what to do when my wife won't answer my questions or is very vaque?

Question

SHE IS SEEING A THERAPIST AND IS VERY VAQUE WHEN I ASK HER ABOUT HER SESSIONS. SHE WANTS ME TO SHARE EVERYTHING AND I DON'T WANT TO HURT HER. I DON'T WANT TO DO OR SAY ANYTHING THAT BRINGS UP PAST HURTS OR PROBLEMS, BUT WITHOUT ANY INFO, I NEVER KNOW IF I AM OR NOT. SHE WAS SEXUALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSED AS A CHILD. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT STEPS I SHOULD FOLLOW???
i also found in the history files on my computer from southwest airlines about incoming flights. no mention from her!!!

I WAS CHECKING INTERNET HISTORY TO KEEP A EYE ON MY 11 YEAR OLD SON.

Answer 1

Bro as I get older I notice women really seem to enjoy keeping secrets no matter how important/fair it is for them to share with their partner.

In my experience some women will lie cheat and steal before they tell you something that could potentially damage or end a relationship. Especially if your a good guy.

don't take me for bitter I'm in a relationship with a very loveing and caring person. I'm just saying keep digging. Don't let her off the hook.

Answer 2

Talk to her, tell her you need to know what's going on regardless of how it will make you feel. I saw a therapist for 2 years before I ended my marraige. Gave the same excuses, you know what I said to my therapist the first time I saw her??? I'm here to get strong enough to leave my husband. No lie.

Answer 3

Shes seeing a thearpist because she needs PROFESSIONAL guidance. People need a place to express themselves without being judged. Obviously you don't think she should have a personal thought. The fact that you're looking at computer history files grasping for anything to hold against her says she should dump you.

Answer 4

You just need to let her tell you things when she is ready. What happens between her and her therapist is not your business.

Answer 5

I was sexually abuse when I was a child. It took years to get to the point where I am now, and with alot of counseling.
Suggest to your wife to write journals, journals that you are allowed to read to feel and hear her most intermediated feelings and thoughts that she is going through during her sexual abuse encounter, tell her that when she going through flashbacks, that you don't want to cause trigger points to getting confused of now, and her past. Tell her that you want to have her trust within you, and want to work with her till she is free to express and tell her attacker what he did to her and etc, that she is no longer trapped within his secrets and lies and deceptions of keeping her silience for the rest of her life! Tell her the more she lets it out, the more freedom she has and power. Tell her it is not your fault and never will be and that she is a survirior!!!
Let her know that you are her husband, and I know you can't hold her psychocially emotional, but you can give her emotional support and let her know that you are with her all the way through while she suffers Post Tramtic Stress Syndrome Disorder.
Keep her off all white flour, pizza, bread, pasta, and she can have whole grains bread but no enriched white flour.
Watch for pain in her body, back of shoulders, neck and ankles, wrists, feet, hands and etc. Fibromayligia can show up and be the culprit of all pain of severe trauma of childhood abuse.
Cut tomatotoes, pototoes, and red meat off of her diet, these are bad of fibromayligia and stress triggers, that gives off severe flashbacks of childhood abuse.
As for your child, just be dad, and never threaten to leave the family, and continue to be her husband.
Tell her you need your wife back, give her dark chocolates for this depression she is under. Be careful with all the medications that the doctors prescribes, most times, it just the diet needs to be change, not to be placed on alot of medications of pyschotic causes side affects, aggressions, and even caused flashbacks and memories of she is not aware that has happened.
flirt with her, date her again, give her affirmation that your marriage should be number one to give its best.
Allowed her to get pampered, and knowing it came from you.
Don;t allowed her have to much responisbilities to take care of, she could be overwhelmed, of not able to handle and make good decisions on the stages she is under.
Her therapist, does know and understand, that she can fall down so bad, that she could be mentally gone, and mentally challengened and the therapist have her working on steps of working issues of childhood sexual trauma, of keeping her from even committing sucide and etc.
Best of luck, and hang in there and be sure you take very good care of yourself, and to keep your family together, and keep good strength mentally and physically to fight for your wife.
She is depending on you to pull her through all of this, and keep her family away or the one's who sexual abuse her completely away,. The holidays, are triggers that set her off, and you need to confirm to her, that she needs to write it all down, to help you to understand what she is going through.

Answer 6

maybe you could go to a session with her and talk about all this with her therapist and her.

Answer 7

we all have skelletens in the closet, and it may be possable, even with help, that she wishes hers to be left out of any discussion

Answer 8

let her share things with you at her own pace.....don't question and don't push but let her know you are there for her if she wants to talk...love her, support her and don't snoop....good luck

Answer 9

she will be meeting pedro soon.