My bf and I are not very familiar with all of this stuff. Recently his money hungry x has been threatening him to take him back to the courts to raise the pay and to get him on backsupport. They made an agreement on the child support which he has been paying ever since on time through checks. Now that she's mad cuz he's giving her the money all at one time at the end of the month and not every two weeks she's going to say that he hasn't paid anything since it never went through the courts. He does has proof that he's been paying, but what got me thinking is that they have joint custody and he pays for everything because she takes the money for her and her new bf instead. Can he get backchild support on her since she hasn't been paying for anything? I know every state is differant, but here in AZ can this be possible? If anyone can help with advise other than get a lawyer, it would be great. thanks
2006-12-27 08:23:56 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has check stubs and pays 1000 for 2 kids. I know it can be expensive to raise children, but when the father is still paying for all of their clothes and shoes and doctor bills why is still having to pay so much while she doesn't help out with anything when they have them for same amount of time.
2006-12-27 08:38:35 · update #1
Thanxs for the answers to those who acually thought to answer and not talk ****.
If we going to get married, his business is my business and it's up to him what he wants to do, I'm here to support him and help him out with whatever I can. I'm not goin to sit there and let him get jackd just b-cuz she wants money.
2006-12-27 08:51:55 · update #2
I don't know much about AZ law but I do know that a lot of the states law are pretty much similar. I live nearby, NM, and with ours the court determines how much is paid by combining their incomes and then seeing what percentage he puts into it raising the kids and then takes that percentage out of his check. There may be more math to it but that is the gist of it.
The judge is going to frown on someone who comes in complaining that the child support being paid out isn't going for the kids without cold hard proof. It'll be a he said/she said battle and the "she" will win. It's great that he does have proof of payment...that will stop her from attempting back child support. In NM back child support goes back to the day the child was born so make sure he does have proof of all payments!! As for back child support for you guys, it won't happen. Since she has physical custody they'll dismiss that one instantly and see any extra funds he has paid out as just that...extra money though you may get credited for it...can't hurt to ask.
I don't you don't want to hear it but I would find a good lawyer who believes in father rights (biggy there!!) and get a free consultation so you can see what you can do and worse case scenarios.
2006-12-27 09:14:05 · answer #1 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If they have "joint" custody, why is he paying custody? Because he makes more money per month? If he has saved every receipt he has paid, even receipts for shoes, or whatever, he can rest easy. She's not getting anything, except less support. Any monies he spends on his child, and has a receipt, he can minus from his support check-by law. Unless in the parental plan it is written out different. Does it state when he is supposed to pay the support each month? If not, she needs to go cry a river some where else. Just follow the court ordered papers, and he will be fine, let her pay money to get a lawyer. Remember, the same goes for her! Joint means just that, what is good for him, stands for her too! A good word of advice, ignore the ladies tantrums, and she will stop that behavior.
2006-12-27 08:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Child Support goes to the parent where the child lives most. If he has been paying her with checks than he has proof he has been paying. It sounds like a bluff to me. The only thing that could happen is she could take him to court and if he makes enough money it could get raised a little. The judge will see right through her especially since you have proof and they had a verbal agreement. Make sure you keep paying with checks and save receipts for everything you buy for the child. Good Luck.
2006-12-27 08:29:03 · answer #3 · answered by tpurtygrl 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't matter that they have joint custody, she has physical custody and that's where the child support part comes in at. Never, and I mean never pay anyone child support without it going through the courts, it's just like you are paying nothing. Please talk to a lawyer and get it going through the courts so there will always be records on hand for your bf and his x. You can't control what she does with the money, just he do his part in paying. Now since there was no court order he is not obligated to do back child support. The child support will start when the court order starts. He will be starting on a clean slate. But please seek legal counsel asap!!!
2006-12-27 08:31:58 · answer #4 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First things first, a child or children need things DURING the month, not just once a month. That’s why the courts don’t allow it. its also that way because the honor system doesn’t work. Its proven ineffective.
Its child SUPPORT, not child TRUST FUND.
Time and time again, I see in court, gf or new wives getting in the middle of these issues. I realize you are trying to be supportive of him, but the way to be supportive is to say things like ‘honey, it wont be easy for us (or her) but we’ll manage’ and ‘your child needs things’ ‘ go spend some time with your kids and stop complaining about their clothes’ ‘stop talking nasty about your babies mama in front of that innocent child’
… not ‘shes a money grubber’. It just enflames the situation and helps no one involved. In court, I have also see many judges tell the new gf or bf to stay out of it, these are not their kids…many times. They are right.
she wants that money to take care of the child(ren). being a single mom is no fun...nor easy.
He also has the right to see his child, even if he doesn’t pay support. Your either a positive influent, neutral influence or negative influence on the relationship with the child.
I have spoken with hundreds of single mothers (the org I work for), and they deal with a lot more then you may see or even realize. You hear some men on here whining about how the woman gets the car, or house, or money. They fail to see those items are for their children, to raise them, get them to the doctors and provide necessities (electric, food, diapers, tylenol, back to school supplies, etc). They fail to see that if it were just the woman, she could rent a one room apartment (for far less then if she had a child), or that the childs needs come before anyone elses, hers or his. Ignore these guys whom look for loopholes not to take care of their kids. Money is their God.
All of our states are tired of paying for children that the parent (male or female) doesn’t pay for.
ARREARS: arrears will follow them, no matter what they do.their wages are attached (then some suddenly become ‘laid off’ or work under the table). Remember, money is their God. Once it reaches a certain amount, Its listed on their credit report, their tax refunds (state and federal) are intercepted, their property can have a lien put on it, and they are put in jail for small periods of time (and released for just a small portion of the amount owed) etc. if he tries to run over state line to avoid child support, its now a federal offense. so much more, so look on the links I have listed for you.
Here are some links that will help. One is a Child Support Calculator, some are links with laws for child support (all states are different with the laws), and some are just to help.Take your time and pick through them all…there is some great info on them.
http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://singleparents.about.com/index.htm
http://modestneeds.org/
http://freecycle.org/
2006-12-27 11:15:04 · answer #5 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd call her bluff and take her to court to get full custody of the child. If you have proof that he has been making payment and they are consistent then you have some ground to stand on that they had a verbal agreement. But if she never asked the courts to have him pay her child support, she can't get him on back child support b/c she should have filed for that when they divorced. Don't get greedy and ask for the other money back, just cut your loses there, but I would try to get custody.
2006-12-27 08:39:59 · answer #6 · answered by Dizzy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, I know you are new to this, but the first lesson is the child comes first. If she was awarded child support and it to go thru the courts and he hasn't followed that then she can take him back to court. What they agree to doesn't matter if something different was court ordered. If he makes more money than when it was ordered, she can have it raised.
As for the her spending the money on her and new bf, I get tired of hearing that from every new girlfriend. Do you have kids? Do you have any idea how much money it takes to raise kids? I doubt very seriously he is paying enough to even cover half of the expenses of his child, and definitely not enough left over for them to just be spending.
2006-12-27 08:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by dana j 4 · 2⤊ 5⤋
I hate to tell you is the biggest mistake was not getting the proof that he was paying child support. from now on tell him to write a check and keep track of the check number so that he has it. go to family services and ask them what you can do. and tell them everything and be honest with them. and if that don't work sorry to say. you have to contact an lawyer, you have no other choice. because it looks like she won't stop at nothing. good luck.and tell family services is for the child and not her.
2006-12-27 08:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Eventually it will get sorted out once the attorney generalgets involved... you should worry about tax time... like if hes going to try to claim the child or thinking that he is.... thats were it gets intersting....
2006-12-27 08:36:58 · answer #9 · answered by Lovley RT 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good question. I doubt you'll get what u need here. Call a lawyer they usually give free advice over the phone or free consult. Good luck!
2006-12-27 08:28:59 · answer #10 · answered by grrl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋