Can you please tell me what you think of this intro to my story?

Question

I'm writing my first satire.Tell me what you think of the intro please------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Late on a balmy summer's evening, a few hours before the events that led to the destruction of the world began, I arrived at the city of Lundda. Word has it that this was the greatest city in the world.
That night I was quite happy with the way everything went. The city wasn't as costly as I had expected and I managed to taste some of its legendary joys. That included feverish sex with one of those famous Lunddan prostitutes and getting drunk on the finest spirits I'd ever tasted. I went to bed utterly satisfied with the way things were going.
As I laid my head on the pillow I revised my plans for the next day. I would wake up early, have a quick breakfast, pay the innkeeper, then go searching for the city's best breeder from whom I would buy a couple of blue hairy beasts, healthy male and female capable of mating------

Then I would return to the southern port of Buckelham and wait there for the first ship heading for my home country. I expected that if all went well, I would be home before the month ends. I closed my eyes and went to sleep with a smile on my face.

Yet during the two seconds that passed between the moment I opened my eyes on the next morning and the moment a wet, funny smelling, handkerchief descended upon my face and gently sent me back to sleep, I managed to develop an eerie feeling that things were not really going to proceed as planed.

It never crossed my mind though that I was becoming entangled in the nightmarish chain of events that led to the collapse of civilization as we know it and the total eradication of man kind . . . again.

Few hours later, I woke up screaming as a result of being deliberately placed in the path of the rushing contents of the coldest bucket of cold water I ever had my face splashed with. I was totally clueless as to what was happening to me.

Answer 1

Sounds good to me. Ha, I like the part where you say "again". Clever!

Answer 2

How about:

The end of the world was at hand and the city of Lundda was bristling with life on a balmy summer's evening. As the greatest city in the world, Lunnda was well known for it's ports, tradesman, and hospitality... (You can finish the rest)

Note: Obviously you arrive at the city prior to the world's destruction otherwise the city wouldn't exist and the weather wouldn't be calm.

Great idea for a story. Keep working on it.

Answer 3

need to work in the blue hairy beasts. perhaps there are other colored beasts which have something to do with the problems of civilization. sounds as if you might be on to an interesting start.

one of my writing professors said we should always strive to write in order to please ourselves.

Answer 4

its ok...but whats blue hairy beasts??