he hang out with friends, sit on computer for hours,call his friends home sometime.he has plenty of time for his friends and for his movies,he is much interested in doing things which he like the most whereas gives very little time for me and when iam not at home he calls his friends arrange for drinks and enjoy.whenever i ask him to take me out he says iam busy today,iam tired but as soon as phone rings up from his friends he is ready before their say.iam fed up of his habit .is there any thing i can do?i have explained him thousand of times but in vain.now am 7 months pregnant and he always leave me alone .plz help me.
2006-12-27 04:20:06 · 16 answers · asked by simplewife20 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know, this is probably how he acted before you got married. Was it not? My wife expected some miraculous change in my behavior as well just because we got married. Her and I used to go out and party until the sun came up. Once we got married, she did a 180 expected me to follow suit. That's nuts! This type of behavior should have been discussed before you got married and pregnant. You cannot expect to change someone overnight!
P.S. I'm now getting a divorce after a year and a half of unhappy marriage.
2006-12-27 04:25:24 · answer #1 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you may be over reacting a bit. It's good that your husband has not lost his individuality. You should be happy he has friends and he is sociable. There's really not a whole bunch to say on this except: If you press the issue, the situation will get worse. There is about to be a child in the mix. It's a blessing in disguise. The energy he has now for all of his friends, I promise he will put that energy into being a good father that enjoys spending time and playing with his children. It's not as bad as it seems. Trust me. I have been married for 14 years and have 4 children.
2006-12-27 12:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations. .
2006-12-27 12:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by petercrys 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, he is only suffering from the same things that so many others suffer from today:
Sever Stupid
Lack of Accountability
Wanting to have his way all the time
Wanting to have the spoils without the war or without winning the war
Your husband has made the same mistake many do. They marry yet want to act as if they are still single. But to be honest, he is probably only that way in part because he has been shown how to be and that he can be this way, by many others, both men and women.
I would suggest that you make a poster with your wedding vows on them, and then write out a description of what each of those vows mean. Also explain to him that you are prepared to follow these and give just what you promised to given and then do so. Then let him know that you fully expect him to do the very same for you too.
You might also ask him in writing, just how he would view it is you were acting as he is acting. Give examples of what he does in this letter to him and include how you see it and why do you see it this way.
It is harder to argue or get upset with a letter then in person, plus what is written doesnt change or get side tracked or attempt to defend itself or make additional points in mid stream.
I would caution you, that you may also have to face the same things from him, so make sure you are doing as you promised and what you should before you hammer him on what he does or fails to do.
2006-12-27 12:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Don't nag him, if he doesn't want to spend time with you leave him be. Its not your fault he is a self centered jerk. To be honest, you have to rethink your marriage if your husband is treating you like this. When a man loves you and is interest in you, he'll make the time. Take his actions as a hint of how he truly feels. I'd get out of the relationship now or try going to counseling, but good luck, because rarely do men change. And there isn't anything you can really do.
2006-12-27 12:29:43 · answer #5 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow - sounds so familiar. Oh wait, yeah, it's cause I lived this one. He probably isn't ready for responsibility and is trying to hang on to that life he had before he met you and decided to make this commitment to you.
Get out while you can girl, and get some counseling. From my own personal experience, trying to hang on and hoping he will change DOES NOT WORK. Time to cut your losses and move on. If nothing else you have a baby to think about and care for - the drama you got with him won't help any with your pregnancy. It will hurt, but even that will go away with time. Make a decision for you and your baby, and stick to it. Never let him see how much it hurts to do what you have to.
2006-12-27 12:45:46 · answer #6 · answered by Conejita 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have been through this same situation with my husband and I know exactly what you are going through. You have to sit down and let your husband know that this should be a very joyous moment in your marriage and it should be shared together. You also need to let him know that you don't like him going out with his friends as much as he does. Communication is the key in marriage and you should exercise your right as his wife. You need to let him know that he needs to get his priorities straight. Let him know that if he is still playing games you can leave. You definitely don't have time for games because you are about to bring a child into this world. Good luck and God bless.
2006-12-27 12:54:10 · answer #7 · answered by TRUST_ME 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems like he is living the K-Fed life style. I am guessing your a young couple, the sad part is that now and after the baby, it will just get worst. No much you can do about it.... Maturity comes with responibility, but at this point in his life he is not willing up to own up to responsibility. If you both stick around maybe in a few year, or he might change after a couple of divorces....
2006-12-27 12:38:48 · answer #8 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you are in big big trouble my dear, especially if you are pregnant and depend on him financially. It will only get worse after the baby is born and I hope he wont be too busy to drive you to the hospital. What an idiot you married.
This is what you do. Have the baby. get well and fit and file for divorce, alimony and child support as soon as you can. Might as well be single and have him support you financially then be treated like garbage, at least u r still young enough to find someone better, Be well. Good Luck
2006-12-27 12:33:43 · answer #9 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like your hubby is like many other hubbies at a young age, they want to play, play, play and hang with their friends. He like the other guy's his age haven't grown up yet.
I would sit down and have a talk with him tell him how you feel about the situation and ask him if he could find it within himself to spend more time with you instead of his friends.
Put your foot down and tell him if he doesn't start considering your feelings more, that you may file for divorce. If this doesn't wake him up and straighten him up. You may have to just wait awhile longer save all the money you can and then take the money, car, etc. and file a divorce.
2006-12-27 12:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋