I am 16 weeks pregnant and since I've found out, I have felt so distant from my fiance. I know we are supposed to feel very close at this wonderful time in our life but those feelings are not there. He has asked me to marry him, bought me a beautiful ring but I am having second thoughts about marring him now. Some days the thought of kissing or sleeping with him makes me sick. What is wrong with me?
2006-12-27 02:50:17 · 15 answers · asked by Mz. Tanning Bed Junkie! 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
history- we have been together on and off for almost 7 years.
-with my first child I didn't feel like this toward my ex husband
2006-12-27 02:51:30 · update #1
it's not just the attraction thing- I really feel like i can't stand him some days!!!!
2006-12-27 02:55:15 · update #2
it's not just the attraction thing- I really feel like i can't stand him some days!!!!
2006-12-27 02:55:16 · update #3
There is NOTHING wrong with you! I know exactly how you feel! With my first pregnancy I would go for a month where if he touched my arm it ticked me off and sleep with him, kiss him...uh no! It's just hormones! Seriously, I thought so many times of leaving him and I hated him and everything. That wasn't how I felt though, and I doubt you do. I would wait until about 2 months after the baby is born and see if things change. I actually did a complete flip when we left the hospital.....I loved him and our baby so much I would look at them and cry. Especially since the time you have spent with him, it's obvious you love him and with him proposing....he loves you too! Wait it out, please! I think you will really regret it when it's over if you don't. Spend some time with your parents (maybe a weekend even!) and take a girl's weekend to a nice hotel or spa. It helps anyways with the stress of pregnancy. Plus, it changes for other pregnancies. This time I can't get enough of him! I have actually cried when he dropped me at work because I wanted to be with him (LAME, I know!). But those feelings will pass! Good Luck!!
2006-12-27 03:01:14 · answer #1 · answered by angie_laffin927 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong. I felt not at all attracted to my husband for the first baby. I didn't want to have sex ever and I felt very distant. Don't call off a wedding while you're pregnant. Wait till the baby is about 6 months old before making any big decisions. There are a lot of hormones going on in there and they last for quite some time after the baby is born. Just hang in there. Even if you aren't a romantic, try going to a really nice restaurant, eat by candle light, talk about when you first met and stuff. That tends to help. But don't feel bad.
2006-12-27 02:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by happymommy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that there is any thing wrong with you. You just have a lot going on right now. You probably feel a little alone in this even though he is with you because you are the only one really going through it. I think you should give it some time before you make a big move in ithre direction. Chances are that once your hormones slow down and you are use to being pregnant your feelings may change. His he there for you? Is he helping you out and talking to you about what is happening ( between you too and about the pregnancy)? Try getting away doing something that you both enjoy and talk about whats up.
Congrats!!!! Hope everything works out for the best. Hang in there for a little while.
2006-12-27 02:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by *♥Tarita♥* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is very common. I went through the same thing. It will be easier for the two of you to "connect" over the pregnancy when the baby becomes more real to him. This occures either at the ultrasound or when he can feel the baby kicking. It's hard to connect over a pregnancy because the guy has vey little to share in that experience. But it is very important to connect on something, even if it is just food! :)
By the way, the way you feel sexually is also perfectly normal. Some women feel more attracted to their spouse, others feel less. Either way, it wil be pass after the baby is born, maybe even before then. Just remember how much you love him.
2006-12-27 02:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by Wiccan~Momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should be making big decisions right now - you're obviously going through an awful lot.
If you can afford it, try going to a psychologist and talking things through. You need a forum to express your doubts without worrying about how the listener will react.
Consider putting off the wedding until 6 or 7 months after the baby is born. You don't want to rush into marriage until you're sure, but neither should you break things off with your fiance now, IMO.
2006-12-27 02:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your hormones honey. I have been with my husband for 8 years and am pregnant with our 2nd child. I am almost 10 weeks now and have no desire to have sex or even be affection right now. It will pass in time.
Now is probably not a good time for you to think about marriage b/c your hormones and feelings are so out of whack, but trust me, it is normal and it will pass. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you!! :)
Keep your head up
2006-12-27 03:18:14 · answer #6 · answered by Mommy of 2 Boys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't feel closer to my ex-hubby when I was pg w/ either of our boys, I just felt clingy. Same thing w/ my daughters w/ my hubby now. Normally, I am very independent and outgoing. I think it is normal for you to feel different when you are pg, your hormones are out of whack. I would'nt make any major decisions in your current state, I would just maybe put a halt on wedding talks until the baby is born and then sort out your feelings. Good luck to you and Congrats!
2006-12-27 02:58:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hormones can play a big part in our emotions, and I would suspect that is the problem now. Certainly do not run out and get married right now. Sounds like you need some time to think intelligently about it. Good luck!
2006-12-27 02:56:42 · answer #8 · answered by WhiteChocolate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just all the adjustments your body is going thru and the hormones raging. I feel the same way I want the cuddling and things like that but the thought of sex makes me wanna yac♥
2006-12-27 02:52:32 · answer #9 · answered by ♥USMCwife♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is all a part of being pregnant. But what da hell...if you don't want to marry him you will be ok without him. Just love the baby!
2006-12-27 02:53:21 · answer #10 · answered by Wat Da Hell 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋