So I have this friend that I've known since middle school. We've always had an on and off friendship. She lives in FL right now and shes having issues with her live in boyfriend. He wont leave, regardless of how many times she asks him to. Note this is her mothers house. I've told her to get him out but her excuse is she wants to but cant because he helps pay some of the bills (even though getting the money is like pulling teeth). So she sent me a text over the holiday telling me she needed to get away and if I could tell my friends her situation and then ask them to pitch in some money to pay for her plane ticket which she doesnt even plan on paying anyone back. Shes always been the type to use people. It had been so long though I thought she changed.I figure its her situation and she has her own friends in FL, so why not ask them? I would give her the money if I had it but I dont and neither does any of our mutual friends here since we're all college students barely making any money.
2006-12-27 06:15:16 · 27 answers · asked by TheLight 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Your friend could use a reality check. First off, she shouldn't have moved her deadbeat boyfriend into her parents house, financial problems or not. If they really want him out there is always eviction court or the police. Tell your friend if she needs time out take it at home and use that time to get a better handle on her world and her life. She should stop mooching off of others and get a job (or a better one).
2006-12-27 06:29:16 · answer #1 · answered by Rosebudd 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know what you mean. It can really suck when your friends mooch all the time. Especially when they're constantly getting themselves between a rock and a hard place and expecting you to fix their mistakes.
A lot of people told you just to chill, but it's okay that you're not exactly happy with this situation. I can't blame you. Friends aren't supposed to act like that; it's supposed to be a mutual support relationship.
I suggest to her that if she can get half of the money for the ticket that you would talk to your friends and see what you could do about getting the other half. If she agrees to it and you can raise the other half, have her send her half of the money to you so YOU can purchase the ticket. Then, if she changes her mind, you and/or your friends won't be out of some cash.
If you don't want to help pay for any of the ticket, tell her you don't have the cash and you highly doubt any of your other firends have it either. However, offer her a place to stay and let her know that she's welcome. Then she won't feel angry or hurt.
Hope everything works out for you.
2006-12-27 15:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by *Kelly June* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend has some issues. She should take a day off from work gather all of his things put them outside and change the locks. She should also notify the authorities she is doing this and that he is no longer welcome in her home. She should then run an ad in the local newspaper and interview and do background checks on suitable, employed potential room-mates to help with the bills. Once she does this she should be able to save enough money to come and see her friends. She needs to stand up for herself and not be bullied by this man. Life is all about choices, she just has to make the right choice for her.
2006-12-27 14:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by jenrickbelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all it is very bold of her to ask you to ask YOUR friends to pich in money for her. I say that it is her problem that she got herself into, so let her deal with it. If she is usually the type to use people then I wouldnt put it past her to use the money to get away for a little while then go right back. Alot of females are like this. They realize that they want out, but also recognize the fact that even a little help financially is nice to have. So they put up with being unhappy until someone else comes along that offers more.
2006-12-27 14:24:43 · answer #4 · answered by jackiemontgomer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bc i am a person that is easily angered i will say this in a way i would want some one to say to me if i was in this situation....... that is your friend & her dumbass boyfriend doesnt get the hint i know how it fills for someone to use you it pisses you off & you are probly at your wits ends & your about to give up on her ... DONT she needs your help give her some more advice tell her she aint goin nowhere till she gets that damn bum out of her mommas house!!!!!!!! then tell her she will have to save her own money for tickets to come see you but when she get here that you promise you got her back i know money can get tight but start puttin a little back every week i mean your gonna want to see her i know you probly miss her then once she gets there you will understand why you saved that money good luck :)
2006-12-27 14:23:00 · answer #5 · answered by being patient with love♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help it if you or your friends don't have the money to help her out. I know you'd like to help her but sometimes people drift apart as far as friendships go. If she won't get her live-in boyfriend out of her house after you adviced her to then it's her loss even though she should listen if he's no good but all you could do is try and if you don't have the money to help her get away then you can't help that and she'd have to accept that or not.
2006-12-27 14:22:34 · answer #6 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her just that: "I would give her the money if I had it but I dont and neither does any of our mutual friends here since we're all college students barely making any money"
I don't blame you for being angry. Jeez, some people are such users. Users=Losers
2006-12-27 14:17:43 · answer #7 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to pay for her own plane ticket. If she has a job then she can work till' she make enoguh money. Why is she asking you? She should ask her friends that live near her. She is taking advatage of you
2006-12-27 14:23:08 · answer #8 · answered by DaNiElLe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not help this mooch in any way! If you help her it's enabeling her bad choices. She can have him removed - she just doesn't want to. If someone is living in your house unwanted the police can come and make them leave, change your locks, etc. She is running from the situation because she is too immature to deal with it. Don't help her in any way. Be a friend yes, but don't enable her.
2006-12-27 14:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your best bet is to wipe your hands clean of this person. it seems as you if have a good head on your shoulders and you really don't need anyone pulling you down. if you could talk to your friend and express your concerns, she may see whats going on..but remember..LOVE IS BLIND!!! let her know that you at this point and time in your life, it would be beneficial to you to let her go (for now) but that you will be there for her if she needs an ear, but as long as she is not helping herself, you cant put yourself in a bind... if someone has to borrow money, you can bet your *** they will never be able to pay you back!
2006-12-27 14:19:49 · answer #10 · answered by Joannie W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋