I have been in a relationship for 6 years whom we have had 2 children together. We have had our ups and downs But generally its a balanced relationship and have it really good now, we have regular sex , have a new home have money in the bank 2 beauitiful children.
But we are not married and nor are we engaged.
My boyfriend has never put a ring on my finger. He mentions marrage but has never asked me or gave me a ring. I ended up very depressed this Christmas Because he mentioned a ring. I thought maybe the last present I would open would be it.
Im not high matanience I dont get my hair done I dont get my nails done. We have lived very carefully with money. Im 29 now I did gain wait after the children .before them I was tiny and very pretty. I still am and I get carded all the time people tell me I look 23 or so. Please help I need advise. Thankyou
2006-12-27 06:40:59 · 9 answers · asked by kayah29 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why should he get marriad nowZ?, it seems he has it made!
2006-12-27 06:44:43 · answer #1 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand that alot of women out there want to be married, but why? What is the difference in being married to this man as opposed to what you have right now? You have been with him for 6 years, and have already had 2 children together, it seems as if your life is going pretty well at this point. Just let life take its course. If you were meant to get married to this man, you will. If you two are just meant to have the relationship the way it is now, so be it. Don't fix what isn't broken. You don't have to actually legally get married in order to be married. Marriage is a state of mind really. Do you really need that piece of paper that says.....so and so got married on this date....no....as long as you know in your hearts that you love each other and plan to be together for the rest of your lives.....no paper will change that. If you pressure him into marriage, it could possibly ruin things. Just because he doesn't want to get married right now doesn't mean that he loves you any less. Some people are scared of marriage. Especially men, my fiance used to come home from work everyday telling me how the men at work would talk about how their lives changed once they got married. I got married once, and trust me, as much as I tried to make things not change, they did. So, my advise is just let things happen. When he is ready he will propose. Just be yourself and enjoy the life that you have.
2006-12-27 06:51:40 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about how you feel, you both seem commited, have a healthy relationship then he should not have a problem. But he could be one of those guys who likes having a girlfriend, but the thought of a wife suffocates him. He might feel having a GF he still can get out, but having a wife make it difficult. Some people thing marriage is a big commitment, but with 6 years invested and 2 kids your as good as married, why don't you get him a ring and propose to him, why wait for him.
2006-12-27 07:06:24 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously there is no need for you two to be married. It's sounds like a successfult relationship the way it is. Why risk ruining it by considering marriage? You may already be considered married if common law marriage exists where you live. If it's something you really want, then asks yourself why and what your expectations would be. Your mate should do the same for why he does or doesn't.
Are you happy? If you are I suggest not letting any marriage pressures into your relationship.
2006-12-27 06:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by Carp 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to be married? How would it change things?
I think your best bet is to accept this relationship and that it is not marriage but pretty darn close. I am in the same situation, very happy relationship and he has mentioned it but seems to have no interest in getting married. so what is the big deal? why is marriage important or what you want? what is missing out of the relationship because it is not there? You just have to think about how important is marriage to you really. consider asking him frankly about it, talking to him about his feelings about why that is not something he is pursuing. listen carefully and learn. don't try to make him change or tell him your feelings. just try to understand.
2006-12-27 06:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my sister has been with her boyfriend for 13 years and have 2 children and he has told her that she hasn't earned an engagement ring and has no intention of marrying her. I don't know what to tell her and the same goes for you. you are in a very tough situation with no possible answer is going to make you feel better, sorry.
2006-12-27 06:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. D. AKA Evil Woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to talk to him about getting married. Tell him you want to get married and see how he feels about it. At this point, neither of you can speak for the other in an emergency without a bunch of legal papers drawn up. I think its time that you get married for your kids too.
2006-12-27 06:45:14 · answer #7 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line, hon: If you are good enough to sleep with him, good enough to be by his side, good enough to make a home with him, good enough to provide a loving environment in which to raise your children together , good enough to parent his children, you sure as hell are good enough to be his wife. What IS his problem????
Marriage is the statement to all the world of your commitment to each other, and to the children you have together..to provide a loving home and a loving relationship of trust, communication, tolerance, admiration and respect........ Marriage is a loving thing......I
2006-12-27 06:54:08 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him whats going on be straight out with him just like you where with the rest of us...Just ask him if he is ever going to marry you!Good Luck
2006-12-27 06:44:39 · answer #9 · answered by R.J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋