My fiance is in Holland, I am in the States. She met an attorney from Cleveland, Mississippi, he is married w kids, and he invited her to go to Prague for several days and he even said he would pay her. He was there on business. I objected. She insisted they would not sleep together. She went dispite my objection. They shared a bed and she later admited having intercourse with him. It is all unexceptable to be and dont want a thing to do with her. She says I am over reacting. I want nothing to do with her. She continues to call, text, etc, and is even asking me for financial support. Was I wrong to end it? There have been trust issues with her in the past and Im tired of it all.
2006-12-27 02:44:57 · 57 answers · asked by Dave S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Should I inform this man's wife of what he did?
2006-12-27 02:48:27 · update #1
If you want a relationship with a girl who is deceptive, does not tell the truth, lies, covers up, is not honest with you, then by all means continue to persue this relationship. If however, these are not things you want in a relationship, then it would be wise to end it and find someone else who has better qualites. This girl sounds like bad news and my advice would be to find someone better. You deserve better.
2006-12-27 02:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by ending this relationship. You said there have been trust issues in the past, and these issues have definitely increased! She went when you asked her not to...she was PAID to go...the man was married w/ kids...she slept with a near-stranger...she is ASKING YOU FOR MONEY... Of course she says you are over-reacting - she isn't done using you yet. This woman is only out for herself and has erred on multiple fronts. You cannot trust her at all. I'm sure there are a lot of things you don't even know about that she's done, because this thing with the attorney is REALLY LOW, and you can bet it is not the 'first' time she has behaved this way. If possible block her communications or just get a new number. When she sees she can't get any money out of you, she will find someone else to use.
You need to find ways to bolster your self-esteem; this is said in kindness - there should not be any question of your staying with this woman, and because there seems to be, you need to work on yourself a little so you have the confidence in relationships that you need. Develop a hobby or hang around with people as friends who see your true worth.
2006-12-27 02:58:21 · answer #2 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has major issues. Unless you have an open relationship, she has some real respect issues. Your fiance should should not be seeing another man, particularly when he pretty much spelled out his desires for her in his request and you out right objected to her even considering such a trip. She went anyway and then informs you that something did in fact occur. She had intent and followed through with it. Unless you don't mind someone who doesn't seem to respect your feelings or just wants an open door physical relationship policy, then you did the right thing. Some couples get off on knowing that other people find thier mate attractive and enjoy hear or watching their better half with someone else. If you are not one of those people and you don't seem to be, then you need to rid yourself of such aggrivation. Things will only get worse and you'll end up at some point trying to out do her. She's stupid and selfish and manipulative for expecting you not to react as you did, and then to put the fault on you is just asinine. You owe her nothing, you've ended the relationship. She can have the attorney from Cleveland, MS help her out financially as she chose to be with him over you anyway. You are better off not having to deal with such a mess. Change your phone number and just move on. Tell her that she has no understanding of your feelings and if she does, you will not be treated in such a manner. Tell her not to call or contact you ever again and if she does that you will consider it harrassment. Don't joke with her or be overly pleasant. Be direct and to the point and tell her that any financial obligation that you might have felt for her was removed when she chose to go to Cleveland. He said he would pay her way and she accepted therefore he now assumes such responsibilities.
She left her current job for a new job, so you own her no salary.
2006-12-27 03:25:02 · answer #3 · answered by Neptune 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? HECK NO you weren't wrong to end that "so called" relationship. What kinda hot mess was that.
RUN... and don't look back. And telling the wife of that man? No, don't do it... just end the drama and move on and concentrate on healing, growing and understanding yourself better, so that you won't attract any other type of unfaithful women into your life. Drop all avenues of communication with her. Change your telephone number and find some healthy activities to clear your mind when you think about her. It won't be easy since you obviously cared about her for a while. What she choose to do was soooooooooo totally unacceptable and nasty. The fact that she doesn't see anything wrong with what she did should cause you great concern, since it's an obvious sign that she's has no moral character and might also be straight up crazy.
What in the World???? Wow! Man.. RUN!
2006-12-27 02:58:27 · answer #4 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has proven to be a liar and untrustworthy. I would end the relationship.
As far as telling the mans wife, I wouldn't because there's kids involved and you don't want to break up THEIR family just because their dad is a bastard.
Eventually he'll pay for what he is doing to his family by the laws of what goes around comes around...some call it karma.
I would tell her to piss off and wouldn't even consider telling the mans wife...you would be hurting innocent people out of your own anger. Chances are it will happen one day anyway and you would be better off knowing you didn't affect the lives of children by your own hand.
Better yet, if you want to make a point to her, tell her you've met someone else and you're breaking off the relationship with her because you cannot trust her...and the new person in your life shares the same moral values as you...something she obviously does not.
2006-12-27 02:56:09 · answer #5 · answered by Chick-A- Deedle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you were not wrong to end it. Firstly you asked her not to go, cos you ´could read between the lines´, she didnt listen and then landed up sleeping with him. U say there has been trust issues, well to me Trust and Respect are the most important in any relationship. You dont trust her now, u wont trust her later. Now she wants you financial support! Give me a break! You did right! Move on....
2006-12-27 02:49:29 · answer #6 · answered by BadGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think that you were wrong to end it. If there were several trust issues with her in the past, then she has a lot of things to work out with herself. You should not have to suffer through it while she does. It doesn't mean you shouldn't forgive her later if you feel the need. But you definately can not let someone run over you. There has to be a consequence...she cheated so she has to know that you are not going to be with someone who does that to you.....good luck.
2006-12-27 02:53:44 · answer #7 · answered by kimiepoo2k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems that it wasnt just a one night temptation, everythin had been preplanned! And who was she kiddin? hangin out with another guy who was payin 4 her and NOT have sex? And tellin u AAAAAALLLL about it!? U say there have been trust issues b4, so i guess she thinks she has u for granted and she wont lose u no matter what she does. I havent heard her side of the story, and dunno if u 2 have done things b4 or not, but If u guys cant handle a long distance relationship just GIVE UP! And about tellin the wife? BAD idea! u dun wanna be a home wrecker do u? U just deal with your own relationship issues.
Bon Courage!
2006-12-27 03:19:50 · answer #8 · answered by Elmira A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All would say...go away from her. She can't blame you if you ignore her this time. She is not worthy of your trust because she did not value your objection to a grave sin she will commit. Worst she told you they had sex. This is plainly an insult after an injury. This lady will just manipulate you. She is imploring tactics of a swindler by sweet talking and cheating on you affront. You should realize that a healthy relationship bank on trust and commitment for the welfare of both and never one-sided. You said you are tired of it. So don't wait until you will be angry and might hurt her physically. All wounds are healed by time...Take care.
2006-12-27 03:14:59 · answer #9 · answered by wynx888 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations. You are reacting as a sane, rational person SHOULD react when their fiance sleeps with another man, and then takes the position that YOU are wrong to object. Continue to have NOTHING to do with this woman, and thank God that you didn't marry her. She is both amoral, and stupid. Even a slutt should have enough sense to hide their actions when they are behaving wrongly. Start the new year with a new woman. You'd have a hard time doing worse.
2006-12-27 02:56:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋