after splitting from my husband (my choice) i started dating a guy who i was crazy about. he came on strong, then disappeared & really hurt me. i have now met a new man who is fantastic in so many ways, but i am having such a hard time believing everything he says to me & so afraid i will be hurt again if i give myself to him 100% like in the past. any advice on how to trust again? don't like the feeling that i've been played.
2006-12-27 07:50:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Been there , done that! I feel for you. So many times I had decided to protect my heart and not give all of me to that man. But as time has gone by and have had more experience.....It's just not worth possibly losing a great man over the fears. It is a chance you should take. If he turns out to be just another asshole then you pick yourself back up and do it again. One day you will find one that's all he says he is. It's called "weeding". Yes you may get hurt again but isnt it worth it if he could possibly be the "one"?
2006-12-27 07:57:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really understand how you feel as i have been through it too. It hurts just to even think about the past.. But you know what? It hurts because you can't let go of the past. And if you cant ever let go of the past, then you will never find true happiness. Try sitting back and relax and give a long thought about it. Is this man really worth a shot trying? Do you feel safe enough to give love another shot? And are your scars fadding? Consider and give yourself some time to thimk about it cuz by the end of the day, the choice will still be in your hands... Good luck!!
2006-12-27 08:03:15 · answer #2 · answered by LoVeAnGeL_BabyV 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is hard to trust again because you gave your heart and soul to someone and it didn't work out. I went through the same thing. My husband left me and I was terrified to love my boyfriend completely. I would tell myself I would love him at a distance so he could never devastate me the way my husband did. Then I kept wondering why I couldn't get over my husband. Then it hit me. There is no way to have anything real without truly letting my boyfriend in. When I let my guard down my boyfriend was able to fill the places in my heart I had been reserving for pain. I didn't believe what he said either because I didn't feel I was deserving of that kind of love because my marriage failed. You need to realize that with or without him you are deserving and allow yourself to open up to him. Then you can not only heal but build something new. Good luck!
2006-12-27 08:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by Tink 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can relate to that, after being separated from my husband for 15 years, I never dated anyone in my entire life. The reason. I can not and will not trust any man. And I don't want to give any man another reason to hurt me ever. And finally, my life turns out to be doing good, no man means no problem.
2006-12-27 07:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm finding it hard to trust anyone after my ex- wife left. I just can't believe there's anyone out there that won't cheat because in the business I'm in I see it every day. The reason it's so hard is because we've been hurt so bad
2006-12-27 09:22:58 · answer #5 · answered by wofford914 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know what you mean, I don't trust anybody complete anymore neither. I've been divorced from my 1st wife for 8 years, but still haven't gotten over the trust thing yet.
2006-12-27 08:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by HD Rider 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well all i can tell you is that you cant let your past interfear with the guy you love now and its not fair for him that he has to pay for the other guy mistakes i had the same problem too you just have to take risks for the man you love and hope everything will turn out good.
good luck and the best wishes!
2006-12-27 07:55:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You chose to leave your husband and have been sacking down every dude that comes your way and now you have trust issues?
The lesson you should have learned is that the grass ain't greener on the otherside.
2006-12-27 07:55:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you keep giving 100% all the time to every guy you meet the same thing will happen over and over again.men don't like a push over.don't be a ***** but give them a run for their money.
2006-12-27 07:56:43 · answer #9 · answered by freebird 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust is earned, not given. In time your new guy will either earn your trust or not.
2006-12-27 07:56:18 · answer #10 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋