i feel so low alot has happened recently we have not got much money was pregnant lost the baby at 6 weeks very confused i have a 16 month old my partenern makes me feel like shite always putting me down he wont even watch our daughter for a few hours so i can have a little peace i have never left her side he preferes to be at his moms at the moment i feel so low i have had suicidle thoughts something good comes along but then is shattered so things get worse i have talked to a dr didnt say anything said it was my hormones felt this way since i had my daughter i do think the world of her and have bought her up alone nearly lost her while i was pregnant i would never kill myself cause that would hurt my little girl but i have started cutting myself i dont know what to do or where to go i have no one
2006-12-27 08:36:22 · 35 answers · asked by kitten 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I would call a hotline (not sure where you are from but can privately send email if need to me to see if I can search for some info) or talk with a peer counselor.
Ask your doctor to give you a list of behaviorlist and counselors who you can go and talk to. See if you can get any information. Even a teen or a woman's clinic can also offer in your community.
Part of it is your hormones. That is a given as we females, we are hormonal. That is a given; however, a lot of your issue is your home life. You are not happy. You are missing and lacking something in your life. Whether stability, love from family or your partner (which, I will give my opinion on that next) or your own self.
I get that myself (I never been pregnant though), but I have a lot of stress and a lot of issues going on. They all seem to come down around my period time too, go figure! Anywho.....
Your partner needs to straight up or get out. He is either a father or he isn't. He is either a lover or he isn't. Can't be both and you both don't need to produce more children when he can't take care or participate in the one he has already, plus unstable relationship and life at the moment too. I have very strong opinions and I know you might find what I say might be a bit harsh, but sometimes we had to land hard on our butts before we realize we better start climbing that latter if don't want to stay on the ground.
As for your daughter, I don't know your financial, but you can get help from the state and also file for child support and get a babysitter once in awhile. Even place her in a toddler educational program at least 2 times a week for 3 to 4 hours. This will give her some social, physical, mental and emotional development and this will give you your time to be yourself, not just a mommy.
I bet you are a wonderful mommy, but you are also more than that and you have to remember you need yourself too.
Cutting yourself is hurting her and you. She will see the scares and she will eventually ask about them. Plus, doing bodily harm is not healthy to you. Find a healthy outlet and start doing it now before cutting gets too addicting and become way worse of a problem.
Work out : running, gym, sports/play time with your child (punching bags and even pillows work great), go to family community events to meet other parents of all ages, you can even exchange babysitting and even "play dates" where some kids come to your house one weekend and the next your toddler goes to theirs, which allows parents to social and have some time to themselves while knowing their child is alright (of course getting to know the parent prior!).
Let me know if I can help.
2006-12-27 17:32:50 · answer #1 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kitten
Please try again with your Doctor...Write it down or print off this page...
I think it is 'Post natal depression' It usually starts after you have had a baby & it can last for up to 5 years & this is why I have suggested you visit your G.P. Do you have an health visitor or a health care proffessional who checks how your young one is doing? If so Please confide in her. Its normal to feel bad after suffering the loss of a baby...Your hormones are all over the place Sweetie.
Can you talk to your partner about it? Perhaps he is going out around his Mothers because he feels helpless .
Try & talk things over so that at least you know if you are on your own or he is prepared to stick with you & be more helpful.
I was in your situation years ago so I know the despair you feel.
Have you got any family support?
If its just a friend to listen, Please PM me & I will do all I can to help.
I hope you find the help you need. In the meantime try not to self harm yourself...Its not making things better & it will make things worse.
Focus on your little one...these are her important years.
Go & get help...Its out there ...you just need to let the Dr understand how desperate you feel.
Love & hugs.
2006-12-27 09:14:11 · answer #2 · answered by skippy's mum 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough question with no real straight answer, unfortunately most doctors are rubbish as they have a ten minute window to deal with patients, there are good doctors around so dont be disheartened, try going to another doctor and having a word there. How old is the father of your child, you see often that fathers of kids dont handle it well as they do not want the commitment.
Have faith though, not in a religious sense, there are people out there who can help.
Find a trusted friend. If you are not sure where to go from here find opinions and views of others and see if any ring true.
Dont give up ultimately, I know its hard but spend some time looking into your true heart, you have a beautiful child to care for.
Do you love your partner? assess your feelings for him, you know there are a lot of good people out there happy to join a mother and would appreciate the child.
Again a hard thing to do I know but start to look at things in a positive way. (i.e. what doesnt kill me will only make me stronger)
Luck favours the optimistic.
Dont give up it will hurt more.
Also there are a lot of references here to medication or prozac and that sort of crap, try without, dont immediately resort to something that will make your life a blur. Medication is a quick fix but not a true answer.
2006-12-27 08:45:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you should go to an obgyn doctor and talk to her about it. so many women have a hard time with pregnancy and losing your baby a 6weeks is hard to. I recently lost my baby at 18.5 weeks along in my pregnancy. Its very hard and I never would wish it upon anyone. Just remember that god would never give you more than you can handle, and if you think he is pushing you he most likely is because he knows in the end it will make you a stronger person for you and your daughter. As for the man in your life he doesn't seem like he is worth your time, get rid of him and find a good honest man. They are out there, just keep your head up! It will get better, stop cutting yourself you don't want to have scars that represent bad memories. take care.
2006-12-27 08:44:46 · answer #4 · answered by camrenalexis2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey you are post natally depressed. You have an illness that needs curing and you are not alone. I was post natally depressed after both of my children were born, it is all to do with hormones but you do need medical help to get over it. If your doctor is so unsympathetic see someone else, a health visitor is a good start. Just remember that you will get better and don't do anything to hurt yourself you will only end up hurting your daughter. (mentally I mean I didn't want it to sound like you would physically hurt your child) xx Good luck chick xx
2006-12-27 11:59:54 · answer #5 · answered by xoclairexo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK slow down. You sound very stressed, and with good reason. Please don't start cutting yourself - I've been there and it's not good.
I think you and your partner need a serious talk though. Communication sounds like it needs improving and you need to explain to him how you feel. Maybe when he knows he will act better?
But please don't stay in a destructive relationship if there's no hope for improvement. It can't be good for any of you, especially your daughter.
Would it help if you could get counselling? I know that can be expensive but is there a free or cheaper service near you? Or a friend you could confide in who could help you sort this out? I find the church is very good if you're at all religious. Or find a website or message board that could help - I know there are plenty for things like this - try googling self harm or marital difficulties and see what comes up.
I suggest you take time out to take stock of what's going on. Try focusing on the good things in your life, like your little girl, who you sound devoted to.
Wishing you all the best, email me if you want to. I'll pray for you and your family.
Jacquianne x
2006-12-27 10:24:59 · answer #6 · answered by Jacqui 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is important is for you to find somebody that you can confide in. i would suggest a therapist, psychologist or social worker. It appears that you have nobody that you can talk to who can understand your world. Medicine and antidepressants are a short term cure. Making sense of your life is more important for the long term. The focus should be on your daughter and her long term well-being. there are many organisations who could help you. Do not consider suicide as it would leave your daughter without a loving mother. Once you are out of the pain you now feel you will be able to offer her far more. As for the cutting look for help for self-multilation. A good therapist should be able to help you with this as well.
2006-12-28 04:31:43 · answer #7 · answered by Iron Ozzy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please go to a different dr...maybe your ob/gyn and mention that you've felt like this since you've had your daughter. It can be postpartum depression which is very, very serious and if it's that they can help you in so many ways nowadays. It is very, very common.
Even if it turns out that it is not that, you need to seek a counselor. It sounds like you have had way too many changes in your life and it would be hard for anyone to handle these changes, let alone someone who feels like they don't have anyone to lean on. It sounds like you love your daughter so much.....seek help from someone so that you can continue to love and take care of her. Remember you can't be the best mother for her if you don't put yourself first and take care of your mind and body right now. Do it for your daughter and for you.
I'm so sorry for your situation. I hope that you find peace and happiness in the new year and that you find a counselor and some therapy to help you in your situation.
2006-12-27 08:45:03 · answer #8 · answered by kath_08012 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Aww Kitten, I'm so sorry for you feeling like that.
I know its horrible but lets look at this one thing at a time.
First of all I would suggest you visit your Doctor. Tell them EXACTLY how you are feeling. Write it down if it helps (or just a copy of this will do. You need to sort yourself out first!!!!You do sound depressed. There is a lot that can be done to help ease depression, with or without medication.
Next, and when you are feeling better about yourself (which I promise you will) you can sort out your partner. If he isn't pulling his weight or making you feel good, perhaps he isn't the man for you. Life is sometimes easier without carrying baggage.
Good luck sweetie...life will get better!!!!!
2006-12-27 08:45:18 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you never recoverd from your first round of post partum depression. Tell your doctor you want meds for depression. If he won't help you, go to another doctor who will. Post Partum Depression is very serious. Don't let it cloud who you are and effect how your daughter sees you! I know it is hard to be a parent all by yourself. If your partner won't help, leave him behind and move on. You need people in your life that will be supportive and help you.
Good Luck to you and I hope things get better for you!
2006-12-27 08:47:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋