They have split up because he was turning violent. My daughter has moved out but he says he does not want to sell up, they pay half and half on the mortgage and the house is in both their names. He says he would rather go to court than sell up, costing them each about £3000 in legal fees. The other alternative given by a solicitor is for my daughter to not pay her half of the mortgage, he then would not be able to keep up the payments on his own, but then because she defaulted she would be put on a blacklist.
Has anyone had an experience like this? if so what would you advise?
2006-12-27 03:45:16 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all i wish people would READ the question before they answer. This girl is not married - the question says 'partner'.
I don't think the solicitor gave very good advice. However, if, having given this partner time to 'cool down' he still insists he won't sell, then maybe it is better to cut her losses and go to court. She must definitely keep up her payments or she will lose out.
I am so sorry for her. My own daughter had a violent partner and was in this situation, but they had been living together only for a year, and the house was all hers.
If she has proof of his violence, perhaps that could be used as a lever against him. Saying she will talk to the police about that aspect.
I hope it works out. Don't let her be bullied and intimidated by him.
2006-12-27 04:21:34 · answer #1 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a mediator and a judge, lower court costs than going to court. The Mediateor will find that they bought the house on the assumption that they would eventually marry and use the house, making it joint property. When he bacame violent he made her feel unsafe in her own home allowing her to vacate if she wanted. In this he must either sell the home and pay her the part she paid to accuire the house.
She can also contact the mortgage company, set an appointment. Have her take a copy of the police report (this will only work if she has a police report from when he became viloent) Explain the situation, state that you no longer feel safe living with the guy and rightfully so (you have the report) and that you want out of the purchase, since he is still there the mortgage company can force him to sell or excuse your daughter from her part of the loan and take her off the account (no blacklist) and she can go on her merry way and let nature take its course.
2006-12-27 11:53:10 · answer #2 · answered by cisco_cantu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have a nephew who has just gone through the same exact thing. He wanted out of the relationship, but his partner didn't want to sell. Fortunately, they both got attorneys and an agreement was reached to sell and divide the proceeds after all costs were settled.
If your daughter's name is on the mortgage for the house, whether she left or not, she's still responsible to keep her half of the payment. If she defaults, she will force the guy to pay the entire monthly payment himself, but she'll destroy her credit in doing so. Why do you think that it'll cost your daughter 3000 pounds ... that's about 4500 dollars U.S. My nephew and his girl each spent around $500 and everything was done properly, according to U.S. law. You're probably way high on the fee ... have you consulted with an attorney to see what's actually involved? You may want to look into that before your daughter does anything else.
2006-12-27 11:54:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was it bought jointly or 'in common'. If the latter then theoretically she could sell her half seperately. it sounds like he is using this as a way of keeping contact/control over your daughter. Has your daughter contacted the mortgage company? I'm not sure about the legality but could she forfeit any interest in the property in return for not paying the mortgage? Would her ex buy her out? Could she afford to buy him out? I'm afraid violent men often turn out to be petty and spiteful after a split I hope that she has contacted any utility company if her name is on the bills to get them transferred to his name. But it is imperative that she writes to the mortgage company immediately.
2006-12-27 14:21:29 · answer #4 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is, I fear, to go to court and get an order for sale. Do not be afraid of going to court. I doubt that it would cost anything like £3000 for your daughter though if he delays this will add to the cost. If the mortgage does not get paid both parties will get defaults on their record. It sounds to me as if he might be trying emotional blackmail to get her to return. it is a very difficult situation. Initially the Citizens Advice Bureau might be able to give more detailed advice. With help your daughter might be able to handle the court process herself without a lawyer and keeping the costs down. It is unlikely that she would be saddled with his costs.
2006-12-27 11:53:38 · answer #5 · answered by Davy B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have had experience like this from dealing with mortgages in the States.
She just found out the NUMBER ONE REASON for NEVER getting involved in real estate deals with anyone who you are not contractually bound or MARRIED to.
Were she married she could force a sale through the divorce negotiations. As they are just friends she's screwed.
My advice is to pay the 3K and be glad it only cost so little.
2006-12-27 12:20:47 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest your daughter calls his bluff and gets a solicitor as soon as possible.
This would be one sure way of ensuring her partner gets the message that she's SERIOUS about their splitting up.
He might turn out to be one of those people who cut their nose to spite their face, but £3000 would be the money well spent in order get out of a rather uncomfortable situation (still - much more comfortable than, say, a ruptured spleen).
Best of luck.
2006-12-27 12:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by Klara B. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No house is worth all of that. Houses are just materialistic thing and can be replaced. She can default and the money that she used for those payments should go towards her buying another house all by herself. She may be on the blacklist but so would he.
2006-12-27 12:00:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has a legal interest and an equitable interest in the house..... so she is in a prime position, if he is being stubern then it looks like a court order will have to be sought,..... not that scary really it's just the cost,.....
the mortgage idea is another opition but like you say it's going to put her on the blacklist so i would avoid that route.....
if he would prefer to have his day in court then i can see no other way i'm affraid.
good luck
Bad things happen to bad people ...so he can have his cake and eat it!!!!
2006-12-27 12:12:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my country a good lawyer would send him a letter letting him know that he has to 'pay her off' (either sell or pay what she has already spent) in a specified time- eg 30 days or else. Included in that letter, the lawyer will add his fee to do the letter for him to pay, and warn that if it has to go to court, he will be billed for all her legal fees. The fact that it is already on both their names is a big plus for her!!
2006-12-27 11:57:28 · answer #10 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋