HI Everyone,
Ok Let me make this as brief as possible. I was or am dating this guy it is very casual..and I am also dating other guys. But of course I like that one guy more we tell each other we like each other and at times act like a couple. But recently through a third party I found out he has been sleeping with other girls. I was under the impression that I was the only girl he liked. He denied it, but I know it's true. However, I still want to proceed with the getting to know "each other" process. ..but of course with limitations ( No sex involved) . What are my chances of getting hurt?
2006-12-27 08:43:14 · 23 answers · asked by Bittersweet_emotions 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a tough one and I must admit that I am not your average girl so here goes my advice. Brace yourself! As single young people I feel that we should be free to date other people. Because dating is supposed to be about finding the right mate, right? Now we as females mess up because we allow our feelings to get involved. We tend to get too attached. I don't know why but that's just how we are. Now you have made the decesion not to have sex. That is a good decesion and by all means stick to it but if I were you I would develope a don't ask, don't tell policy with the guy....guys will be guys and as twisted as it sounds guys lie to us to protect our feelings. It's complicated and I hope this is helping. Okay let me get to the point...you are dating other people-continue to do that. You were under the impression that you were the only girl that he liked, guess what guys don't have to like a girl to have sex with her. So u may be the only girl that he likes or maybe he likes you better, maybe you are the special one...it doesn't realy sound like cheating to me because you said the the relationship was casual and yall act like a couple sometimes. Yall either need to figure out if u are a couple or not and lay down some ground rukes or just be friends and continue to get to know each other and stay out of each others relatinships with other people.
2006-12-27 08:53:48 · answer #1 · answered by xblackxtigerx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, a 3rd party told you something, which he denied. Then you say you know it's true; maybe it is, maybe it's not.
We don't know much about your case collectively speaking, but one thing is clear; you don't trust him.
If you and he made it clear (before), to remain loyal to each other that way - then of course dump him since you no longer trust him. If you had no such understanding, meaning that you are both 'free' until you make such an agreement, then who put the limits on the other relations?
Attempts at love will always expose us to 'hurt'. It's part of the process. Will the feelings you have overcome your mistrust?
All I'm saying, is if there were no rules; give the guy a chance after both of you agreeing to some rules. He if breaks that, then dump him.
Takes time to make a fine wine ...
2006-12-27 08:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by curly bob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're okay with him sleeping with other people, then I think you'll be fine. However, if you're like me or most girls I know...this guy sounds like a pretty big "player" and I think the best idea is to bail now. I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you this go round, but I promise, there is someone better out there somewhere for you and while it might not seem like it right now, it's much better to leave now and resume searching for the right one, than waste anymore time on this loser!
Good luck!
2006-12-27 08:47:23 · answer #3 · answered by FutureMrsMarsalia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't matter to you one bit that he was seeing someone else...you admitted that you were also seeing someone else. So HE DIDN'T Cheat! Look at it this way...you snooze - you lose. Maybe he got tired of not being your one and only interest...perhaps he followed his interest and it didn't lead to you. If you are mature enough, common sense should tell you that you have intimacy issues. Sex or no sex, he was not the only man in your life and you claimed he cheated...there was nothing to cheat on...YOU were seeing other GUYS...If you honestly wish to be with him and pursue only him, you need to let him know that. Communicate to him that you want to try a one on one relationship... And be HONEST!!! hopefully you will not have already squandered your chance with this guy because of your own infidelity.
2006-12-27 08:52:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hunny abot your situation (been there before). Truth is, chances of gettin hurtin your situation couldn't be any higher, especially when you're emotionally involved with this guy. I admire your integrity, choosing not to have a sexual relationship with this guy. I know it seems like the one you like isn't right for you..which might be the case. Decisions rele up to you, just make sure you're protecting your own feelings in the long run.
2006-12-27 08:49:00 · answer #5 · answered by trida702 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's already happened once, so the chances of getting hurt again are very good. Are you sure he thought of you in the same light as far as a being a couple goes? Calling that cheating is a bit of a stretch.
2006-12-27 08:47:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good. If he is already having sex with other girls then he is someone who you can not trust. Also, he is someone who thinks nothing of having affairs even if he is your boyfriend and you are his girlfriend so to speak. If you did marry him I am sure he would continue seeing other women and having affairs. He is what is called a lady's man or stud and loves sex just for the sake of sex. He is going to tell you what he thinks you want to hear and what he wants you to know and nothing more. I wouldn't trust him if I were you.
2006-12-27 08:48:50 · answer #7 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U seem to be friends and it did not look like that U told him that U want him to be your BF so ask him if he is ready to settle down if he says yes then ask him if two of U can be an item ...no ..go ..yes.......let him know what U stand for and educate him on the effects of H I V
2006-12-27 08:50:19 · answer #8 · answered by Richard e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are going to get hurt in love no matter what.
your chances are 100%, in every relationship.
your problem is that he has lied to you.
that is the real issue here. he denied it.
so you have a big problem in the middle of things.
why would you continue to date a guy who lied to you.
to me he didn't really cheat because you had no exclusive
relationship, but he did lie which is something you have
to deal with in the relationship. you can give him another
chance but if he lies again, get rid of him.
2006-12-27 08:46:50 · answer #9 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
With your situation I don't see what the big deal is. You aren't exclusively a couple, and you are both dating other people. You really have no right to be upset with him for what he does on his own time, since he isn't your boyfriend.
2006-12-27 08:46:10 · answer #10 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋