Pregnancy after miscarriage...?

Question

A year ago I found out I was pregnant then the very day after telling my boyfriend I had a miscarriage. His reaction to the pregnancy news was total disbelief. He made me take 3 tests to prove it. Then he was devastated when I had the miscarriage.

I found out 2 weeks ago that I am pregnant again. I told him the day I found out and he is 100% excited. I am a little surprised at the difference in reaction but I am happy about it. The issue is even though I know how happy and excited he is this time I find it hard to talk to him about it. When I do find the courage to bring it up he talks with me without hesitation but I still have a fear of talking about it. I think that what I am afraid of is another miscarriage. I think that if I don't talk about being pregnant I can't "jinx" it.

Any thoughts on how to get over this fear?

Answer 1

It's very normal - I still fear a bit for my pregnancy (5w4d along now) because I lost my last one earlier this year to a blighted ovum at 8w3d. I'm almost detached from it other than dealing with all the new pregnancy symptoms because I refuse to believe it until I see something on the ultrasound this time.

I keep telling myself this one is different, all of the symptoms are different, that history need not repeat itself... hearing the heartbeat and seeing the ultrasound will unfortunately be my only reassurances that I have something viable this time around.

Good luck - it's a hard thing to have to go through.

Answer 2

Oh wow do I share this fear with you! I am 12 weeks pregnant and am still scared about having a miscarriage. The thing to remember though is this...cliche, but true...everything happens for a reason, even bad things. If God wants you to have this baby, you will. Just have faith in Him. You can always talk to Him about it. Also, remember to take care of yourself....eat right, get lots of sleep, excercise, don't smoke/stop smoking, don't drink, take prenatal vitamins, etc. That way, should you miscarry, you won't feel as though you are to blame...you'll feel as if you've done everyhing as you should. But talking about the possibility of miscarrying will not make it happen...if it's going to happen, it'll happen, whether you talk about it or not. My mom had a miscarriage before me. When she was pregnant with my little sister, she was actually pregnant with 4, but 3 of them ended up miscarrying. If she hadn't gotten an ultrasound before the D&C, my sister would not be here. So if you think you are miscarrying, go to your MD or the ER RIGHT AWAY! You could be miscarrying and be pregnant at the same time like my mom. Anyway, I hope this helps. Good luck!!

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel. It can be scarey to be pregnant again after a misscairage. I had 2 in a row before this one and am now 33 weeks pregnant. I also was afraid of the "jinx" factor. With my first 2 children I didn't even want to buy anything for fear I would jinx myself.

Don't feel awkward about talking to your b/f, if he's excited then be happy about it... you will need all of his support. Just take good care of yourself and listen to your Dr. and try to stay off your feet as much as possible. Keep yourself calm and relaxed if you can. It's not very common to have 2 miscarraiges in a row so don't worry yourself about it too much.

Congrats!!

Answer 4

I'm so sorry to hear that about your first little one.The exact thing happen to my best friend with her first. She didn't even want to move when she found out she was pregnant again.I am going to be straight up with you,, It's going to be touch and go for both of you, the 'what if and did i' are still only fresh for you and your partner, remember you got your heart ripped out last time, by losing your baby. You will see, when the baby is moving inside and you know its for real, you will be just excited if not more then him. And i hate to say it but you are going to be concern, and have fears the whole way though, and that go's for any mother that is pregnant, we all have those feelings. But darl, you will know deep down if its right,or not, don't take any chances listen to your gut , your a mum now and mum knows best ..But i have a feeling this one is the real deal, it has its brother or sister watching over him,,,GOOD LUCK.. AND ALL THE BEST,,and just take it easy, and get that boy to run you a warm bath and make you a cup of tea ,yeah..

Answer 5

I don't know how to get over the fear, but you aren't alone. I know lots of people who wouldn't even tell any one they were pregnant until after the first trimester because they didn't want to jinx it. Just try to relax and be happy about the baby and be glad that your boyfriend is also excited. You'll probably feel better after you get to hear the heartbeat. Good luck.

Answer 6

Tell him of your fear, which is why you seem hesitant. That way he knows you aren't upset about being pregnant. It's great that he's excited this time. Let him know how happy you are that he's happy.

Once the first trimester passes and you're out of the "danger zone" it should get easier.

Even if you get him to read what you wrote here. sometimes it's easier to tell someone how you feel in writing than it is to tell them out loud.

Congrats! Good luck! and know that your fears are perfectly normal.

Answer 7

I found out that i was pregnant a year ago last Aug. i missed carried in Oct. i then got pregnant in July and i was a nerves wreck i was worried about it all the time. i just stayed calm and i am now six months well i guess what i am trying to say is that just relax and don't worry because if it happens it happens and their is no reason to worry because stressing your self out is not going to help

Answer 8

sometimes there is nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage.
only wemen with serious problems have those twice.( im not saying anything bad toward you)
just have some curage that nothing is going to happen to this one this time.

Answer 9

Just relax don't stress yourself out. It looks like you were meant to be somebody's mama congrats!

Answer 10

The past is the past you won't be able to move on if you do not let go of the past............. Try to think positive.......