My ex and I came to an agreement about parenting time and child support, we by passed the friends of the court. For five years everything has been great. We have moved on with our lives, worked well when it comes to the kids, until April of this year;when my ex lost his father. He now wants more time with the kids to help on his farm and he wants to lower the child support. I don't feel support should be changed. My husband now, pay for health insurance on the kids, there is no change in parenting time, and the kids are getting older and more expensive. How do i get him to stop harrassing me about it in front of the kids. He is too cheap to take me to court and i don't feel the need to take hime to court to change things.
2006-12-27 06:17:19 · 21 answers · asked by Barb 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Everything is legal and in writing. So there would have to be a change to the support order. We just don't use the state system. Support goes from his account to my account each month.
2006-12-27 06:26:43 · update #1
I real just want him to stop bothering me in front of the kids. It really up sets them.
2006-12-27 06:30:08 · update #2
When he starts to engage in this behavior leave the situation. Make him leave your house or you leave whever you two are at. Walk away and ignore it. He is wrong to even mention this stuff infront of the kids no matter how old they are. It will make your children feel guilty and sad because mom and dad are fighting over the cost of raising them. Your currrent husband insures the kids which is something your ex would be required to do if yall went to court so he is lucky there. Yes kids get more expensive as they get older. I know mine are 11 and 16. Some men treat child support as a payment for a babysitter. This is wrong. It takes alot to raise a child as they grow older the costs increase. He should be thankful the kids have a great mother and step-father to raise and support them as well as the money he sends in. I got off base here sorry. Main line is, don't engage in these arguments with him, it's not healthy. If he has that big of a problem he can take it to court. But if he does it could backfire on him. The courts will make him insure the kids and his support amount could very well increase also now that they are older. When the courts are involved they re evaluate the child support every 2 years. Good luck!
2006-12-27 06:29:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to accept that your husband is not going to stop doing this infront of the kids. He is just making an idiot out of himself by complaining about paying for the kids infront of them. If you truely want him to continue what he's paying, then you must take him to child support. You can take your legal document stating the agreement you both came to and the judge will take it from there. No judge in this land will allow your husband to cut child support so he can force his kids to labor his fathers' farm. You need to stop being so "nice" to this man and explain to him that the money is for the children and they are in desperate need of it. There shouldn't be anything left to discuss, but he sounds like he is going to continue until you give in. Good luck and I hope you wake up and realize you are going to have to get the legal system involved at some point. Thank you.
2006-12-27 06:34:30 · answer #2 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child Support is really based on income and amount of time with each parent. A lawyer will try and tell you they can help you.. but really it all comes down to income and time with the kid... so you would be wasting money using a lawyer. its best if you two can come to an agreement and just have it registered with the courts... if you cant agree they will most likely use the guidelines... again based on income.. so not to much a lawyer can do and i dont know why people said its only based on the fathers income because i have YET to see a child support worksheet that does not ask for both the custodial and non custodial parents income
2016-03-29 08:25:37 · answer #3 · answered by Amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this issue with my exhusband, and I ended up filing with Domestic Relations to have them set child support. When the figure the court recommended was sent to him he readjusted his attitude real quick. The recommended child support was more than double the amount that I agreed to during our divorce.
I agreed to continue to accept our agreed upon amount, and he agreed to basically shut up. So far it's worked for 4 years!
Child support is not a means for woman to "maintain their lifestyle" with the kids as an excuse. That's a pathetic and narrow-minded thing to say. Children cost money, and one parent should not bear the entire financial responsibility. Child support never covers 50% of the money required to raise a child.
Try to find out how much the court would order him to pay and give him the option - pay up or shut up.
2006-12-27 06:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by Susie D 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, talk to him about how it bothers you when he brings up support and all that in front of the kids. Tell him you'll talk about it, but just not in front of them. Maybe you should just go to court and let a judge decide. I personally think if he's wanting more time with them you should let him have it. How many guys do you know are willing to spend more time with their kids?
2006-12-27 06:46:45 · answer #5 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he brings it up tell him that you feel you are entitled to an increase. After all, it has been 5 years and kids and the cost of living get more expensive as time passes. That should shut him up.
2006-12-27 06:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your shoes and what worked for me was telling him that if he did not respect my wishes that I would take it to court and let them decide. He pretty much went along with me after that since he knew he was paying less than what the state would make him pay for support!
2006-12-27 06:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by Mystic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the guy a little slack. You are already married and settled. He's been good for it for the last five years. Losing a parent is extremely stressful and he wants to see the kids more. At least he asked you rather than stopping the payments all together. He could have been a real irresponsible jerk from the beginning and not paid at all.
2006-12-27 06:33:42 · answer #8 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
OK here's how you get him to stop bugging you...lower payments or go to court. If you don't it seems to me you want it to remain negotiable. As a male though I've never had to pay child support I've always found it favors the women in maintaining a lifestyle with kids as an excuse. Work it out or get a court to.
2006-12-27 06:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by father of 4 husband of 1 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yep...court, darlin'. Do you have the current agreement in writing? What's to keep him from just starting to pay you less on his own? Doesn't sound like anything is binding. Time to make it messy...he'll probably be too cheap to hire his own lawyer and you'll have the safety net of the court if he defaults.
2006-12-27 06:26:58 · answer #10 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋