Boy do I have a problem I need professional advice to help with.. Got divorsed last year but kept seeing the ex ...its been good then bad... then good then bad.. last march I started dating this girl so so.. not really into her but made me feel little better going out again.. after 2 months I decided to blow her off.. avoided phone calls, short with her,, ect... she wouldnt give up.. wouldnt leave me alone.. wanted her man .. kept coming over to the house.. I would have to hide int he closet and not answer the door.. finally slowly gave up but still kept e-mailing me , calling me.. sending me letters.. I had to tell her I was going back with my ex to try again... which I wasnt.. but wanted her to leave me alone.. just wasnt what I wanted.. well things never got better so so dating the ex and in October the girlfirned called me... I did something stupid but started to seeing her again.. part time.. Shes all wound up and in love again.. Now Im not sure what I created.. I need out. More
2006-12-27 04:46:31 · 28 answers · asked by bob z 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok recenty I did decide to try with the ex again.. we are going to counceling and things seem maybe going ok.. I dont know yet too soon to tell but so far is good.. I need to end this deal with the girl.. How.. I told her I was going to NC for Christmas and New Years to get her off my back for awhile.. but she calling everyday... and waiting for my return.. I dont want her coming to the hosue now.. How do I keep her away.. my Ex is been coming around the house alot now.. and if she would show up it would ruin everything.. plus my ex knows I went out with her last March, she doesnt know about recent.. and this cause MAJOR problems.. How do I end this.. caue the 1st is coming up and shes going to be thinking im coming back.. and I worry she may come over to the hosue and start some ****.. she seems like a fighter.. I had a hard time ridding her the 1st time.. was almost like stalking.. she woundt leave me alone..
2006-12-27 04:50:40 · update #1
Ok sorry so long... I had a couple thoughts.. I could say that me and the wife were in NC and reconciling.. and sorry .. shes moving back in and thats that.. Do you think that she would get the picture and leave us alone or... would she come over and fight for her man? I cold say we got married on Christmas eve... I think then theres nothing to fight over but either is kinda cruel I feel bad.. I just dont want her messing up my ****. what Id really like to do is put her on the back burner for now.. but I dont know a way of doing that .. I feel bad just ending this cause I do like the girl just not what I want. Id never marry her.. fun to go out with that is it.. If things dont work out with the ex, Im going to feel bad I ended both .. but.. I cant take a chance now , how do I blow this girl off and not hirt her feelings or do I need to hurt her feelings to go away for good. conused
2006-12-27 04:54:20 · update #2
You are going have to be straight up with her, that you want your wife back, that she is the love of your life, and the girlfriend just going to accept that or not, and tell her the truth that you are still in love with your wife, and all is worth, tell her I am sorry, that I led you on, thinking there is something there, but my wife is all I ever think about, and it is not fair to you, but, please move on and some guy will definetely will fall in love with you.
Just tell her you are moving on with your wife and that you are going to marry her and this is what you want.
2006-12-27 05:59:45 · answer #1 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-05 20:15:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do need professional help: 1) Get a restraining order on the Ex but make sure you tell her that you will if she does not leave you 2) Going back to your ex will not work. May take less than 2 weeks before it all comes crashing down again. I would suggest you take some time and blow both relationships as the past and move on.
2006-12-27 04:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELLO.....quit saying you can tell her this, or you can tell her that and just tell her that you and your wife are reconciling. She obviously still thinks that you two have something because... lets see, YOU ARE LEADING HER ON... and then, to top it all off, you want to "keep her on the back burner".
My sympathies go to your wife. You are trying to reconcile a marriage with the thoughts in the back of your mind that it won't work. Oh and another suggestion, tell your wife you dated this woman in your separation period, and that you are trying to get her to leave you alone. This way there are no secrets and your wife is aware of this, so that when the girlfriend comes around because you didn't have the gonads to just break it off, it won't be a surprise to your wife, and it won't cause yet another problem for you.
Good Luck, you will need it.
2006-12-27 05:20:51 · answer #4 · answered by deanie1962 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These day and time you should not be leading people on. I would have sympathized with you if you had not started seeing her again. You know how she feel about you. When you went with her again she felt that you had a change of mind and would wish to continue things with her. This is not so for you, which puts her in a bad situation. Trust me, this kind of attitude hurts very much. You go to her and tell her out-right that you are NOT INTERESTED IN A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HER but if she do not have a problem being your SIDE KICK, you will contact her once in a while.(this would hurt bad) . With you telling here this, it gives her the option as to whether she wants to stay under those conditions or she would leave on her on. ITS NOT GOOD TO LEAD PEOPLE ON.
2006-12-27 05:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by Nichola S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not thinking with your big head. Listen to yourself. I was getting a divorce but still sleeping with my ex. Got a girlfriend on the side to make myself feel better. She was clingy and stalkerish so I lied and said i was getting bak with my ex to break up with her. Then a few months later I was not longer sleeping with my ex and was so horny I started sleeping with the clingy stalker again. What should I do?
Is that the gist of it? Here's what you do. 1) Stop sleeping with people you have no romantic interest in. 2) Tell the stalker how you honestly feel and cut all ties. 3) Spend sometime alone so you can know what you want and need before getting involved with someone else and continuing to need more.
Otherwise you'll come home to find that the crazy stalker is a) now your "baby's mama" or b) has gotten so pissed that you have used her, that she boils your favorite pet.
2006-12-27 04:57:54 · answer #6 · answered by WriterChic 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
to be honest with you it seems to me you want to come out of this unscathed and still liked and we will all tell you now,,,this cant happen.you have played with peoples emotions while still trying to be mr nice guy and i know you think you have been a good bloke but you havent,,,you dont get to mess up peoples lives because you are bored at home,then you are not,then you are and all the time treating others like they are there for you to toy with when you need them. you NEED to decide if you actually want any of these women and the one you do want needs to know everything to enable you to stop lying because this is half your problem,,you cant keep up with who/what /when and where and to come clean may not be the most pleasant thing you have ever done but dont you think some honesty will make things better? personally i think you should spend some time alone so you can sort out your head and heart because i wouldnt think you knew what you were doing let alone what your feelings were and where your heart is,,i would think you are so buried in deception you havent stopped and actually thought if you want any of these women.this is about you not them and until you are honest with yourself without apology you will never be happy with just one person and you are not entitled to keep a safety net.
2006-12-27 05:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I acquired rid of snapshot of my ex girlfriends (even an ex wife) before my then-present lady friend question me to. Each considered one of them used to be my g--d--- EX!!! WHY would i want their photograph?!?!?!?!?! I've been married for greater than 30 years, and the question has by no means come up.
2016-08-10 04:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by rothenburg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell this girl to get lost, don't be nice about it either. She will probably hate you but she'll leave you alone. Unless she's unstable, if she keeps bugging you call the cops.
Oh wait let me guess, the ex doesn't know about her and that would make things a bit uncomfortable. You made this bed, you'll have to lie in it.
2006-12-27 04:50:48 · answer #9 · answered by hthr_1974 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say give them both up the wife never worked out and then u done it again it will happen once more and i hope there are no kids involved. as for the g/f she is obsessed with you. open up and tell her she is not what you want and you dont want to c her again. get an order of protection on her and she cant come back unless she wants to go to jail. you need to figure out in your head and heart what it is you really want in life and stop playing with all the ladies
2006-12-27 05:01:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋