NO luck with the more masculine sex as far as dating. Difficult to build relationships with people. I have one friend whom I've known for 6 years but at times I feel that I can't relate to her at all. I have two associates that I could be closer to by now but for both of them when i planned to spend time with them something horrible has happened. The first one had two deaths in his family since I've know him and his grandmother was recently hospitalized, I've known him for 4 months. For the second guy his father just had a neurological stroke, during christmas break, how screwed up is that? I feel like I'm just bad luck and not meant to get close to anyone I feel so alone. And boy do I know i'm self absorbed but I've been alone like this my entire life. Even as a small child. So yes I do think about myself alot. I'm sorry, but can anyone relate a little?
2006-12-27 06:12:29 · 4 answers · asked by Jane 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I know exactly how you feel, when you grow up independent you tend to worry alot more about yourself than others. You just gotta slow that down a little and put other people in front of you from time to time, it feels really good, trust me! I'm very soft hearted and a great friend to everyone, always willing to help others out, even at my own cost. But a lot bad has happened to me and I wonder why when I do so much. But what I've come to realize is that you and I are not being punished, it's just life. Stuff like that happens all the time and we can't let it bring us down. I'm very afraid of getting close to anyone because I don't want to get hurt. I've lost 4 family members and two close friends over the last 3 years. It was really hard and I don't know why it happened, but it did. Just know that it doesn't matter how much bad happens to you, something good will come. There isn't anything wrong with caring about yourself too much, just remember that other people need you as well. I know right now with all this happening you feel like you shouldn't be here, or when is something good going to happen or should you just give up on everything because I've thought that from time to time. But then I start giving to others and feel better, because my gift from that is people's trust and knowing that they are that much happier because of me! Don't let these things bring you down because you will only fall further into the whole. When someone throws a rock at you, pick it up, look at it a little, put it back down smile and keep walking. You will feel better afterwards.
2006-12-27 06:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by Steve S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I can certainly relate. I always feel like I bring bad luck to anyone who comes in contact with me. They always seem to be doing pretty well socially and professionally and then I come into their lives.
I think what really happens though, is that these things would have happened and did happen before I came along. It's just my insecurities, low self esteem and low self image, . . . low self period makes me cling on to these things to affirm all the negative things I feel about myself.
In other words, I only see the negative things that happens around them and make it be because they know me. There fore I complete that cycle or start that cycle of self sabotaging my own existance.
If it's possible and you can get past your insecurities and fear of becoming close to someone, you mentioned a lot of opportunities available to be there for the individuals you wrote about. They all seem like they could use a friend right now.
2006-12-27 14:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by briardan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! I can relate.
As far as men go...
who knows if its the odds
that our lifestyles today make it harder to really get to know one another at a personal level, enough to build a connection.
As far as those 2 go; perhaps if u had known them longer, u would have been included as part of their support system in their time of need.
Sometimes I wonder if it is something about me? About them? Or, something in the universe conspiring to further my (dare I be a single person, alone and say...) loneliness?
And Y do people need for me to pretend like people who are alone do not feel lonely sometimes?
Bad luck, no luck, it's not just u
2006-12-27 14:19:23 · answer #3 · answered by ritestateofmind 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not sure about the universe being against me, but the world seems to be against me at the present, no mattter what i do, how much i help people, give everything that i hold dear, or all my money from my account, it is never enough!!! People who i thought were my bestest friends ever, have dumped on me, and people who swore that they would stand by me, have left toot sweet...so yes i know exactly where you are coming from....
2006-12-27 14:24:02 · answer #4 · answered by jesse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋