"many institutions at first seemed reluctant to participate, as it could not be very well seen having a private and foreign oil enterprise and a public institution so closely involved with the school"
2006-12-27 08:08:37 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
I think it's a little awkward. Maybe try putting your ending first. And try something else for "not very well seen." I think it's stronger this way:
Having a private and foreign oil enterprise and a public institution so closely involved with the school apeared inappropriate, so many institutions seemed reluctant to participate at first.
That's my guess. Hope it helps.
2006-12-27 08:15:32 · answer #1 · answered by baldisbeautiful 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"At first, many insitutions seemed reluctant to participate in a...(however you want to lable it); having private/foreign oil enterprise involved with a public institution so closely involved with the school
2006-12-27 16:17:07 · answer #2 · answered by SocialWorks 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is a bit clumsy. Move the "at first" so that it is after 'participate.'
Get rid of your split infinitives and break it into two sentences.
2006-12-27 17:29:18 · answer #3 · answered by Ranto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anytime you make more than one point in a sentence it can become a run on sentence. Break the two different points into two different sentences.
2006-12-27 16:18:12 · answer #4 · answered by Joe L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋