Could I improve this ad any more?

Question

https://post.craigslist.org/manage/254149110/wke3k
Please give constructive criticism.

Answer 1

GREAT start, but here are a couple suggestions! : )


1) The photo is not the best quality. Maybe try another digital camera, or ask a friend to take a nice photo of you?

2) I agree about testimonials. Even posting quotations from letters of recommendation that you have would be nice. Kind of how movies have the "Two Thumbs Up!"

3) Give a little background about yourself. If someone is going to invite you into their home or office, they would probably feel much more comfortable knowing you. For example, I live in the suburbs of Florida with my husband, two dogs Bob and Bill, and a daughter named Sarah. I enjoy reading books in my spare time. Maybe even tell them about what enticed you about massage therapy. Why did you get into it? Do you like helping people?

4) Just a word of advice, you may want to think of a maximum distance you want to travel and you may want to consider a fee per every mile. My mom travels to different homes and schools teaching art, and she lists the cities she will and will not go to. She once had an individual 1 1/2 hours away asking for her to teach a class!! She quickly learned her lesson! Also, with gas money being so high, you should also consider having some sort of a transportation fee.

5) You also may want to mention how they would go about paying in the ad. Do you accept cash, checks, credit cards, etc... Is immediate payment required, or will you give them an invoice. People like knowing what to expect before enlisting a service.

6) I would also give an email contact along with the phone number.

7) SELL your business! "I am confident that you will be satisfied with my service."

8) Offer discounts for booking multiple appointments, or for referring others. Ex. Refer a friend and get $5 off your next massage" or something like that. People like saving a couple bucks!

9) It also may help to think of a name for a company and patent it. For example, Massages by Kat, Kat Massages, Daly Massages, etc... If you make it a small business, many stores (like Office Depot) will give out discounts for supplies, like invoices, briefcases, and so on if you register with them. From there, you can also make up business cards and declare yourself the owner of the company. It sounds like more of a business. Then, you can offer different services instead of just a flat fee. This enables the customer to customize their session.

10) I would search Google and try to think of ideas for different services to provide, business ideas, etc... The market is definitely there, as pretty much all Americans are stressed, smoking, or have some sort of pain.

****I edited your listing how I would list it***



Hello! Ny name is Kat Daly and I am a Certified Massage Therapist with four years of professional experience looking to expand my business. I obtained an Associate's Degree from XXXXXXX in Sports Massage and Cranial Sacral therapy. I also have background in Deep Tissue Massage, Swedish Massage and Reflexology. Massage therapy can help relax muscles, stop pain, and can even be used to help an individual quit smoking! With my extensive experience and friendly service (OR insert something else here that shows that you are a nice and friendly person...people don't want a cranky massage therapist), I can help you to achieve your desired goal.

Through my services, I will travel to your home or office to perform a thorough massage for only $40 per hour or $60 per hour and a half. Check around...I'm sure I'm the most reasonably priced! As long as you have enough room for a massage table (about the size of a twin-size bed) and room to walk around it, we can set up a relaxing, professional massage in an environment that you feel comfortable in. For more information or to set an appointment, call Kat Daly at 720-275-3388. Reservations must be made at least 24 hours ahead of the time desired.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 2

I agree with the other guy that answered about the pic. It isn't the best quality. Know anyone with a digital camera? Also, spell out the words that CMT abbreviates. Certified Massage Therapist? People looking for your services don't know all the massage industry abbreviations- they just wanna get rubbed! Not sure whether it was such a great idea to post this on yahoo answers. Sure, it does give you some free exposure but someone is gonna call you at 4 in the a.m., drunk just wanting to talk to you about anything but massage. $40/hr sounds reasonable. If I lived in your area I'd probably give you a call. I could really use a massage. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well, I don't want to sound mean but, everything. People want to know what you will do for them. Don't tell them about your credentials, don't write in prose format. Keep the picture, you are very pretty, in a clean way, everyone will like that, men and women. You don't want jealous wives. Large letters, "Holidays are finally over, treat yourself to a special indulgence AND in the privacy of your location". "At work or home", bold splashy, accentuate how great they are going to feel, convenience, be passionate about providing this service. "Post Holiday Stress Syndrome Special". "Get one for that special someone". Fun, exciting, pleasurable, you have to tap all of these emotions. Make your offer time sensitive, "Expires January 31, 2007". The add works for every time of year and always has a time crisis. Valentine "Expires February 28" so on and so on.

Answer 4

it's a bit dull to be honest. you need to express yourself and your business more. maybe you could put, need to relax, stressed? with x years experience in x , i am confident i can ease your troubles and bring a smile to your face. at work? no problem, all i require is space big enough for my massage table and room for me to move around. i also cater for clients at their home. if you are prepared to work from your own home, then i would include this as well. also if you have plenty of satisfied clients, i would ask them to write a recommendation for you and post some with your advert and put some on the walls of your home or office etc. then put your hourly rate in. it's like an interview, you've got to sell yourself as well as your skills. show people your better than anyone else. if you can afford it, try have special offers now and again, or go to a business in your town and offer to do your thing for free. that way if your any good, they'll pass on the word and you should get plenty of business. good luck.

Answer 5

Post some referrals, Post some testimonials.. and yes you need a much better photo. You look fine but the quality is very bad.
Good luck

Answer 6

I would start with a better picture. The picture looks like it was taken by a 1980's polaroid camera.