My BF's ex wife has always been difficult. But this year for Christmas he was supposed to have the kids for Christmas morning based on a schedule the court drew up. She refused to acknowledge there was such a paper and demanded to have the kids on Christmas morning. My BF ultimately refused and took the kids home for Christmas morning. He gave her the kids back at noon and she had them for Christmas Day and the day after. Now she is raising a stink over every single thing. She's almost to the point of unbearable. The kids are completely in the middle and she likes to put them there. She's told the kids how horrible he is and I think she's really going to hurt the kids emotionally. She's now threatening to call child services because the oldest (who just got certified by the Red Cross for babysitting) is staying home on Christmas break. Can the court require counseling for her? Can the court make her cooperate with us on the visitation schedules?
2006-12-27 04:01:52 · 10 answers · asked by LuvMy4Kids 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like this lady is a little on the bitter side. I appreciate how compassionate and involved you are with this situation...I've been in a similar one myself. But I do caution you to stay out of it as much as possible. To give him advice/consolation is one thing...but I wouldn't get involved with her, that's just fuel to the fire.
As far as your situation, my advice is to just stress as much as you can to your BF to stick to every single rule. The more he sticks to the rules (even when she's being unfair), and the more documentation he keeps (receipts of everything he buys for them to live, the Red Cross certification for the child who babysits, EVERYTHING....that's the fire he'll need when they go back to court. As long as he plays by the rules even when he doesn't want to, he'll have covered his *** well enough that she won't have a leg to stand on.
good luck. This is a tough situation and it's completely unfair to the children.
2006-12-27 04:09:01 · answer #1 · answered by INS24106 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The court can force her to follow the visitation schedule set up by the judge. In fact if you petition for a custody review hearing based on the fact that she is not following the order she can be held in contempt of court. However, enforcing a visitation order can be a double edged sword for both parties.
If the order says pick up friday at 5 and bring back sunday at 5, you can call the police on her if she is not there with the kids by 6 and she can call the cops on you if they aren't back by 6. The order has no flexiblity. This often causes problems when the couple are in conflict because they frequently try to get the other party arrested. Also there maybe times when due to schedling conflicts where you may want to change days or times. Enforcing the order would prevent that.
2006-12-27 04:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by WriterChic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the divorce decree specifically details out a visitationplan (who gets what holidays and on what times the other's parents holiday time begins, etc), then yes, the courts can and will uphold that. If she is not cooperating, then call the non-emergency police line and tell them what is happening the next time this occurs. As for making her do counseling, no, there is nothing the courts can do at this point in time as she has no pending cases with them, or any pending due to the divorce. Good Luck..I have my own ex-monster to deal with too, except she took their kid to the other side of the world!
2006-12-27 04:09:29 · answer #3 · answered by Jaybird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, no. Forcing her to do anything is going to only make things worse with the ex.
She's probably being a ***** because she is witnessing the happiness that her ex husband is having with you.
The only way to solve the problem is maybe for your boyfriend to go back to court and file for sole custody. He could also report her for violating the court order. He could then request supervised visitation where a mediator is involved. This way she'd have to follow the rules.
Believe me, I understand your frustration. My husband's ex was the same way. However, her thing was if he wanted to see his kids he had to pay her. If he didn't give her money aside from the child support she wouldn't let him have his court ordered visitation. They both had joint custody. When he didn't give in, she took the kids and left the state. We didn't know where they were for seven years. By then the damage was done. The kids hate their dad. Now that they are adults they are still trying to make him pay for it.
Be sure to tell your bf to remain in their lives NO MATTER WHAT. Otherwise their bitter mother's bitterness will become theirs.
2006-12-27 04:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Your BF needs to go back to court and tell them that she is not abiding to the visitation and they will make another court date and supeona her back into court to find out why she is acting the way she is and if its not a good reason they may find her in contempt and she will either have to go by the visitation arrangments or go to jail, pay a fine or both. Another thing you could do is whenever the scheduled visitation is make sure your Bf is on time and if she is being unreasonable you could call the police to escort him to pick the children up for his scheduled visit. Make sure you have the court order to show them. Either way they will make her go by the court order.
2006-12-27 04:20:13 · answer #5 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are the kids? In some states, I believe that children 12 and older are able to have a voice in where they are at any given time, regardless of what the custody documents state. Consult a lawyer to get the facts on your state.
2006-12-27 04:09:12 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-23 19:42:37 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you involve the court and lawyers, your costs are really going to increase. As one whom has been in this situation, I advise you to try to work with her the best you can. This is a long-term relationship that will be part of your life for years to come. The children will realize what parent is being reasonable. I would never criticize the mother in front of the children. I wish you the best.
2006-12-27 04:06:56 · answer #8 · answered by david42 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, legally, it's your BF's problem, not yours. I know, it's hard to step back and let him handle it, but in the end, he has to.
Your BF needs a good lawyer. He needs to keep doing this thru the court. I'd say he needs to work on gaining full custody.
2006-12-27 04:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean, "cooperate with us"? Since you have nothing to do with this, the courts can politely ask you to butt out. This is an issue between your boyfriend and HIS ex-wife and you need to step back and let them settle it.
2006-12-27 04:28:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋