First of all I live in Kentucky. My boyfriend just found out that he is the father of a two year old child, which he knew nothing about until almost two months ago.
The child's grandmother has temporary custody of the kid because the mother was arrested for drugs. They are also wanting to collect back child support and also money for the hospital bills and doctor bills. This I don't think is fair because he knew nothing of this.
My boyfriend is wanting to sign over his rights to the child to the grandmother if she wants custody. Otherwise he wants to try and get full custody of the child.
My question is would he be able to sign over his rights in this sort of situation? If not should he be able to get full custody of the child? We already have a child together and he is a good father. And should he be responsible for the back support and medical bills? I know you will tell me to call a lawyer which I am already trying to do. It is just hard to get them on the phone. Please help!
2006-12-27 03:21:56 · 11 answers · asked by lparker_2005 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Of course, the very first thing he needs to do is ask for a DNA test! If the child is his...
Fair or not, he helped create the child, therefore, he’s responsible for helping to support the child. He can sign over custodial rights to the grandmother, but he will still be required to pay child support. However, IF what you're asking is can he sign away his parental rights (which is a totally different thing than custodial rights) and be relieved of child support, then the answer to that is ‘no’. If men could do that, then tens of thousands of men would be doing it and the welfare system would be overwhelmed (and it already is) with the need for the taxpayers to support children that men just decided that they didn’t want.
Can he be held responsible for back support and medical bills? Yes, and ESPECIALLY if Mom received any type of welfare. If she didn’t receive welfare, then he *may* be able to get out of it if he truly had no clue that the child existed and Mom never made any attempt to notify him of the child’s existence. Then again, he might still be ordered to pay it. But, if she received welfare, he WILL have to pay it.
If he now wants to be a part of this child’s life, that’s a wonderful thing. However, IF he only wants to be a part of the child's life (ie obtain custody) if he can't get out of paying child support, then that certainly implies that’s he's not actually concerned with the child’s best interest…which he should be!
2006-12-27 06:07:54 · answer #1 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 Get a paternity test to verify that he is, in fact, the father.
This is the #1 key thing to do, period.
2. Yes, he is responsible for back child support. He may not have known about the kid, but he was still responsible for supporting the child he produced. Medical bills, on the other hand, he may not necessarily be responsible for. The child support should cover that.
3. Giving up his parental rights will not free him of his child support responsibilities. Just wanted to make sure you realize that. He can sign over his parental rights, but the mother would need to, also, for the grandmother to have full custody.
4. He would have a very good chance of gaining full custody as the mother is in jail and has a drug problem. I'd imagine that, if the grandmother doesn't want him to have custody, she would back off on the back child support in order to get him to relinquish custody.
First things first - get a paternity test if for no other reason than to eliminate the possibility that some other guy will come along later claiming to be the father.
2006-12-27 03:31:00 · answer #2 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't tell you the actual law, but I can tell you about morals. He is the father of this baby and of course he should be paying the back support and medical bills. That just sounds so wrong to me. Maybe he didn't know about the baby for 2 years, but it is still HIS baby and he helped bring the child into the world. Why does he want to sign over his rights to the grandmother instead of stepping up and taking care of the child he made? Someone else took care of the baby for 2 years. Why doesn't he want to be there for the child now? You said he is a good father, but I'm sorry, I just can't see that at all by the way you are describing him.
Oh yeah, let me just add, I saw your last question. If I were you I would get divorced to the other guy first before you get into a relationship with someone who is already in enough trouble!!
2006-12-27 03:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by tmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of the custody outcome, he's responsible for the child support to date.
He should be able to renounce his own custody rights, though he can't designate who does get custody; the courts would probably look favorably at the grandmother's petition, if she is not too old or otherwise unsuitable.
It would be far better for the child to have two parents young enough to care for him and give him the guidance and support he'll need growing up - if at all possible, he should get custody and look after his child, just as he is doing with your own child. Put it this way - how would you feel if he walked away and didn't want custody of the child you have together? How would that child feel growing up, knowing the father gave away rights, even though he could have cared for them?
The only thing that matters here is the welfare of the child.
2006-12-27 03:31:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your boyfriend can do either of those things - sign over his rights to the child, or persue custody. Custody is more expensive to obtain and giving up your parental rights a simple matter of signing a piece of paper - that may not relieve him of past due child support, however, and you really should consider what is best for the child. Is he better off with grandma, or with you two? How would having a good father impact the child's life as opposed to being dumped off at grandma's every time mom goes to jail or rehab?
2006-12-27 03:57:50 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel M 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is obvious that, although he may not have known about the birth of the child, he knew he committed the act that could produce a child. With that said, he is responsible for the upkeep and support of the child and since he is, as you say, a good father he would certainly want to support his off spring. Sometime in the future that child will be asking someone, who is my father? It is a terrible sight to witness this question being asked and the child being told "I DON'T KNOW ". Or "Your father left you a long time ago and we don't know where he is". It would be more humane for him to claim the child and provide support as he can, when he can.
2006-12-27 03:33:46 · answer #6 · answered by john h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you see what legal avenues you have, I hope the two of you consider your situation and what you would want to do.
I am disturbed with anyone who already has a child without the benefit of marriage. In this country the best thing for any child legally is to be married and have kids. That's the way the system works. So you two have a bastard, and another bastard shows up unexpectedly. I just don't understand that. Have you no concern for the people you create? Have you no sense of responsibility? It shocks me how irresponsible and selfish people can be.
That said, you seem sensible in at least trying to do the right thing. Talk to each other, get married, and commit to the prices you have to pay for careless sex in the past.
2006-12-27 03:30:39 · answer #7 · answered by David S 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he only wants the child to get out of paying, Id say GIVE UP responsability. Anyone who has to THINK about giving up their child for any reason don't deserve the child. Let Grandma have and take care of the child.
2006-12-27 03:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by D.C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will be responsible for the child support if he is the father. You can't sign that away.
2006-12-27 03:25:16 · answer #9 · answered by BigD 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DNA should answer these questions. If it's his, he is liable.
2006-12-27 04:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by docie555@yahoo.com 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋