My husband lost his only brother 6 years ago to a terrible car accident. Since then i know he hasnt dealt with his anger and because of it our marriage and the relationship with our children is suffering. I have tried for years to make him happy, but im worn out. He will not admit that he has shut down emotionally because of what happened. He wont go to counseling or to god. Im at my wits end. I feel like i am in this marriage alone most of the time.
2006-12-27 09:03:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not only did he loose his brother, who was 23 at the time. He came up on the accident after it happened so he saw him like that
2006-12-27 09:30:25 · update #1
Basically, you are. Its time for some tough love here. Give your hubby an ultimatum, either he seeks professional help and snaps out of this,as you cant take it no more and arent willing to take it anymore or you and the kids are leaving and he can mourn all by himself for the rest of his life. Sorry about his brother but he needs a reality check here as you and his kids need their dad, six years are way more than enough time to mourn and he has to realize by now that all the mourning in the world wont bring his brother back. Tell him that you know his brother wouldnt want him to mourn his life away over him. Dont give him too much time to think about it as the shock of reality will wear off. Make him commit to his decision.He needs this for his own good as well as yours. Be prepared if he doesnt do anything.Good luck and have a fantastic new year
2006-12-27 09:16:18 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is a terrible thing for anyone for anyone to have to go through. He may be hurting but he needs to get some help so he can have closure and doesnt lose his family. You are there and he is pushing you away you are one heck of a woman 6 years and you are still hanging on. Its time you give him an altimatum either get help or lose us. Love hurts but you and the kids deserve to be happy he loves you he will make the right decision otherwise he will just have to be sad and lonely without you.
2006-12-27 17:46:28 · answer #2 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I hate to say it, but you are going to have to tell him, Get help, or Im leaving. Thats bout the only way that its going to get thru to him. Even if he only wants to talk to you. Any talking will help, but you are going to have to tell him you cant do it anymore, and really follow thru with it if he doesnt change, otherwise, he will keep on being this way, and you will never get anywhere. And there is nothing that says if you do leave, he wont wake up and realize he is losing everything, and go get help. Good luck hun.
2006-12-27 17:28:10 · answer #3 · answered by countrygirl66032 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he will not go and get or even consider getting some counseling there is very little you can do to make him. However, some grief counseling would be very beneficial to him. And if he chooses not to cry out ot God, again you can not make him. However, you can cry out to God for him, ask God to heal his heart and unhardened his heart for the sake of himself and the family. And keep praying it will work. God is the one that works and creates miracles, pray and God will change him. You must trust and believe and it will be. Try it and I know you will be amazed, don't give up. God bless****
2006-12-27 17:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He has many more issues than the loss of his brother. If he won't go to counseling, you go without him; it'll help you learn why you put up with him and whether you're all - you and the children - better off without him. Look, you owe it to those kids as well as to yourself. They are not to blame for his behavior and they don't deserve to be punished through his behavior. They're depending on you - so get going!
2006-12-27 17:12:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
im so sorry this is happening 2 you . but if his parents are still around they should come over 2 your house and bring pictures of his brother and laugh about all the good times they used 2 have with eachother.but if that doesnt work u should tell him how u feel and say that if this doesnt change your gonna have 2 do something about it. but hopefully it ends soon.GOOD LUCK!
LOVE,RUNAWAYLOVE25
2006-12-27 17:20:55 · answer #6 · answered by Beaner :D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Anger can be a cover for deep sense of loss. Look up names of family therapists. Find one who will speak to him first and then your whole family in group sessions. Don't force it, but keep dropping hints. If he isn't ready to get help after a month or two of trying, then you gotta make that decision of leaving or staying.
2006-12-27 17:09:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anna Simon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I quess I would start by showing him your question. It could also be time to get others involved IE doctor, reverend, counselor, brothers, sisters, and consider getting counseling for yourself if need be. No easy answer here I'm afraid.
2006-12-27 17:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry this is happening to you, but you may have to give him an ultimatum. Tell him you don't like the way your life is going and he needs to either be a part of it or leave.
2006-12-27 17:07:16 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i've also lost someone close to me and it has taken a very long time to just accept the death. all you can do is be patient and love your husband. it sounds like he really needs you now. it's not going to be easy but be patient and kind. he'll get over the worst and needs you now more than ever.
2006-12-27 17:25:20 · answer #10 · answered by llsnwtsn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋