How can I gain self-confident?!?

Question

Because of what has happened in my life, my self-confident is way down! I’m trying to regain it. Would you please help me?

Answer 1

This really works for me. Get out a piece of paper and a pencil and sit in a quiet place, preferably at a table and plan out just 3 things you really need to do today (best if you start this in the morning) or tomorrow if it's late in the day. Leave some space between each task and then proceed to get the tasks done. As you perform each task, a strange, but ultimately wonderful thing is going to happen, you're going to think of one or more NEW tasks that must be done today or the very near future! Write those tasks down on "Tomorrow's" task list; make notes if they come to you about WHY the task is important or what it's related to.

Today, when you complete a task, make small notes on the sheet in the space left between the three tasks, about how or what you did to complete the task. For example, if a task is, say, go to grocery - buy cake mix. When you get home your note might say, "Grocery, 9:30 a.m. Betty Crocker, Angel Fudge with icing".

Once the three tasks are completed with their notes, check your watch! Hmmmm, you might have time to complete one of tomorrow's tasks, OR, one of today's three tasks might prompt a fourth for the day...........Bake that Cake?

Now, finally, keep all those papers, notes, etc. and at the end of the week you've got a "log" of what you accomplished. You'll 1) feel a whole lot better about yourself because you've kept yourself busy and 2) you'll feel a lot more confident and productive and a lot better about yourself because of what you've actually mangaged to get done. Hey, Saturday, take a break and reward yourself with a trip, BY YOURSELF, to the nearest art museum. Write down the names of some of the artists you see that really strike you and then when you get home, search on them to learn more about them, their styles and their art. You'll learn a whole lot about yourself in the process and be very pleased!

Answer 2

Not knowing your personal situation, I feel a little uncomfortable giving general advice. You may be at a point where it'd be most helpful to have the healing help of talk therapy, or you may be able to receive some generic advice and tips. Generally speaking, I think confidence is a by-product of (1) predictability and (2) managing your emotions.

If you're good at something, either by natural giftedness or by lots of practice, then you'd be more comfortable at doing it, you'd know the results you get when you apply yourself and do that something. When the results and outcomes are predictable because of something you do, you can be confident about that.

2ndly, it helps to manage your emotions and feelings. There are some things you may be good at, because the results are good, and people who look at the results of your work say that it is good, but you might not just "feel it." In this case, you'll need to find a trusted friend or two to give you perspective to know what is good, to feel good about what is good, and to allow those good feelings to feed your confidence.

Answer 3

From your other questions, I have pieced together that you are a university student, that you may be introverted, and be having some trouble getting motivated and getting out and socializing.

You sound like you may be suffering a bit of depression. University years have a lot of change, which can be stressful, and tend to remove people from their support systems (family, friends, spirituality, meaningful work, love, money, intellectual interest)
Your university may have a psychological counseling service. You may be able to find them via the health services or by calling a crisis line and telling them you do not have a crisis, but need to find help for depression and aimlessness.

You also sound like you may be a bit of an introvert, which does not mean that you need to stay to yourself, but that you need to find a balance between private time and social events, so that you have time to recharge between being expected to be social.

Good luck - look to finding people and situations to build your support systems back up. You have many good suggestions in the list of answers prior to mine as well, but I would suggest a psychologist to help you implement them.

Answer 4

Always think positive. The more negativity you have in your life and in your mind, the more you will lose it. Go out for some sort of make over, buy new clothes, try new things.

Answer 5

Tell yourself firmly that whatever that has happened has happened and there isn't anything you can do to change it.. So, instead of wasting your precious life lamenting over an irrepairable stuff, u can just concentrate more on whatever you want to do, u want to become, or ur ambition. Just remember, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. Have faith in God. Good luck!.. :-)

Answer 6

try this... volunteer your time to your local nursing home, hospital, community centers, schools, etc. it will start to make you feel like you have a purpose which leads to a better feeling about yourself...we all need a sense of purpose...
also .........try going to church (if you don't already) you will meet really good people there and I know that will definitely change your life and outlook on things.....Best Wishes....

Answer 7

You can't gain self confident. However, you can gain self confidence.

Answer 8

Use affirmations everday and continue to say them I dont know if you read the bible but they tell you what God thinks of you.
You are fearfull and wonderfull made Psalm 139
You are the head not the tail...

Answer 9

Set out for yourself a series of small tasks for you to complete. Then you will see how you can do anything you set your mind to. But start small.

Answer 10

Pin-point what's causing your confidence problems and get rid of it, we don't have the time to deal with unhappiness.