what should I do?

Question

My wife and I are married for about 2 years now, we have been together for 8 years total. We both have started going to bible study since may. recently she has not been wanting to have sex. because she doesnt feel its right. she says we were not married in god there for untill we go through christian marrage counsoling and are married into gods eyes she doesnt want to have sex. I think it rediculous we are legally married on paper. i feel like leaving, not just because of this but are relationship is really bad and this is the icing on the cake what should i do

Answer 1

You shouldn't leave your wife just because she won't sleep with you. Maybe you should just do what she want's if thats what she feels she needs to do then just do it.

Answer 2

if sex is the only thing keeping you together and the lack of it is breaking you apart then you have bigger issues to deal with than that. one thing you did not say once was that you loved her and wanted the relationship to work. it appears she has been convicted strongly about not marrying in the eyes of god and you may think its ridiculous but its important to her and therefore should be important to you. and too whats important to you should be to her...perhaps the counseling is a good idea and having a ceremony and retaking your vows may well be the best thing you've ever done for your relationship for both of you. anyway, value her for more than just what she gives you and tell her if its important to her then you'd like to plan a small ceremony to reaffirm your vows and do it in the eyes of god. the really nice thing about meeting her halfway like this is you will show her that you value her and your relationship beyond just sex and it will show once you start your new life together in christ. in all ways and including sex. what you have to consider is are you willing to give up 8 yrs of what seems like a very important relationship for something that can so easily be remedied. this could be a wonderful time of renewal for you, her, your marriage and your family. have a small service at your new church and a party after, it will be a great example to others and make everyone feel good. a very small price to pay if you ask me.

Answer 3

I guess I dont fully understand. You have a marriage certificate, but were not married by a minister/priest?
From all you say, your marriage has been on a rocky road. Thus this may simply be a reason for her NOT to fullfill another part of the marriage vows. To prove it further, if you were NOT married by a minister/priest, I would see to it. Then you would know for sure that you've done all possible.

Answer 4

Sounds like you all need to do the counseling, I wish I would've done it! But, even if your married at the court house it's through God. Goodness, talk to whoever is teaching the class to straighten this out... miscommunication. If you are not happy, it may be something that may pass. 8 years is awhile, don't rush out too fast and do something you'll regret.

Answer 5

She sounds like a quack to me. Tell her that even the bible writes that a woman should not withhold intimacy from her husband.

I say make a break for it - she isn't interested anymore and is using this as an excuse. Don't believe the hype about she doesn't think the lord approves, she is probably cheating.

Answer 6

If you love her try to work it out. If it's Gods blessing she wants ask her to pray about it, ask for forgiveness if she feels she and you have sinned and try to get on with saving whats left of your marriage. But if the two of you agree it's over then part friends. Good Luck

Answer 7

You know.. it sounds like you guys need counseling anyway. If you love her, why not humor her. It can't hurt. At least you would know that you've done all you could to save the marriage if you did decide to leave. I'm sorry friend.. that's tough. I wish you well.

Answer 8

How are you not married in god? If you did a wedding you are married and it should be recognized as such. I think your wife should talk to her pastor and get her information straight!

Answer 9

Great...here's what you've got to look forward to....a bible-thumping wife who consents to sex (only in the missionary position because other positions are "sinful") because its her "duty". Forget about oral sex...I'd run for the door and never look back....

Answer 10

first off you should try to fix whatever is making your realtionship bad and also wait for sex it will come when it is ready