We've been divorced 8 years, have 2 daughters of whom we share custody, & have been able to work past a lot of obstacles to become close friends. There is no romance between us any longer, but we try to do things as a family regularly. For the past 4 or 5 yrs we've worked unbelievably well together raising happy, smart girls. Both of us have been involved with others at several times over the years, but it didn't change the way we co-parented. Then about 1 1/2 yr ago, he started dating a woman who is also divorced with kids & not at all on friendly terms with her ex. She believes that our friendship is "weird" & constantly makes things harder than necessary for us. Up to this point, my ex has let her vent but not changed the way we handle our relationship. Now he has begun to change things, like not discussing decisions about the girls with me. Worse, he won't listen when I try to discuss issues & probs the girls have brought up, blaming me for any probs they may have. What can I do?
2006-12-27 07:32:18 · 8 answers · asked by Zizzy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is sad, very sad. So many people end marriages with children involved in the wrong way and stay hateful and bitter and it only hurts the kids. You and your ex had a very special relationship for the kids after the divorce. That is awesome! Now a new women comes into the picture and is ruining it. Your husband is being a coward and letting his new gf pull him around by his balls. I hope he comes to his senses soon about how hes ******* up things. Unfortuantly there is not much you can do but sit back and hope he comes back to his senses. Good luck!
2006-12-27 07:43:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him, without emotion if possible, that every decision you make apart or together will impact your daughters. Further eplain that until he bagan to see his current girlfriend, the lines of communication between the two of you was much better ( you were on the same page) and you do not want it to break down at the expense of your kids. If that dosen't work, document your effort and how things have changed since he started seeing this woman so that you have some hard evidence when you end up back in court.
2006-12-27 07:45:48 · answer #2 · answered by datingyoungincali 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are going to have to accept the fact that now he is in a relationship with this woman, that is his priority (except where the kids are concerned) and you are not going to be close friends anymore, but in major matters where it concerns the kids, you do still need to have to work together to do what is best for the kids. If the relationship with your ex is serious, you may have to include her in your co-parenting sessions as she will now be part of the kids lives also. Not pleasant or easy to work through, but worth it for the well being of the kids.
2006-12-27 07:43:37 · answer #3 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It might be time to reevaluate your relationship with your ex. You should probably be nothing more than a "business partner in raising your children". It's obvious he can no longer be friends with you since his little head is the one calling all of the shots. I've been here, done that and doing this. Men are not intelligent creatures and if they have someone willing to make their decisions for them, the happier they are. Let him go. Turn him loose. Raise your daughters the way YOU think they should be raised!
2006-12-27 07:42:52 · answer #4 · answered by JJ 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd sit him down and give him a heart to heart... and tell him just how I felt about the situation and make sure he saw the way the girls were being affected by things. If things still kept changing then I would go with it, you get the girls and parent the way you always have, making sure you knew what was always going on with them. I think if you get him alone and explain it to him, make sure he understands its nothing to do with you and him that its all about the girls then I think a reasonable man would understand.
2006-12-27 07:42:48 · answer #5 · answered by Dizzy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is not a darn thing you can do to change the way he acts. The most you could do is try to talk to him about this, but chances are he won't listen to you. He is to busy listening to the trouble making hag of a wife he is married to. She is threatened by your relationship to him and is jealous she doesn't have a good relationship with her ex. The way she deals with this is by imaturely attacking you to him and making him feel like you and his relationship is wrong. She is a witch and is not looking out for the kid's best intrest. Deal with it and by the way...........welcome to the great life of divorce:)
2006-12-27 07:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Time and people change everything. It sounds like this woman is going to stay for a while, and because he likes her, he also is respecting her wishes. You must accept the changes that are coming...because she's going to do everything she can to end your working relationship. Just do the best you can...realize that she's a priority in his life now.
2006-12-27 07:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I HATE HATE the stupid ex-BI**H that my boyfreind was married to. Because she tried to get back with him while I was pregnant with mine and my boyfreinds son. He and her never had kids. But I have a grudge against her. She trated him wrong humiliated him and hit him because she said he wasnt a man because they couldnt have kids, and then she left him for his cousin. Thats why I hate my boyfreinds ex but I dont know what to say about you. If you dont interfere with there relationship then he should be cool with you and your kids are the biggeste reason you all should be cool.
2006-12-27 07:53:54 · answer #8 · answered by sheila850378 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋