Ok I am 25, I graduated college, I just got an ok job and i just bought a small new car. I still live with my parents but I am moving out in about 3 weeks. I am sooo afraid to tell them that I am having a baby. I feel like I am going to be a huge disappointment because I'm not married and I dont have a house. I am going to be living with my boyfriend and his parents do not know yet either... UGHhhh any sugesstions or similiar situations?
2006-12-27 05:56:45 · 23 answers · asked by Andrea C 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Be thankful for the positive. You're an adult. You have a job. You are not alone. You have the father of your baby to share this with. If your parents get disappointed, don't worry they'll get over it. They'll be so excited to have a grandchild. The baby will help smooth things over and bring you all closer together. Congratulations and good luck! Take care of yourself and your soon to be born child.
2006-12-27 06:03:33 · answer #1 · answered by avenus 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly normal. But you sound as if you really have it together. I can remember not wanting to tell my parents when I was pregnant with our last child even when I was almost 30. They seem to think only children are the only way. It was ridiculous because we'd been married and on our own for years, yet I still let them have this power over me.
Congratulations, I wish you all the best. It's best to get it over with as soon as possible, the longer you wait the more you dread it and that stress isn't good for you or your child.
There is a great book on Healthy Boundaries, it covers all kinds of relationships, parents, spouse, boss, etc. It really helped me a lot. I am not a big self help book person, but my Mother's best friend recommended it to me, she is a counselor. She knew I needed to draw some boundaries now that I was an adult. It has helped me in other areas as well. It's worth looking over.
Boundaries Face to Face: How to Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding
by Henry Cloud, John Townsend
Most major libraries have it, you can also find it on amazon.
There is also a great website healthyboundaries.com
2006-12-29 12:14:55 · answer #2 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm actually a little surprised at how many people in their 20's are afraid of disappointing their parents because they are pregnant. Things happen. I'm 19, and got pregnant while on birth control pills. Fortunately I am very happily married.
But still, at 19, and still in college, both mine and my husbands families were thrilled, and we didn't hesitate at all to tell them the news. My family would be disappointed if I dropped out of college, or was a drug addict or something, but why on earth would anyones parents be disappointed about you bringing life into the world.
Life is not always meant to be planned down to every last detail. Enjoy your blessings. Your parents will come around. You're an adult, and this is YOUR life.
2006-12-27 06:10:44 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs.Gaddis 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was 21 when I got preggo with my son, and was in a similar situation. My boyfriend and I hadn't been going out that long, and my parents barely knew him.
We took them out to dinner and told them we were getting married, but planned to wait until after the baby was born. My mom was disappointed at first, but she got over it soon. I don't think my dad was upset, just concerned that my boyfriend and I might not stick together.
Well, three years later, I have a great job, my husband and I are happy, and we're looking into buying a house this spring. I know everyone doesn't have a happy ending, but I think mine turned out pretty well! If you're willing to work hard, I think anyone can make a happy ending.
P.S. I wouldn't change anything now!
2006-12-27 06:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by Lucie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 23 and married. I have a three year old, a six month old, and I found out when the youngest was 5 month es old that I am pregnant again. I am nervous but excited. We told both sets of parents and my in-laws are thrilled, my mother not so much. I finally figured out I cannot please everyone. I do the best I can, which I think is pretty darn good!! I am an full-time enrolled honor roll student at the community college, I work part-time (3 days/week), take great care of my two children and husband, and keep my house clean. If my mother (or your parents) cannot support my choices (which seem to be working out pretty well) I/you simply cannot let her/them pull my/your spirits down. You simply need to decide whether you are please or not and go with your own feelings. You should make a plan and do your very best to stick to it and eventually you will reassert their faith and belief in you. Above all you have to believe in yourself.
2006-12-27 08:22:17 · answer #5 · answered by fairychic77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you don't have the traditional 50's family, you shouldn't be ashamed. and don't let anyone on here persuade you otherwise.
Tell your parents in a positive way, if you are excited then don't be afraid to be excited in front of them. If you set it up as something negative, they will react negatively too.
Also, don't be too upset if they bring up the downsides to being pregnant now. Understand they only want the best for you and they want everything to be their definition of perfect.
I'm 25, married, have a good job, but was still lectured about what I need to do before having a baby by some of my family.
In the end, they'll be happy and love their grandchild regardless.
2006-12-27 06:05:56 · answer #6 · answered by sheldwyn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation when I was 25 and 1 month pregnant. I knew my dad would be upset because I just finished school and got married but didn't have a job yet or anything. I figured I had to tell him either way so I just came out with it on the phone one day and he didn't really say too much so we ended the conversation but then he called me back that day and was really excited from then on he has been amazing and my daughter is 18months now but he is so happy how everything worked out. Don't be freaked out and try to keep it from them because they have to find out eventualy and they would be more upset if you didn't tell them at the beginning. They may surprise you and be really supportive and helpful, don't keep them out of it, it wont be that bad as you are already expecting the worse.
2006-12-27 06:06:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 23 and have two children. I'm not even going to go into how it went when I told I was pregnant with my first (looong story) Anyway I was 22 years old and already had a 2 year old son when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. We own our own home (it's a mobile home) and I was still upset and scared to tell my mom. We always had money troubles so I guess I was afraid of her thinking we couldn't do it. I think that no matter how old you are you are always afraid of letting your parents down. You just have to be straight forward and tell them. At first they might lecture but you will feel better once you get it out. And plus if they do have a problem with it, it's better to get it out now so that they have more time to deal with it before the baby gets here.
2006-12-27 06:11:38 · answer #8 · answered by Kristin R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant when I was 21 was in engaged to be married, and was scared to death to tell my mom. When I did she stopped talking to me for two weeks and the whole time I was pregnant she had a way of getting her op ions across like how disappointed she was yet now she is so thankful and love my son. He was born on her birthday so they will always have a special bond. I am sure you will get the same responses disappointment because that's just part of a parent but I would tell your parents you might be surprised of the reaction you get. God bless you.
2006-12-27 06:04:09 · answer #9 · answered by Marina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Out of respect for your parents and his parents you should let both sets know, are you planning on marrying the bf. It looks like you have done everything correct up to now. Legally you are an adult and basically do what you want to do. You can't disappoint your parents at this point in your life. Have a happy life.
2006-12-27 06:23:57 · answer #10 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋