do you believe???

Question

do you believe in sex before marraige? what about oral? how many of you are still virgins and plan on staying that way until your married? is it worth the wait? i think it would be but want other peoples opinions.

Answer 1

A lot of people have weighed in, but here's my two cents:

I don't believe in sex before any strong, deep, loving commitment. That's not to say that I frown on it for anyone else- there are people who engage in sex before they have that connection, and there are some who do it never intending to at all (like anonymous or casual sex, f*ck buddies, prostitutes, threesomes, etc.), and it works for them. If it does- fantastic! I just feel, for most people, me included, sex is at is best when it is between people who know and care for one another deeply. Not only is it more 'practical' in terms of being able to know each other's bodies, likes, dislikes, how to tease and please them (I imagine it must be hard to really do that in a one-night stand), but there's the added bonus of the emotional connection, which is like icing on the cake.

I don't believe you have to be married to have sex. What is marriage but a piece of paper saying you're devoted to one another? It doesn't stand for much of anything (as numerous divorces would attest to); rather, it is the concrete representation of a sentiment. If you have that feeling in your heart- if you are deeply devoted and lovingly committed to that person, then you are 'married in spirit', so to speak, and I wouldn't frown on anybody who had premarital sex. How to know when you've come to that point of having the connection is difficult- when is it infatuation? lust?, but when you know, you know, and oftentimes, people choose that time to get married, although they don't have to. I do believe, however, that a lot of people jump the gun in order to have sex, you know? To me, the wait is proof of your dedication, your acknowledgement that the person you want to be with is more than a sexual body, but someone with a mind, spirit, heart, emotions, and value. There's this new trend of people wanting to 'test drive' before marriage, to have sex to make sure it's good. If that isn't reducing your relationship to prostitution, I don't know what is. There is no such thing as a innately good lover; what makes sex good is when your partner cares about your pleasure and seeks to make it so by listening to you and your body, sharing with you, and responding in bed. If you both are willing to do that for one another, the sex will be phenomenal, believe me.

There's also that nebulous line of where to stop. What is sex? Are we going by Bill Clinton's definition? It saddens me to know that there are so many kids out there who think oral sex somehow doesn't constitute sex. And I agree, it is hard to figure out where to draw the line- at dry humping? feeling someone up? a little oral pleasure?, but to me, taking somebody's genitals into your mouth is a very intimate act. I think that's what I myself define virginity as. Technically, by dictionary definition, it's penis-in-vagina (or whatever version works for you and your partner's gender), but in my mind, it's connective acts of intimacy expressed in a physical way, and that's definitely sex to me.

So all in all, I am a virgin (20 years old) and I plan to stay that way until I find the perfect guy or girl and have that connection. More than likely, it will be after marriage (heck, I'm a stickler for romance, and there's something about the wedding night . . .). That doesn't mean I'm prudish- I love thinking about sex, talking about it, watching or reading it, masturbating, and I want my guy/gal to know that I'm crazy about them and that it's okay for us both to acknowledge that we can't wait to get into each other's pants . . . but we're going to. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?

Answer 2

That is a very individual thing. There is no way that anyone can decide for another. I don't really see a problem with sex before marriage if it is right for the couple involved.

As most gay people around the country cannot legally marry, I will assume that you are talking about a commitment ceremony.

If you are talking about M/F marriage, then I will say this... Every time you have sex, even with birth control, there is a possibility of pregnancy. If you aren't willing to take that on, then don't have sex. Also, don't have sex with a person that you don't feel would be an appropriate father for your child for the same reason.

Answer 3

No.I don't believe in sex before marriage.I don't know how anyone could "believe" in an action.You either "do" it or you "don't".I feel that marriage is often over rated and many people who wait to have sex until after marriage often end up cheating and having miserable relationships.In the old days discussion about such things was taboo.But today I can honestly tell you that the more taboos you place on something the more people are going to want to do them.

And I am not sure how this has anything to do with the GLBT community.This is a relationship and dating question.

Answer 4

Well, my wife and I lived together for nearly 20 years before getting married, so I'd say sure. Go for the before marriage sex.

I do however think it's worth waiting until you find someone you 'click' with.

After all, sex is one of the greatest 'sharing' things you can do. You wouldn't share your money, your car or your trust with a stranger would you? So find someone you care about before you share!

And as for oral, isn't that a kind of sex too? Otherwise it'd be like eating the icing but saying I'm saving the cake for later!?

So my advice is make the first time special. You only get it once! After that hell, suit yourself, just take care!

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Answer 5

I'd say I don't believe in sex before a very stable, loving relationship. Waiting until the piece of paper is signed seems like a mere formality to me, but I think it is important that people wait for someone they truly love and intend to marry. Oral sex for me falls under the same umbrella - wait basically, if not for marriage for a relationship you know is going to be a long one.

All the people I know who I've talked to about this wish they'd waited for someone they loved more, or for someone they'd known longer or felt more committed to or something.

So I agree with you - I'd say it is worth the wait - virginity is a gift you can give, give it to someone special, not just anyone. I'm sure your eventual partner would appreciate it.

I'm a virgin. And I'm going to wait until I'm in a long-term, healthy relationship - maybe until my wedding night, but maybe not. Whichever - virginity is not something I want to give up lightly.

Answer 6

I don't believe in sex for the sake of sex. Sex should have meaning and be an expression of intimacy with someone special. Marriage, until it is available to everyone then I feel the no sex before marriage is simply an outdated restriction which unfairly inhibits human interaction and has no real relevance.

Answer 7

hi i was raised in a religion that we had to wait till we were married, but i rebeled, now 20 years on i can honestly say if ihad married someone without sleeping with them then it would be divorce and is that what marraige is about. Im not saying sex is everything but if you are both opposite in that department it will put a drain on your relationship, so try before you buy hun xx

Answer 8

by using fact the angel Gabriel informed me that Jimmy Carter will grow to be the Antichrist aka Dajjal (8th King in Rev. 17) and he will serve yet another term in place of work after the dying of Obama (seventh king). The angel Gabriel informed me in Aug. 1973 while i replaced into in Phillipsbrug, Montana that Jimmy Carter will grow to be the Anti-Christ, and that he is going to alter his call, and divorce his spouse! Obama is going to die first and then the Anti-Christ aka Dajjal who replaced into between the previous 7 Presidents will take his place! Rev. 17:10 And there are seven kings: 5 are fallen, and one is, [and] the different isn't yet come; and while he cometh, he could proceed a quick area. All 7 kings have been all alive till the dying of Ronald Reagan June 5, 2004 while George W. Bush replaced into in place of work ; a million. Gerald Ford 2. Jimmy Carter 3. Ronald Reagan 4. George H. W. Bush 5. bill Clinton 6. George W. Bush.... is spoken of interior the present annoying (and one is) by using fact till Reagan died (June 5, 2004) all 7 have been alive! 7. Barack Obama.......and one is yet again! he will die some days after he will strengthen taxes! Obama is likewise in Dan. 11:20 Then shall get up in his sources a raiser of taxes [in] the attention of the dominion: yet interior few days he would be destroyed, neither in anger, nor in conflict. Rev. 17:11 And the beast that replaced into, and isn't any longer, even he's the 8th, and is of the seven, and goeth into perdition.

Answer 9

Of course MOST people believe in sex before, during AND after marriage.
Oral is a personal preference.
Worth the wait ? Possibly but PROBABLY not in todays world.
IF after sex your partner keeps coming back for more, you may believe he wants you for you and not just your body.
Final thought....... do what YOU believe is right fitting and proper.

Answer 10

sex is an instinct which is ok before marriage and ofcourse after it

all that depends in how u handle it.....

as for after marraige .... its more like if i love someone i dont care what her history of sex has been... she is mine .... she is commited to me....... so isnt that more important

or how many she been with how she did with them...... should that change my way to look at her nopes

and when ever you think you can handle whether oral ... or intercourse or anal or anything that you wanna experiment.... its ok.... no time or situation for that