My best friend passed away while we were in a fight...?

Question

My best friend of 8 years passed away last week...the thing was, we stopped talking almost 2 years ago over a stupid fight. She and I both had lots of problems and both needed antidepressants but we were truly the best of friends and I was the godmother of her young kids. I have since moved away to another state. I have often thought of calling her but kept putting it off. I missed her terribly.
I got the phone call that she had passed and after finding out that she really went downhill in every aspect of her life I felt horrible that I wasn't there for her! She became ill and died but not necessarily from her illness, it could have been a combination of many things. I really feel inside that she gave up...he husband found her dead in her bed.
I never got to make peace with her...and due to lack of funds I could not go to her funeral. I can't even admit to people who don't know her that we were not speaking. How can I get over this? How can I make peace with her?

I also dreamt of her last night...and she was telling me things that I honestly can't remember but she was not happy. I do seem to remember hugging her and I really want to believe she came to me. I don't know how do deal with this.

Answer 1

I think she came to you in your dream to tell you that she is not happy that you two didnt make peace.So,,do it now,,I believe they can see us from heaven.Light a white candle & say what you want to say to her.I believe that she will hear you.I feel that the bad is forgotten & the good lives on in our hearts forever.Remember those times.That is what is important.Maybe thats what she wanted to say in the dream.Iv also had dreams of my dad & brother after their deaths.In the dreams,,we were talking in conversation but I cant remember what was said in some. I believe she now understands what is really in your heart.Light the candle,,speak from the heart.

Answer 2

That's a really tough one. You're beating yourself up for not having taken that extra step that would have been relatively simple. But. Don't be too harsh on yourself. My grandmother used to always say "don't be sad because it's over, be happy because it happened", and I'd have to say that's the best advice.

You were obviously extremely close, as you only name someone a godmother if you're in a loving relationship. And you can't know what was the cause of it all, and whether or not you could have made a difference. If anything, it teaches us all to make that first move, to forgive and forget, and that true friends/friendships are priceless. Time will help, and the support of your other friends will get you through this. If anything, spread that love and willingness to make peace amongst those who are still present in your life. Best of luck.

Answer 3

I can kinda realte. Recently, due to a chain of events too long to explain, my best friend of 8 years and I stopped talking. I miss her terribly even though I know the things she did and said were so wrong that I was crushed. It is just that we both had problems in our life and we helped each other. I was there for her when her father passed and she was there for me when I had my kids. I am really young so I needed her. And I need her now. She was my only true friend. If something happened to her, I don't know how I would handle it. I feel for you. As far as the dream goes, I believe it probably was her. I believe in those kind of things and she was probably trying to tell you something. She will probably be back. Don't be scared though, spirits can't hurt you. The best thing I can do for you is to pass along a couple of tidbits of advice my mother told me-------This too shall pass---------and--------time heals all things. By the way have you ever heard the song HOW CAN I HELP YOU TO SAY GOODBYE by patty loveless. you should listen to it.

Answer 4

Find a quiet space light a candle and chat with her although her body is gone her spirit lives on and she wont be harbouring any bad feelings towards you,another thing you could do is write to her kids in time and tell them how much you loved their mom and relate some of the fun things you did together no one likes to remember a loved one always in pain or depressed you could help keep her memmory alive this way and also guide her children with growing up through the years to come.
I lost my friend many years ago and we were fighting she died just before she was to get married so all i can say is keep your chin up and things will move forward for you all no one needs to know you wasnt speaking at this time they are all suffering from i could/should have done this for/with her
Blessings

Answer 5

My teacher died recently from a MASSIVE heart attack. I know what it's like to lose someone really important to you. I CAN'T tell you one thing. To forget about her and that is just life. No way. That is the worst possible thing someone can tell you and it has to be the most dispicable thing I have EVER heard. It's impossible to do. There is one thing you will notice. You will have out-bursts of crying out of no where. Something that one of the other teacher's told me at this teacher's funeral was that he said,"Don't worry Samantha. He is still alive. Alive in our hearts. All you have to do is talk to them in prayer." Very recently I had a dream about him. We were sitting at a table. It was him and this other girl I knew that loved him to. He said some jokes, made us laugh like crazy. He told us funny stories. Then I asked him,"Why did you have to go?" And his reply was,"That's my secret. Cheer up Samantha. The only thing I want to ask you is just make sure you don't forget me and keep me in your heart!" I wish I had never left that dream. I miss him so much!

Answer 6

If she was buried somewhere, go visit the grave if possible. If not, talk to a priest or reverand who may be able to guide you and offer spiritual support. You are in a difficult position, but time does heal all wounds. Good luck and I'm sorry about your loss.

Answer 7

Sorry thats awful thats why you shouldnt go to bed angry at anyone. Nothing you can do pray and talk to her hopefully she will hear you (who knows what goes on in the after life) but that will probally make you feel better anyway. Im sure shes where shes at wishing she'd made up with you too.

Answer 8

you were best friends for 8 years. I'm sure the best times outweighed the worse times and if it were reversed she would not remember you for the fights. Do some praying for her. She will hear. Eventually try to visit her too.

Answer 9

My ex husband died. We were on bad terms. We never had kids but it was a deep love we shared. After he died he came to me in dreams. At first he was not happy. He was very upset. I think he juts could not admit he had died. He was shaking his head and I was telling him he was dead. He said NO NO NO shaking his head.

Well, then he finally came to me and he was happy. Another time he was in my car, in my house in my yard. He was coming to me in dreams. He handed me a note and I read it and it said " I'm sorry, I regret it".

Your friend will get to you. She will come to you be open and watch for signs..

Tell the Lord its ok for her to visit that you want her to.

Answer 10

IT'S REALLY HARD TO GO THROUGH A SITUATION LIKE THIS...ESPECIALLY SOMEONE WHO YOU'RE CLOSE WITH. I'M REALLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOOSE... THE THING IS YOU HAVE ACCEPT THAT THINGS JUST HAPPENED THAT WAY...YOU DID HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE-UP WITH HER..AND BE CLOSE AGAIN BUT WE'RE ALL HUMANS AND WE MAKE MISTAKES. UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETIMES IT'S TOO LAKE WHEN YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU COULD OF DONE...BUT YOU CAN'T GO BACK. THE ONLY THING I COULD SAY IS PRAY FOR HER, AND IF YOU TRUELY FEEL SORRY INSIDE FOR THE FIGHT...THEN I THINK YOUR FRIEND WILL FORGIVE YOU TOO! MAYBE SHE REGETS IT TOO AND THAT'S WHY SHE CAME TO YOU... SO FORGIVE YOURSELF AND SHE'LL FORGIVE YOU BECAUSE YOUR HEART WILL TELL YOU AND YOUR FRIEND LIVES IN YOUR HEART!!! AGAIN, WE'RE ALL HUMANS AND WE MAKE MISTAKES!!...GOOD LUCK!!