Every time I get a guy friend he tries to put a move on me KNOWING I am a lesbian. I don't flirt or send signals or anything like that. I'm just nice and then all of a sudden I have a guy trying to kiss me. Why do they do that? This happens with every new male friend I get and I'm tired of it.
2006-12-27 02:57:51 · 27 answers · asked by Autumn 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
While I haven't had this problem personally, I can imagine why this happens. Some straight men have that "straight man's dream" of hooking up with two women or at least watching two women have sex. I'm not sure why this is so fascinating for them, but some of my straight male friends think this is cool. Perhaps these men think that they have a chance of this.
Another possible reason is that these men might think that "you just haven't found the right man yet" and that they can "change you." Again, this is a sad but true situation.
I do know that it is possible for straight men and lesbians to build and maintain friendships, and I wish you the best in finding men who accept you as a lesbian and not make a move on you.
2006-12-27 03:10:21 · answer #1 · answered by jbm616 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
considering that straight men and lesbians are both into women..guys who hit on you and try to hook up probably think yeah she likes women but probably they r thinking at the same time she is hot/beautiful etc so why not..guys like taking chances especially after they get confident with girls , you probably are friendly with guys cos u know u r not attracted to them so no problem you can talk about anything, very confident..so they take this in the wrong way maybe and think they have a chance..i think considering you wont end up with any of them dont get upset anymore just enjoy your time
2006-12-27 04:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by bellavit4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, men are just like that. I have a feeling that the ones doing this seem to think that lesbians don't "really know" what they want and so, in turn, these men make a move on lesbians to "prove" that lesbians do indeed want them, which is stupid. How do men know what lesbians want? Then again, how do men know what ANY woman wants? (Not all men are like this though...)
2006-12-27 03:08:40 · answer #3 · answered by Beth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh this sounds familiar with me....
basically some guys think that they can turn a lesbian...bi...or they think being a lesbian is a way to attract guys, but most of these guys are just stupid. they don't wanna deal with the fact that they have a crush on a lesbian....that obviously doesn't like them back, so they try and make it work.
2006-12-27 17:50:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happens to me, too, maybe they think they have what it takes to "change" you, I have stopped being friends with alot of guys because of this, it is degrading to continue to go through this and it is a very selfish act on their part. I never flirted either and had guys think they had the right to just try to kiss me, I hate that, really. We are like trophies and if they can get us then they can go tell their friends that "they got a lesbian". Please!! Just avoid these types of guys, they are not really your friends, they have ulterior motives. Sorry. :)
2006-12-27 03:30:07 · answer #5 · answered by spiritcavegrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well get used to it they just are attracted to you and feel at ease with you and that is why they do it. I have the same problem with all guys i try to be just friends with. If you can find a guy that is respectable of your sexual orientation it is a great friendship. I do know one guy who is that way and he is an amazing friend. But, That happens once in a blue moon.
2006-12-27 04:30:49 · answer #6 · answered by Namaste 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're just that attractive, and they don't want to think that you are a lesbian. They are probably just hoping for the best that you're straight. I mean, I totally would if I was a guy.
Sometimes other girls aren't really gay at all and they are into men.
2006-12-27 14:18:27 · answer #7 · answered by m_0hi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dunno, it could be that since they do know you're a lesbian you might for some strange reason kiss them anyway and not want a relationship. You know, like a quick hook-up with no obligations. I know it doesn't really make sense but it might to a guy. But you're a lesbian so you don't really have to deal with guys being stupid much anymore!
2006-12-27 03:04:50 · answer #8 · answered by MCRlover12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure they know you're gay.
A lot of my male friend thought it was some inside joke when they first met me.
Make it clear that you are, indeed, a lesbian.
If that doesn't work and they still try to make a move say your girlfriend wouldn't appreciate that, say it even if you're single.
2006-12-27 03:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by Word 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they think (much as some women do) that you just need one experience with a 'real man' to convert you back to straight-ism....Or maybe they just think that because you are a lesbian that you are 'easy'...Or maybe they find you very attractive. I don't know! Sorry:)
2006-12-27 03:20:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋