with all the questions about affairs and cheating....if someone would make it approachable to have an affair with......regardless if your partner acted on it or not....is it his/her fault for allowing someone to think an affair is possible....or is it possible for someone to mistaken a door being open for that possibilty?
i had an affair with a married man before. i was in a long term relationship. i am no longer with that person. but i allowed that affair to take place. i made myself available for one to happen. once it happened...i had no intention of stopping it. i just wanted another outlook of those that where in a position to have an affair but chose not to. was there a playful idea of one starting...but you backed out before anything started?
2006-12-27 08:19:28 · 14 answers · asked by Bella 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and for the ones that didn't take that oppurtunity.....did you leave yourself available at some point to let someone think you were available for an affair.
2006-12-27 08:28:35 · update #1
I agree with you Bella. For the most part, when we make ourselves "approachable" in that certain way, more people are likely to come on to us. Think about where you work, there is a right "business" way to act, and theres a wrong "unprofessional" way to act....we as men and women wear many hats. And in any given situation, there is always an approriate way to act.
Good question.
2006-12-27 08:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your fault. You have the ability to say yes/no. You know the other person is married and you continue, it's all on you. If you are married and you start the affair or just let it happen, you are still at fault. No on can make you have an affair. Even if you home life is bad, you made the decision to do it.
2006-12-27 16:37:18 · answer #2 · answered by harold 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, I agree with Reddog - both are at fault. I've had a situation come up when I was good friends with a co-worker and eventually it turned into a mutual crush. He crossed the line by asking me out for drinks afterwork one night. I declined because I love my husband and could not live with myself if I ever hurt him. Besides I knew adding alcohol into the mix would not lead to a wise decision on my part. I think it's normal for people to find themselves attracted to others while being married but it takes maturity and self control to keep yourself from indulging in the romantic "grass is greener on the other side" fantasy.
2006-12-27 16:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by CA DIVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that the person who is the cheater is more at fault. You did disrespect yourself and your morals, but only the cheater can step over that line and cheat on their spouse. You did not make him, you did not put a gun to his head and force him into an affair. Too often, people blame the "other person" for cheating, and yet, overlook the real offender, the cheater.
2006-12-27 16:23:21 · answer #4 · answered by shaclare 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never cheated on any of my mates however I have cheated with a man who I knew had a girl/fiance. It wasn't right but I was selfish and I did it. I don't believe in staying in relationships if I'm not happy and if I'm happy I won't cheat. The guy I cheated with decided to stay in an unhappy relationship. I won't ever do it again though because I woudln't want anyone to do that to me. I guess it's different for different people.
2006-12-27 16:26:56 · answer #5 · answered by xblackxtigerx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the fault of the person who is bothering with someone knowing they are in a relationship..be it the male, or female.
I could never understand affairs because if you cheat with someone who is cheating eventually you will be cheated on as well, KARMA!
2006-12-27 16:34:57 · answer #6 · answered by Radtech1996 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their hands are both bloody. The OW gave me a lame apology by text and expected forgiveness... I didn't forgive her at all as she knew I was trying to work it out with husband but she persevered and had the nerve to tell me to get a life and that I shouldn't forgive him. Husband did not get off easy either. She still wanted to be friends and wanted everything back including the underwear she bought him. He's been scared straight by that fatal attraction psycho.
2006-12-27 16:38:15 · answer #7 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always the married person's fault when it comes to cheating. They are the one the took vows before God , family and friends
2006-12-27 16:24:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think its the cheaters fault as much as the 'other person'. But the other person isnt much better and personally I think it should be legal for the betrayed spouse to beat the shiit out of the other person.
2006-12-27 16:31:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you call an affair a relationship? Families have relationships. What you had was a fantasy.
2006-12-27 16:25:10 · answer #10 · answered by 777-9311 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋