I was with 1 guy, we planned on getting married, he wanted 2 adopt my son, and I found out he was talking sexually with 1 of my "friends". In retaliation, I started talking 2 his friend. We broke up but i cant get him off my mind. I have been with his friend 4 awhile now and have grown 2 love him. The 1st guy admits he made a mistake and asked 4 me 2 4give him and give him a chance 2 prove himself. The love with him is a passionate, cant breathe without him type of love, but i have doubts if he would be faithful. With the 2nd guy, its a warm love where i know i am loved back and i have no doubts in my mind that he would never cheat on me. What would u do? Choose a passionate love? Or choose a friendship that grew in2 love?
2006-12-27 08:06:46 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont get me wrong, there is nothing lacking in the sex department with guy #2. I just cant guy #1 off my mind, especially when he is calling me and telling me he loves me. As 4 my son being involved, he had contact with both men as they were friends at 1 point (and yes, I feel bad about coming between the friendship), and he adores guy #2, who treats him as his own.
2006-12-27 08:19:57 · update #1
You have answered your own question. You might have passion with number 1 but he will break your heart and you will be alone and have to start over knowing he betrayed you. Number 2 however may not be the flash in the pan that number 1 is but he has potential to fulfill you and your life in ways number 1 never could. With number 2 you get respect, loyalty, dependability and yes laughter and happiness that grows deeper and lasts far longer than number 1 could ever hope to give you in his wildest dreams.
Don't waste your future, stick with number 2. He's the real deal and you know it yourself. Number one is a romantic memory you have fond recollection for but hot sex is not a replacement for a lifetime of love companionship and respect. I think you already know this by the honesty that is contained in your question.
Good Luck and I hope this response assists you.
2006-12-27 08:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You obviously know the answer, but it's hard for you to admit that #1 just doesn't love you as much as you love him. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to forget him. MOVE ON! Why are you attracted to someone that you know has and will treat you like crap. You deserve better. I'm sure you grew up in an unstable household or something...this is the reason you're attracted to the bad guy. You know he's bad news, but you can't help it, it's in your psyche. I listen to a lot of Love Line with Dr. Drew by the way, he's so cool. So now that you know it, you have to turn to #2 who will treat you with respect. If you give #1 another chance you will be disappointed and end up losing #2, and you'll regret it. Love is trusting, which you don't trust him, and passion doesn't create love, love creates passion. There is no real love between you and #1. You know what to do, stick with #2.
2006-12-28 16:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would chose the love that started from friendship. It can always become that passionate love you are missing from the first guy. I would want to be in the stable relationship where I know he loves me and would remain faithful rather than go to the one thats so passionate and take chances and always second guess if hes cheating.
2006-12-27 08:14:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is truly a difficult situation but to me trust is a major factor in a relationship. If you dont trust the first guy, you will be constantly doubting his explanations of where he was, why he was late, etc. and it will eventually have its affect on your relationship. However, I guess everyone deserves a second chance but never a third. If he continues to cheat he will always cheat. I tend to lean towards the second guy but you will always wonder in your mind if you should have given the first guy another chance so go for it and see how it goes. Maybe take a step back from both and see what you mean to both of them. Good luck.
2006-12-27 08:15:49 · answer #4 · answered by sweetlaughter434 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The passionate love will make you feel alive and the friendship love will give you a sense of security. If you can live with the fact of your man having affairs and not let it bother to much, then I suggest you go with passion.
Is there any chance you can have both?
2006-12-27 08:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd say take it slow. See how things work out with the friend. Being friends is an important part of a relationship. You need to have someone you can be open with and talk things out with. Also, you don't need to have your son involved until it is something more serious.
2006-12-27 08:12:57 · answer #6 · answered by Liz 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't go back. He'll cheat again and your son will end up getting hurt. Go for the comfortable love, they last longer and don't burn out.
2006-12-27 08:09:52 · answer #7 · answered by dana j 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i say choose the friendship that grew into love.
2006-12-27 08:13:17 · answer #8 · answered by live, love, laugh often! 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
how about trying out a new guy entirely
2006-12-27 08:25:44 · answer #9 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I say flip an coin.
2006-12-27 08:09:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋