I hang out with people of a different ethnicity and so the situation occurs quite often. I've been in a car with two friends who started speaking in their native tongue to each other, all the while I'm completely out of the conversation. When I ask about the conversation they provide a cursory answer and stop talking altogether. It's like they're annoyed I want to be part of the discussion.
What's worse is when we're hanging out and they sort of make quick statements to each other in their native language, look at me, and snicker. When I ask what's up they reply with a "Oh, it's nothing."
To me it seems rude and makes people feel estranged and uninterested in what's going on. Not to mention how crappy it feels knowing people don't care how you feel or don't want to act considerate towards you.
2006-12-27 06:01:53 · 25 answers · asked by startedtravelling06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I don't care what age you are that is rude. I can't stand it when people do it. It is as bad as whispering...clearly you think they are talking about you...or why would they not say it in english?
Edit~Oh not everyone is stupid...I know enough to know what people are saying and it usually floors them when I talk back to them in their language.
Also NAME calling isn't needed there pendejo. ;)
2006-12-27 06:05:19 · answer #1 · answered by ~Just A Girl~ 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it is very rude for them to speak in their native language around you. If they aren't talking about YOU then there is no need to speak in 'code'. They should be speaking English so you can understand and be part of the conversation if you want to. That is just rude. I hate when people do that. The conversation could be completely innocent but how are you to know since you can't understand what they are saying. Makes you feel very insecure and wonder if they really are talking about you. If they were truly friends then they would respect you and speak English so you can understand them and not feel left out.
2006-12-27 14:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by Photochic 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think that it's ok to do that. I am asian and i speak few different languages. I feel like if i were with my white friends and i am speaking other language with other friends that understand, it's so rude. I understand though sometimes it's easier for some people to express themselves in their own language, but it's so not right to be having conversation in other language especially when you are out with your friend.
You can try to let your friends know that you don't feel comfortable with that, and give them example : Say if you go to a different country, and for someone reason, the native people there start speaking in their language and looking at you, of course you won't feel comfortable.
I think that your friend may not understand the right manor, but they prolly a bit ignorant. They should understand that and not to speak their own language if they are among other friends.
2006-12-27 14:07:07 · answer #3 · answered by B-D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think when people speak a foreign lang. around someone who does not undertand it, makes them feel left out. You don't know if they are talking about you or what. I think there is nothing wrong with talking in a foreign lang., but it should be used at certain times. Not to talk about on another or anything. They should be considerate towards you. I mean since you are their friend, they should at least have some respect for you.
2006-12-27 14:09:33 · answer #4 · answered by hearts101 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes what happens is that they forget and start speaking their native language without even realizing it. This is still not justifiable and still is considered rude. My native language is not English and i do admit it happens with me, when i meat someone who speaks my language, i start to babble with him in front of my other friends, but as soon as i remember i switch to English and try to explain everything for them. In my opinion if they keep on doing it it is impolite and either they are talking about you negatively or they are not respecting your wishes. My advice... ask them frankly to stop doing that or they are not the type of friends you want to hang around.
2006-12-27 14:12:30 · answer #5 · answered by balbossa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, that is a bummer sometimes, especially when they can keep you in the dark. I guess what you are finding out is how much they are really your "friends". If they really were your friends or are caring for your interests they wouldn't mess with your brain and emotions not to mention how they may be defrauding you or worse. Good luck, but if will be finally up to you if you want to still be with them or whether to find nicer people to associate with.
2006-12-27 14:07:14 · answer #6 · answered by dumb 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that it is fine to speak a foreign lang around friends as long as they don't lead u 2 believe that they r talkin about u. me and 1 of my bffs both speak polish, and we sometimes speak it in school. our friends get confused, but we make sure they know its nothing bad about them. then if they really want 2 know, we will do a brief translation. then the friend we usually speak polish in front of confuses us w/ her accent and british phrases. if you really feel unsure of what they are saying, ask them to give u lessons in the lang, so sometimes u can join in the convo
hope this helps<3
2006-12-27 15:53:26 · answer #7 · answered by iANNA! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is incredibly rude...I find it happens in the stores and when I am a customer it really annoys me....my feeling is if you are living in this country then speak the language when you are around others...what anyone does in their own home is their business.....
2006-12-27 14:07:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If I were in your place I will say that if you both want to talk secrets or things that I shouldn't hear,then speak later and talk in common language ,so I can also chat with you.
2006-12-27 14:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by nirash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rude.
I am all for ethnicity, but to not include you in the conversation and seem put off when you ask about the conversation shows me that they are rude and inconsiderate of your feelings.
Sounds like you need new friends.
2006-12-27 14:06:29 · answer #10 · answered by sandilo 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i actually have the same problem with my boyfriend, he speaks Creole , a language that is practially unteachable. We've broken up several time because he speaks his language to his people who can speak english. It is rude to speak ur language in front of your friends expecially if the person you are talking to speaks english. Besides English is our official language over her in America!
2006-12-27 14:06:56 · answer #11 · answered by LC 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋