and his dad before him! And if your hubby don't think we're real men - we're ALL veterans! Me - Vietnam. Dad - World War Two and a Purple Heart. Grandpa, World War One and a bronze star. Great Grandpa, the Spanish-American war. If we can do it, so can your hubby!
2006-12-27 09:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sit him down and tell him, straight out, that you would really appreciate a balance of responsibility in the house. Right now, it's 66% you, 33% him. You want things to be as 50/50 as possible and would like just a LITTLE help with the housework.
2006-12-27 10:13:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to see you as a partner, not a slave. Try the "business meeting" approach. Get his full attention, speak to him as an equal, and tell him he must help because resentment is the first of many possible cancers that can occur in a marriage. Tell him to take over at least ONE important chore...even it it's just stopping for groceries once and a while. A co-worker's husband makes a small contribution by cooking once a week...woopie right? Start with baby steps. Was his mother one of those who coddled?
2006-12-27 09:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You married him the way he was...now you want to change him? If you wanted him to help out with the housework after you were married WHY didn't you discuss this BEFORE you got married? All you can do at this point is learn to tolerate the fact that he doesn't help out around the house or get a divorce. You shouldn't go into a marriage expecting the other person to change...that would mean you lied when you took your vows...remember "For better, for worse"...
2006-12-27 11:01:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men like to tease their wives like little kids..they think if you get annoyed..its funny. Stop complaining and hire a maid..if you have no kids and both working..I am sure you can find someone to come in once a week and help out for four hours or so. Then send your husband a bill for half of the fee's.
2006-12-27 09:14:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Next time he want to get it on....tell him you are too tired because you cleaned the kitchen, did the laundry, cooked and cleaned.
After a few times he should get the picture.Men think with the other head anyway, so the change should be immediate. LOL
2006-12-27 09:15:59 · answer #9 · answered by Chica Creole 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Next time he wants sex, tell him when he demonstrates that he can help with the chores around the house, then and only then will he get serviced.
That ought to get his attention real quick. Also, hang signs around the house that say "Your mother doesn't live here, clean up after yourself".
2006-12-27 09:22:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋