My husband get's irritated when I want to go see my friends, even when I invite him to go. So I stop bringing it up cause I dont want to start and arguement. Well then one weekend, I was working and he calls me up saying he is going to go visit a single guy friend of his that he hasn't seen in a while. He says since I'm at work I can stay home and he will be back the next day. When I complained to him about it he said, " oh well i think we need to spend times with our friends." I was so mad cause he was doing exactly what I didn't want to do to him. Even before he left, he called one of my friends and asked her to call me that night to hang out so I wouldnt be home by myself. Mind you it wasn't one of the friends I had been wanting to visit. it was a girl in the same town I lived in. Then he sent me flowers to work the next day. Do you think I'm being bitchy? I mean, If I did that to him he would have been pissed. It was like he knew what he was doing wrong and he did it anyway. input?
2006-12-27 03:05:31 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yea, i think that you are right to be pissed off and I think that you need to address this issue, I think that you need to discuss this and let him know that its not right what he did that you don't want to be controlled anymore, you are a human being and you deserve to be happy as well!
2006-12-27 03:10:08 · answer #1 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your man is being dishonest and a dog...If he went to see a "friend" overnight doesn't something soung just plain wrong with that picture? Not to mention that he sent you flowers!! That is another big red flag...apparently a response to his guilty conscience.
It sounds like you need to confront him about this. If he does it again you need to consider a separation because he clearly isn't being faithful.
As for you seeing your female friends you have every right to have relationships with your friends especially if you are being considerate enough to offer him a chance to go. You are a grown up and regardless of the fact you are married you have a right to do things on your own as long as you aren't doing anything to hurt the marriage. He wants to control you and make you stay put but he's not living up to his own expectations...
2006-12-27 11:20:25 · answer #2 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like both situations are unrelated. He wanted to see a friend that he hasn't seen a in awhile. It sounds like this may have been the first time he's done this to you. On the other hand, it sounds like you are constantly in a rush to go and see your friends.
He knew him going was going to upset you and he was right. Personally I think you ought to take a really long hard look at both situations and evaluate them. How would you feel if you were him?
2006-12-27 11:11:52 · answer #3 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you're not going for this double standard crap and you don't need him to pick and choose who you hang out with nor do you need his permission and whover told him that you did, lied to him. If he tries that again, you will call the most annoying person you know and tell that person your husband is dying to hang out with him, how fast can he be here? And when you hang out with your friends, he can stay at home and you'll get home when you get home.
2006-12-27 11:25:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is meant to be a gender-neutral response although it doesn't seem like it. I'm refering to "him/he/his" only because she is asking about the actions of a man, but I believe women are just as guilty of this. Find out if he is cheating. Or, what goes on when he is with his friends? Chances are he assumes that what you do with your friends is the same as what he does with his. People are often suspicious of others because of the knowledge they have of themselves. People assume that other people act/think the way they do. Find out what happens when he is "with his boys". You're going to have to be sneaky about it. When men(or women) have something to hide, they can be tricky.
2006-12-27 11:12:11 · answer #5 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be LIVID. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Your husband sounds like a male chauvinist. I wouldn't tolerate it. I would tell him that if he can do something like that so can you. I doubt he would have appreciated it if you did that to him. Please get help. Make an appt. to see a counselor together and tell the counselor what is going on. I can assure you the counselor will side with you! (Your husband needs to hear this).
Good Luck.
2006-12-27 11:18:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are women so smart but then they are so naive?
I think he's cheating on you.
Why did he need to sleepover his "friends" house?
I think you are in denial.
The last thing I ever want to do is burst someones bubble but if he is not cheating on you - then he has a mental obsession of control over you.
2006-12-27 11:09:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Turn about is fair play
Whats good for the Goose is good for the Gander
Go have fun and ta heck with him.
2006-12-27 11:25:18 · answer #8 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't a male friend he saw. It was probably another woman. Seriously he seems to def be cheating, and insecure with himself. Leave him. Or start snooping around or spying on him.
2006-12-27 11:09:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you are being bitchy...I think you are being immature. Please go back and read your question...and realize that you both are acting like children in a school yard. If this is going to cause problems in your marriage....you have alot of trouble ahead!
2006-12-27 11:10:04 · answer #10 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋