My husbands’ mother has made my life hell for the last 5 years. She first started to not like me because I made my now husband choose me over a woman he was sleeping with (he had an affair) and the mother in law liked the other girl better. 3years ago she called cps on me because I was depressed trying to deal with just having my third child and she says since I was sleeping “a lot” that I was abusing my kids so they got taken from me. While I was struggling to get them back out of foster care she calls the case worker talking trash about me on a daily basis. Well I got my kids back in 6 months because I did everything they asked me to do and proved I was a good mother. She stayed out of our lives for two years because it made her mad that my husband asked her to leave me alone. Well now we are in a different state. We moved 1088 miles from her we were getting along great (me and my husband and our kids) then one day my husband gets a call from his mother crying saying where she was living was to abusive for her (her girlfriend got hooked on drugs and she didn’t want to live there anymore) so we let her move in with us I was giving her a second chance since I thought she would be nice since she was in bad situation and we were getting her out of it. Well before she moves in I tell my husband that I do not want her cat to come with her because our son has bad allergies.
She also smokes and since I have lung problems and my son has asthma I asked him if she could smoke out side that’s my only requests. I make him smoke outside and it’s his house. So she gets there and everything I asked for gets thrown out the window. She brought her cat I complained so she said ok fine one day in the house and the cat will stay out in the garage. Never happened for the 20 days she stayed with us that cat was in the house in her room and roaming around when me and my husband were at work.
2006-12-27 06:52:06 · 23 answers · asked by mystic_rage879 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
. Now as soon as she gets to her room I tell her that she will have to smoke out in the garage and she said no that’s not going to work and she and my husband came up with a compromise of there own she smoked in her room with the door closed and window cracked about a quarter thick. I complained every day of her smoking in our house. She also brought weed into our house and smoked in what used to be our daughters room. My husband made a deal with his mother that she could live there for free if she baby sits our kids while we were at work. I didn’t like that so I complained until the day she left. Well even after all this she still talked down to me and talked bad about me to my kids so I asked my husband to ask her to leave. She had one more child living 20 miles away so she could go live there with them. He asked her if she can go stay with his sister and she started crying and saying I can’t believe I worked all those years for you and you are going to kick me out.
2006-12-27 06:52:54 · update #1
So she quilted him into letting her continue to stay there. So I started to speak my mind on everything and that made her mad to be getting the same treatment she was giving me. She told her son I can’t believe you are allowing her to disrespect me like that I never let anyone speak to me this way. Well it all ended when one night she was going on one of her rants about how I am a bad mother and I just went off on her and we were screaming in each others face and she said don’t talk to me and went to her room and slammed the door I went into my kitchen and started cleaning and she came in there as I was walking out and backed me back into the kitchen and I asked her to move she didn’t respond so I tried to walk around her fat *** but I couldn’t and she said don’t touch me and pushed me I pushed her back and she screamed Thomas your wife just hit me and I told her to leave and she said no it’s not your call it’s not your house it’s my son’s house.
2006-12-27 06:53:34 · update #2
Well after all this I was so fed up I told my husband he better choose between me and our children or your mother and to make a longer story short he made his mother leave. Now he acts differently towards me like he is made that I made him choose he thought nothing was wrong with the living situation and he says it was all my fault that I should have tried harder to get along with his mother. What do I do? I am so mad and frustrated at him.
2006-12-27 06:54:01 · update #3
His mother should have been more respectful of your home. She put you in a difficult situation. No smoking in the house means just that. Good luck getting the smell out of that room. My husband doesn't smoke in the house either.. no one does. That's just a total lack of respect. Your conditions were not too much to ask.
2006-12-27 07:07:47 · answer #1 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband knows who and what his mother is. He made the right choice to kick her out. You need to make sure there is never a third chance because that woman is never going to grow up past the emotional age of 15.
You never allow someone to move in after they call CPS on you. That is as good as telling them they were right.
Try to show your husband you love him daily. He just went through a difficult confrontation. He will need some time to get over that. The hard part for you is making sure he knows you love him while he spends a few days or weeks in robot mode after shutting down his emotions so that he could deal with his evil mother. In time the wounds will heal. There will be scars, but he will return to his normal self again.
2006-12-27 07:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by Automation Wizard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the mother-in-law from hell! She had no right to treat you with such disrespect in your own house. Your husband should have thought a bit more about how things might go down considering your history with his mother. She sounds like she is a lunatic. Anyway, it sounds like you did try to accept her despite the circumstances, but it just didn't work out. Your husband probably feels guilty about making his mother leave and so he takes it out on you. Try to sit down and tell him that you didn't mean to hurt him in any way, but you couldn't go on like that. He made the choice to make his mother leave, if he isn't happy with that ask him if he would be any happier if it was the other way around. It sounds like he didn't come from the best background, so there may be some work to do. I hope things work out for you and your kids.
2006-12-27 07:15:11 · answer #3 · answered by L80bug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I could only manage to read half. Good grief! How could you let her come and live with you after she called the cops on you and got your kids taken away. And, btw kids don't get taken from mothers b/c they are "sleeping" alot. Not the whole story on that one....but, you probably had no more room for words. Hell, no she can't smoke in the house! Weed? R you insane? MY gosh...you do love your kids right? She obviously is a terrible role model of a mil. If you are just a generous person and not to blame in the whole "kids got taken from me thing" ...then you're a better person than I am. That too me severs mil and dil ties. R you sure you weren't on Dr. Phil the other day?
2006-12-27 07:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by Hear2Help 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
good for you for speaking your mind. I think your husband needs to realize that his mother is an insane crackhead and give you the respect and appreciation you deserve. I wouldn't have even let her move in if that were me. If he's going to treat you differently because of this, not to mention that he has cheated on you, I would consider seperating from him for a little while. Just to make him see how much he took you for granted. As for the mother in law I would never have any contact with her again. Good luck.
2006-12-27 07:24:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My words, have you thought about a seperation?
This would give you the space you need to realize whether or not you truly do want to grow old with this person, or not. . . And, give him the space to realize the same thing.
I know that separation is a serious-move, but most practical given your current situation of imposed-resentments and what-not. . .
Whatever you decide to do, try to remain positive at all times, and by-all-means live your life for you and your children. Then see what life deals you. . .
Hoping for the best for you and your family : )
2006-12-27 07:09:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you have done all you can do, she clearly has not tried to make her own situation better, let alone respect you. she needs to get it in her head that you and your husband and your family has to come first she has done her part she raised her son, he is a man with a wife and family now and she needs to help herself and stop living off her kids, she had her live and now it is your turn to raise your family with your husband. i would not let her manipulate your husband and family anymore. it seems clear that she will never approve of you but she has no choice but to accept that you are married to her son. try to be as understanding to your husband as you can but remind him that he would not be happy if you allowed your mother to treat him in the way you are being treated, then just ignore what she says. don't put your husband in the middle he will feel torn. if he loves you he will understand.
2006-12-27 07:03:40 · answer #7 · answered by cvgm702 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His mother sounds like a crazy b*tch. I would explain to him that it's not right for children to be brought up around constant fighting. Tell him that she smoked grass, brought allergens into your house when you delliberately asked her not too. Trust me, my grandma and my mom fought like cats and dogs. I'm okay now, but it still is a VERY bad influence on the children and on anyone you know. It is not your fault, your husband needs to understand that before anything.
2006-12-27 07:03:34 · answer #8 · answered by Ali B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not do a thing . be gladthat she is out of your house and your familys . I think that may be your husband thinks that every thing is ok because he is used to his mothers behavior. he may be mad for a little bit but he also might be relieved that it is finally over if he says any thing more about you not trying remind him that you were willing to give her a second chance but she was the one who went back to her old habbits . you did a good thing by sticking to your guns and not budging on the rules for you and your family . WAY TO GO
2006-12-27 07:05:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am happy to hear that he stuck by you and your kids. Maybe his mother is now making his life a living h*ll because of the choice he made. Talk it over with him and see what is going on and don't let it fester. It sounds like his mother is a very abusive person so I wouldn't be surprised if she is now lashing out at him.
2006-12-27 06:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by Mystic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋